Hi, I really need help. I posted this initially on night wakings, but it could just as easily go here. Napping for us is actually a much bigger struggle than even night wakings, and it all goes hand in hand I think. I'll repost here what I posted there in hopes that someone will be able to help. It's long, but I tried to make it detailed to explain as specifically as I could where we're at. Thanks in advance!
I need help figuring what is going on with my child and his sleeping problems. He was such a happy baby when awake and still is after a feed or a good sleep, but he quickly regresses to fussy/crying fits and/or restlessness when it comes to sleeping. He started having trouble napping at all maybe a month or so ago and was still waking in the night for I what I assumed was hunger (I'd breastfeed him). I read 2 of Tracy's books the week before Thanksgiving and tried to implement EASY for the first time then (though loosely, without attention to specific times). (Before, it was all demand feeding, and he'd be catnapping and eating quite often in the day). I read more and got him transitioned into a 4 hour routine starting last week. This week, I'm trying to tweak the best times to wake and for bedtime, etc, so the start time for his routine has changed as of this week.... Before beginning easy, we let him cry it out twice. I'd go in to reassure but not pick up. He screamed for 2 hours straight and never resettled. We were also switching from the cradle to crib in his own room b/c he is too big for the cradle (16/17 pounds at 4 mos). When I read tracy's book, I did pu/pd, and it was ok first day. Second day was atrocious, so I did her transition trick if left to cio. It helped. But then we went on vacation, and he went into a bassinet ok or on the floor for naps. When we got back, I started easy more in earnest and he would go into his crib and slept there at night for the first time. B/c he'd go in at night and could sleep for naps, I didn't continue the transition b/c he didn't necessarily have a crib aversion anymore, or if he does, it's sporadic. I'll answer your questions below.
How old is your child? 4 months old
What’s his/her daily routine?
As of this week,
6/6:30 E
7:00 A
8:30 S (after a walk outside. I let him sleep in his carseat in stroller. If he wakes before 2 hours, I swaddle and put him in the crib)
10:30 E
11:00 A
12:30 S
2:30 E
3:00 A
4:30 S
6:30 E
7:00 prebed prep
7:30 S
11 DF
This is what I've been trying to do anyway. He'll often need a Pu/Pd after 30 minutes to an hour of his first nap after walking. The midday nap, he'll sometimes go down after not much fuss but awakes about 30 minutes to an hour into it and is unsettled and will not go down. I then do PU/PD which makes him even more upset and frantic. It can take most of his naptime to get him back down. He fights me. Evening nap (and sometimes the midday one) he's fought me even at the start of his winddown routine. Pu/PD is a nightmare. He gets so agitated. It might take an hour to get him down. Then he might sleep for an hour or hour and a half. He took an hour for my husband to get him down last night for sleep. Usually this is easier. (probably b/c yesterday we changed his night sleeping time in an attempt to make things better. We were feeding him again at 8:00, putting him down at 8:30. He'd only take an ounce of DF at 11pm. He'd then wake several times (often being ok'd w/ a paci, sometimes wanting to eat).
This past night with the sooner bedtime and not topping off at 8, he woke at 10:30/11pm for a feeding. Slept till about 1:30. He was smelly, so I gave him a diaper change quietly. Gave him a paci, reassured and left. He went back to sleep. Same at 2:30 or 3:00. At 4:40? he woke again and I thought maybe it was hunger. Fed him. He seemed to be sleepy but woke after a minute in bed. He then cooed to himself and moved all about his crib. He's now at 5:42 fussing and starting to cry. uggghhh. I'm tired. Gave him a paci. He's now flailing around in his crib but quiet again for the moment.
What’s nap routine?
about 30 minutes prior, I swaddle him (lower half, leaving arms out so he can breathe if he rolls over in his sleep and so he can suck on his fingers and b/c he fights like anything if they are swaddled, and he can get them unswaddled anyway. But sometimes,he's so fidgety that I swaddle him more fully at naptime and keep an eye on him on the monitor). I turn on his music (rain and thunder sounds). I sit with him quietly. sometimes shhhing and patting. He fights this, really resisting being held in one place, especially with sitting. I try to rub my hand down over his hand over his eyes to block out light and stimulation. Rarely it helps. Lately it doesn't. Sometimes he eventually gives in and starts to ease. If he's fighting sitting, I'll stand and shh/pat him, sometimes with a slight sway. He likes this after awhile and calms. When I go to put him in his crib then, he bolts awake. I try to soothe with words and touch. When that doesn't work, I shhh/pat by turning him sideways and doing this kind of how Tracy mentioned. On occasion, this really helps after a number of times. Usually though he fights it and arches his back and turns his head back to try to get my attention and fusses A LOT. He pushes his back backwards so that I can no longer reach him to pat, and he is strong. I sometimes give up then and shhh him and pat his tummy or hold my hand there. If/when he fusses, I get begin PU/PD. This gets him going even more and he starts screaming. He'll start settling when I pick him up and start screaming on the way down. I do as Tracy says and lay him all the way back. I then try to console again first w/ shhh/pat (even lowering crib and gettting down over him). Repeat. With every PU he gets even more upset, sometimes really screaming and stiffening and arching. I put him down if he fights like this. This can go on for an hour or an hour and a half. I'm also putting his paci in back when I lay him down again.
How long are naps? anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours. I do pu/pd to get him to the 2 hour mark.
What's bedtime routine? Time? Before bed, we give him a massage w/ lotion and put him in jammies. He sometimes gets a rock from daddy till sleepy and I used to bf him, though w/ the new bedtime yesterday, I didn't. We then take him into his dark room w/ rain music and swaddle and put him down. Dad plays recorder or I sing hymns, and he goes down with fidgeting but not too much vocal fussing. It was at 8:30, yesterday began at 7:20 or so. He didn't go down till 8:30.
Do you bottle or breastfed?? Both. BF during day. Last couple of days, I've been pumping an hour after and topping him off with an ounce in case my supply is lower. Dad dreamfeeds a bottle (but lately he's only taking an ounce of that. He woke yesterday before the dreamfeed, so I fed him by breast).
How much? or how long? If a bottle, 8 oz. He always downs it all if you give him a bottle, no matter how much it seems. BF lately about 30 minutes. He used to feed for 40 minutes to an hour. That's when he would catnap too. He has a real need to suck w/ bf. Doesn't seem to be an efficient feeder. AFterwards, he'll often screech as if in pain from gas or somethign. I burp him, often by holding my arm against his tummy and standing up, he gets releif immediately w/ a burp and is happy but will often spit up during this. He spits up a lot.
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed) both. ONe side isn't enough to satisfy him. Sometimes my left side satisfies, but he usually needs both. It's always been this way.
How many wakes per night? ok, before EASy, probably twice to eat. Usually around 3:30/4:30. Generally 7 hours after putting him down. Then he'd want to be up and not go back unless I put him in his swing and let him sleep for another 2 or so. Now w/ EASY it depends but is a lot. First night I remember recording it, he woke only once and just needed a paci to resettle. Next night, he woke twice, once resettling w/ paci and the other b/c of a diaper explosion. Then he stopped taking a dreamfeed and would wake sporadically maybe 3-4 or more times a night. Often resettling w/ a paci. But sometimes if this kept up, I'd feed him thinking it really was hunger. He would take about new full time bf. Sometimes he'd go back down, sometimes not. Last night, he was up as I mentioned above maybe 3-4 times. He just cooed himself and mantra'd? himself to sleep then awoke again maybe 5-10 minutes later. He had had a massive diaper explosion sometime I think before the cooing. I changed it and put him back for 15 minutes or so. He cried when I put him down ut is settling somewhat w/ a paci. We'll see....
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? See above. Sometimes will settle right away w/ a paci and reassurance. I can walk away, and he'll go back to sleep. (This by the way will not happen in the day b/c of the light I think. He is easily stimulated/overstimulated, overtired and quite spirited.) Otherwise, he can sit rustling around for half an hour to an hour maybe.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? Try to wait a few minutes to see if he'll resettle. I'm still not sure what his mantra is, but I wait to see if the cry escalates in volume/intensity. If it does, I go in and resettle first w/ words, maybe light touch and paci. If I put him down (in the PU/pd mode, he screams), If I leave the room and he's awake during the day he cries immediately usually. At night, he sometmes fusses when I leave, sometimes he's just fine.
What have you tried to settle?? see above. He's also on ocassion waking up from rolling over. He can go from back to tummy but gets scared or doesn't like that position and can't right himself to his back. He's moving all over the place in his crib and got his leg stuck recently. We now make sure we at least swaddle his lower legs so he doesn't easily get stuck. Also trying to fix the night wakings and the napping.
What do you do for A time and how long is it? Mornings are a song, him in bumbo while I eat, sometimes him in bouncy (everything off except for the mode that plays a tune if he reaches for somethign) while I shower, he gets dressed and massaged w/ lotion, a bath if he needs it, sometimes cooing and then off for a walk. Midday, tummy time, sometimes lying on his back practicing rolling, play time w/ mommy, sometimes a book, I'll give him one or two colored items or a rattle while on his back or doing tummy time. early evening, on the floor again or me talking to him. Daddy time before bed is rocking, playing, chatting, silliness overall. A time is generally about an hour and a half.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? Yes. He's been teething I think for ages (at least a month or more.) But nothing comes through. But he drools and is fussy a lot and is constantly biting on anything near his mouth--his fingers, your fingers, burp cloths, anything. He'll be ok and happy and playing and will pause and talk and seem frustrated with his finger in his mouth chomping on it. I'm afraid to give meds unless I have to b/c it is so ongoing. The doctor said he might be able to feel it for months before they show. He also learned to roll over but only one way (back to tummy and he hates being on tummy).
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) no
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? probably paci. He never took one before thanksgiving. always spit them out. I got one for the plane ride,a different kind, to help him w/ takeoff and landing. He was given it a lot by the grandparents while at thanksgiving. it also seemed to help w/ teething and he liked it. we then gave it to him to resettle and at night in case his waking was habitual about the sucking and since his feeding time is shortened after being on easy. but now he wants it when he's sleeping. if it falls out and he's not asleep, he wants it back to settle. really needs it to settle. but if it falls out while asleep he doesn't wake.
oh, ps. he also wakes every few days at least once for a diaper explosion. he stores his poops for several days and then does several days worth in one big moment. yikes. usually in the middle of the night. it is a MESS.
Do they have a lovie? no. afraid to have anything in the crib b/c of sids....
whew. sorry for the lengthy message. please help!
