napping in mommy's bed??

[stephie]

I've just discovered that if I let my 4 month old nap in our bed, she seems to nap better, and for longer.... she used to be a victim of the 20 minute naps but in the last 3 days, I've let her nap in our bed (without us) and she's been going 1 hour + and unswaddled!!!!

Before, we were swaddling her tight and putting her in her crib which would aggrevate her and she'd ALWAYS wake after 20 or 30 minutes..... until this day, she's only ever napped for longer than 30 minutes in her crib about 4 times!!! She'd be fine when we went for walks or in the car, but in her crib 30 minutes was the max.

Is it bad to let her nap on our bed? Her night time sleeping seems to be OK - she sleeps in her crib and only wakes about once a night these days (knock on wood!!!)  I just want my little girl to get some sleep during the day!!!! When she wakes from her naps in her crib, she wakes up crying out loud usually... when in our bed, she wakes up happy!!!!

Would love to get some feedback!!!

[sophiems]

Well, I guess it's a matter of what you want.  If you get her used to sleeping in your bed for naps, she'll come to expect it.  What are you going to do when she starts crawling, rolling, standing up, etc.  You can't keep her there forever.  You just have to decide if you want to wean her from it now when it's "easy" or wait until the habit is definitely established to have a really rough time of getting her used to the crib. 
Also, she's going to soon think that "ok, Mom lets me sleep here for naps, how about nighttime as well??"  You just have to decide what you want...kid in your bed, or kid in her own bed.

That being said, it might help to think about what the differences are between your room and hers...is yours darker, quieter, have white noise, is your matress more comfy, does it just smell like you? 
Maybe there's something there you can recreate in her room to help.  I really think a lot of cribs are just too darn hard and cold.  Maybe putting something a little softer down under the crib sheet (so she won't get tangled in it) would help.  My DD slept worlds better when we moved to soft crib mattress from his bassinet, which in my opinion is rock hard. 

I guess you just really have to decide how you want to progress.  Tracy's motto..."start as you mean to go on..."

[~Angie~]

Tracy's motto..."start as you mean to go on..."

I was going to say the exact same thing.  Another thing you could do, if she doesn't like her crib, is let her play in there for a while during the day. This helps to get LOs used to their beds. What kind of covers does she have on her in your bed? I am wondering why she doesn't mind not being swaddled in your bed, but wants it in her crib. I too would figure out what it is about your bed that is som comforting to her and try to recreate it in her bed.

Good luck!!!!

[kbella]

In the beginning I used to let DD sleep/nap in my bed, mainly because it was easy but also because she slept so well in my bed.  For the past couple weeks, I've transitioned her to her crib, and unfortunately she doesn't always sleep so well in it.  I think partly is because my mattress isn't as firm so she would sink just a tiny smidge and not be able to move (she's a side sleeper).  So I've started using a sleep positioner in her crib and she's slept better for the most part.  My room is also darker even though we have the same blackout shades, plus I use a fan for white noise.  So I have a white noise machine in her room which I guess seems to help (I set it on ocean). Unfortunately she has a bad cold right now so she isn't getting much sleep these days

Good luck!

[M2L]

hi stephie,

i nap with my DD in my bed.  how's that for being a rebel?     DD naps for 1.5 to 2 hours in the morning and i do, too.  i found that if i didn't nap with her, i didn't get any rest.  DD only catnaps in the afternoon, and usually she'll sleep either in her bassinette, or her car seat or baby carrier if we are out.  when DH gets home from work, he has a catnap with her at around 5 pm, which works out well as this is his routine!  DD's bedtime is 7:30 pm, and she sleeps well at nighttime, until around 6:45 am.

i really enjoy having naps with DD as she is only this age for a short time.  DD slept with me at nightime until she was seven weeks old, at which time i transitioned her to her crib within a few days.

you have to do what works for YOU.  it's your family.

[Lana]

Is there a reason that she naps better in your bed?  Is it darker in your room?  Is it because the blankets smell like you?

My only concern about you leaving her to nap in your bed is what do you do when she learns to roll?  Personally I would try to find the reason that she naps better there and then create the same situation in her own crib.

[Christopher's Mom]

Hi - I'm new here, mostly reading about sleep issues, as we're plagued by them with our seven week old. We just started working on EASY about 10 days ago. We've solved the snacking mentality and finally eat normal "meals," but our sleep issues still continue.

I, too, have noticed that my LO will fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer in our bed. We recently moved him out of his bassinet that was in our room and into his crib for all naps/sleep. Nightime seems to go okay (once we get him to sleep), but daytime naps are the notorious 30-45 minute variety.

I think there is a lot to say for infants' sense of smell. Several weeks ago, Christopher fell asleep in my arms (as he always did at that point) and I was just so tired of holding him all the time (that's when I discovered Tracy's book). But, every time I put him down, he'd wake up within minutes. So, I got the idea that if I could trick him into thinking I was still holding him, maybe he would stay asleep. Out of desperation, I decided to pull my t-shirt over my head and drape it under him as I laid him down on our sofa. Wouldn't you know, he slept for 2.5 hours that afternoon?

Now that we're still having nap issues and we're trying to make the full transition into his crib, I find myself looking for another way to solve the sleeping problem and an idea hit me when I was reading this thread and looking at my sleeping baby on our bed. I remembered the t-shirt incident and immediately went into his room to "fix" his crib. This thread talks about what's different between mommy's bed and the crib. Well, mommy's bed is a heck of a lot softer and it probably smells "better" to Christopher. So, I took an old comforter and laid it out under the sheet in his crib to soften it up. Then I took the hospital blanket that we use on our bed and tucked it in all around the mattress so I can use it as a blanket over my LO once he is swaddled and laid down to sleep. This afternoon's nap is my first shot at trying it ... and so far, we've got 15 minutes down. We'll see how it goes ...

I think the key to solving most of our issues is paying attention the cues the LOs give us and then being creative to meet their needs. And then, like Stacy mentioned, making sure we don't start anything we don't want to continue.

Oh nuts ... I hear him stirring ... Well, here's what I thought to try, for what it's worth ...

Trish

PS: Yeah! In the time it took to spellcheck this, he settled himself back down. Maybe the blanket from my bed WILL work! ;-)

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Thanks for that Trish, that makes a lot of sense

I would normally say, whatever works for you, but the safety aspect does worry me. Looser bedding, high sides with no barriers, pillows with the possibility of smothering, etc could all become a problem when lo starts becoming mobile. You really should get out of the habit before it becomes a problem.

I like the idea of getting the lo to play in the cot, so it becomes a safe, pleasant place to be with no negative connotations.

[M2L]

that is a very interesting theory trish.

stephie, i wanted to add that i do not let my DD sleep in the bed alone as i do not think that this is a safe practice.  whenever she is sleeping in our bed, either DH or i is there with her.

[sophiems]

just something to think about...not only is your lo eventually going to have to get used to her crib, she's also going to be shocked that no warm body is next to her, it's going to be  tough transition, the longer you let it continue.