What would you do?!?

[Sungrl]

I've been battling the 40 minute naps with my almost 8 week old baby girl for about 2 weeks.  She wakes up in the morning VERY happy...all smiles, just the sweetest little girl and we have a lot of fun interacting.  As the day progresses with 40 minute naps, she wakes up less and less happy from each one.  By evening she is overtired and very grumpy...and often even getting her to eat is a struggle. 

Before the 40 minute naps started, she was a very happy baby all the time and slept around 18 hours a day.  She was very portable and easy to take places and slept well in the car.  Since she started the 40 minute naps, she cries more, she is harder to take places, has had total meltdowns in the car, screams during baths, and is just generally a lot less happy than she was for the first 5 weeks of her life.  Bedtime routines have also gone out the window because she is so fussy and will not tolerate massage or much of anything anymore.    

She sleeps from 9pm until 3am or 4am, nurses and then will go back down for another 3 hours before the day of 40 minute naps starts. If she can get through the 40 minute mark, she will often sleep for 1.5-3 hours. 

• I have tried leaving her for 5-10 minutes and she has never settled herself (although I have seen her do this at night).
• I have tried extending her 'A' time (even up to 2 hours) and she still woke after exactly 40 minutes.
• I have tried shortening her 'A' time and she still woke after exactly 40 minutes.
• I have tried putting an air purifier in her room for "white noise" and she still woke after exactly 40 minutes.
• I have tried putting her down as soon as she starts yawning and she still woke after exactly 40 minutes.
• I have tried going by the clock instead of watching for her signs of tiredness and she still woke after exactly 40 minutes.
• I have tried going in and shhhh/patting her through the stirring and I have never been able to get her to settle back to sleep.
• I have tried W2S and it has never worked (today I walked in the room and touched her gently and she woke right up...it had only been just over 30 minutes!)
• I have tried picking her up and rocking or bouncing her back to sleep.  Sometimes she will start to drift off but 9 times out of 10 she is just wide awake (but sometimes not at all happy to be awake). Sometimes I can get her back to sleep but she will often wake again 5-10 minutes later.

The ONLY thing that I have found to work is to HOLD her while she sleeps.  Often, around 8am when she is ready for her first nap I will get back in bed and hold her.  She stirs at the 40 minute mark but I hold her tight (I don't rock or anything, just hold her tighter) and she doesn't wake up.  She usually stirs off and on for 10 minutes like this.  If I can get her to stay asleep I can then lay her down and she will sleep for another 45 - 75 minutes.  I have also done this in the evening.

Obviously I cannot spend my whole day holding my daughter while she naps.  Her nap times are when I shower, clean the house, have time for ME, and I know I will be creating bad habits if I am holding her every time she naps.  I don't mind holding her first thing in the morning because I just nap then myself, or even in the evening while I watch a show or something...but I'm wondering if by doing this once or twice a day, am I doing more harm than good???  I honestly have tried in earnest all the above things and nothing has worked.  My baby girl needs to sleep more than 40 minutes...she gets so overtired and grumpy!  I am wondering if I can get her sleeping through these 40 minute marks while holding her if she will learn to settle on her own eventually or just grow out of the 40 minute thing.  What would you do?!?!?

Shannon

[Mom to M&M]

Are you swaddling her?

[blue2006]

Have you tried both W2S methods?  Maybe the pressure at the jolts would work (kind of sounds like that's what you're doing when you have her in your arms).  I read that it can take several weeks to take affect sometimes only three days.  My lo started doing the 45 minute naps at around the same age.  We started putting him to night sleep at 6pm!  It certainly helped with the grumpiness.

Good luck

[Sungrl]

Thanks for the replies gals...

I double swaddle her...still doesn't work.

I have tried pressure at the jolts, I guess the problem is that they go on for 10 minutes or so and often I think it's over so I leave and she wakes up.  How did you get your LO sleeping for good at 6pm??  Zoey never goes down for good until around 9:30pm.  I try to put her down earlier but she won't stay asleep.  She has to take medication at 9pm anyway so that's when we aim to have her asleep (some days it works, some days she's so overtired it takes longer to get her to bed).

Shannon

[KathrynK]

Hi there
I used to apply pressure at the jolts to get dd to nap longer. I was usually in her room for about 30 minutes each time- sounds ages but it did pay off as she learnt to do it on her own eventually. Once I was there so long and so comfy I fell asleep on the side of her cot 

[Mom to M&M]

What type of medication do you give her? Why does it have to be at 9pm? You really want bedtime to be no later than 8pm (and preferably earlier really). We used to have to stay for at least 20 minutes to apply pressure through the jolts until she grew out of it...

[binxyboo]

Hi Shannon,

Sorry things are still rough for you. One thing I did think of was that Riley always settled best on his side, in a sleep positioner, kind of tucked into it.

Michelle

[Sungrl]

blue2006  - what are the two W2S methods exactly??

Marisa'sMama - Zoey is on Phenobarbital for seizures she had when she was 2 days old.  Originally the doctors wanted us giving it to her at 11pm but we've slowly moved it to 9pm.  She has to take it late at night or it could have adverse affects on her during the day.  She normally sleeps from 9pm until 8:30 or 9am with one (sometimes 2 but rarely) wakings, so I'm not worried about her bedtime.

Michelle - I also put Zoey on her side but doesn't seem to be helping much.

[blue2006]

Have a look at this https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64168.0 the two methods are written at the bottom.  I had some success with it but I need to work out a better way to position myself as I need to do it for a long time!  My lo is almost six months and a cot is harder to stand over than a bassinet - so give it ago now.  You might need to check with the doc first though.

When Liam was very young he'd go down at 10pm  I gradually brought the time forward over a few weeks and it kinda just struck.    He'd still wake after his first five hours but would go back to sleep quickly after a feed. I'm only now getting back to regular bath and massage.  Due to the 45 minute naps I abandoned BW when Liam was only 8 weeks cause I didn't see how it could work (I didn't look round hard enough!)  The naps weren't an issue until 4 months when the night waking occurred (on the hour!) and he started to get overtried and cranky.  Stick with it it'll be worth it in the end. 

I have read they may grow out of it by six months but since your lo isn't her happy self you're doing the right thing trying to figure out how to extend her naps.

Have you got both BW books?  The second one will help with the problems.  The first gives you the know how.

Here for you!

[blue2006]

BTW have you read the special sleep interview? https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=451.0