New and knackered, hope you can help!

[purplelil]

 Hello ladies. I am new on here, hoping that someone can give me some ideas! My little boy is almost 6 months old and has always had changeable nighttime sleeping - a week of 6 hour stretches, then back to 3 hours. He was pretty ill with a fever last week so I was feeding him a lot at night to keep him hydrated so at the moment the nights are TERRIBLE and I'm exhausted!

I'll try and put the info down in some sort of order!

So Lorian is on what I call a 'flexible' EASY - the start and end of the days have regular times, but within the day his activity lenghts may vary and his mealtimes may differ by up to an hour. But by bedtime we are always back on track.

He is exclusively BF, both sides each time about every 3 to 4 hours, He has been on 2 solid feeds a day for a month, so his nightime routine is:

5.30 BF
6.00 Supper
6.30 Play and ready for bed
7.00 Short BF
7.15ish Sleep

He always goes down fine.

The last 4 nights have been waking at between 10and11 for a feed - no problem there - and goes back to sleep. But then....!

1am, 3am, 5am, 6.30am, 8am aaaaaaaah ...and with 'lifts' in between these as well.

He will sometimes be settled with a dummy for half an hour - think have dug myself a hole here, but you know that feeling of 'i will do anything for 2 minutes more sleep!' If left he pretty quickly yells a lot. He won't be pacified by being picked up, he just throws himself backwards - his hungry sign. He then eats a full feed, every time...so I think he IS hungry - it's not like he's eating to soothe himself, he's quite alert, then after he's fed he'll settle himself back down in less than 5 mins.

But 5x a night, I just can;'t keep doing it! Is he hungry? should I feed him more duringthe day? (I did put in an extra milk feed today), should I up his solids? Or is it not a food issue? It is beginning to feel like a habit which is why I am posting. I am feeling ok now, but the last few mornings i have jsut been in tears from tiredness and can't face the day, or him.

Daytime naps - usually 3, morning (40mins ish), afternoon (1hour ish)and late afternoon (half hourish), going down fine for these. He does have a dummy for the first5 mins, then it falls out.

I'm beginning to dream about formula and controlled crying. I need help!!!

Thanks

MeganX

[claires mum]

Hi MeganX

You're not alone.  There are a lot of us on this website with similar stories to tell.  Have you read the post "SLEEP / Night Wakings / Re: My 8 month old won't sleep through"? 

Do you think you could introduce a 9.00-10.30am sleep and a 1.30 - 3.00pm sleep?  This is the recommended EASY routine for 4+ months:

4-hour E.A.S.Y. (4 months and older)
E:  7:00 wake up and feed
A:  7:30
S:  9:00 (for 1.5-2 hours nap)
Y:  Your choice
E:  11:00
A:  11:30
S:  1:00 (1.5-2 hours)
Y:  Your choice
E:  3:00
A:  3:30
S:  5:00 or 6:00 or somewhere in between:  catnap [most babies drop this between 6-8 months, but there are many variations]
Y:  Your choice
E:  7:00 (cluster feed at 7:00 and 9:00, only if going through a growth spurt)
A:  bath
S:  7:30 bedtime
Y:  The evening is yours!
E:  11:00 dream feed (until 7 or 8 months, or whenever solid food is firmly established)

Any night feeds that you eliminate will need to be made up during the day...so you may need to up the food intake to help fuel your bub throught the day and night.

If you think he is waking out of habit (likes to have you near, a feed and a cuddle...) maybe try just a drink of water....he may figure out that it's not worth waking up for it!


 

[purplelil]

Hiya. Thanks for replying...so are you suggesting his 2 main daytime naps are longer? He does have 3 naps a day, the last one (5pmish) is really short. At the moment he needs one more feed than in your schedule (more like Eat at 7, 11, *1*, 3 and 6), but i could encourage him to rest more in the day.
Interestingly last night we did leave him to it when he woke at 1.30- I wasn't going to let him get distressed - but I thought i need to get out of this running to him with the dummy habit. He did cry, but just kind of moaning on really, for an hour (!), but then did go back to sleep. So he fed at 11 then 3.30...i can deal with that!
Fingers crossed anyway. Would be interested just to know if you were suggesting longer naps though, if you have time to reply

CheersXXX

[claires mum]

Hi.  Each baby is so different and it's hard to know whether your bub has a low/medium/high sleep requirement for his age.  Success stories for bubs that have frequent night wakings (on this site and others) suggest either 2*1.5 hour sleeps during the day and maybe a 20 - 40 minute bridging nap in the afternoon.  Other Mums swear by a 40 minute morning and afternoon sleep with a 1.5 hour lunch time sleep.  I tried the latter and my baby just wouldn't do it...so I'm on the 2*1.5hour sleeps.  No afternoon catnap as she won't go down at all.

It sounds like the 1.30am moaning cry is your little boy's mantra cry??  Just his way of getting himself back to sleep..which is great.  If he feels comfortable doing this by himself then the mantry cry will eventually get less and less and he might just slip from one sleep cycle to the next. 

For 6 months, 2 feeds a night sounds OK to me...he might work out pretty soon that he wants to eliminate one.  My daughter is 8 months and eating lots of solids during the day..so I know she doesn't need the night feed...she only wants it out of habit.  I started to give her water instead last night...hoping that she'll figure out its not waking up for.

Good luck...sounds like you're making progress.

[purplelil]

Hiya. Thanks for replying - well we have made progress, hurray!

I'd never heard of a 'mantra' cry, but that is what he seems to be doing. As i said even the first night when we left him his crying wasn't that distressed. It is getting less each night and actually you are spot on about the sleep cycles - now that he hardly wakes (5 or 10 mins of quiet grumbling) he seems to sleep better afterwards, as if he isn't disturbing his sleep cycles. At the moment (and I KNOW it may change - after 6 months of a bubba I know nothing lasts forever! We have teeth and all sorts to come!) he feeds at 11, and 2 nights ago slept through til 6 (omg heaven) and last night til 4, fed, then til 8. So that's fine by me:)

I think putting him in his own room has actually helped him sleep better - and my partner and i are in the same bed for the first time since i got pregnant! That has to be good!!!

Re daytime naps, He has always been a 40minute-er, so maybe he doesn't need so much. His pattern is 2x 40min and one longer one. It is v interesting to hear that babies usually follow one of those patterns.

Hope the water tactic worked for you!

Thanks again:)

Megan and Lorian XXX

[claires mum]

Great news Megan and Lorian!!!  Well done.  Claire and I are also making good progress...down to just one or two night wakings ...due to Claire wriggling out of her wrap and getting cold...I can fix that with some better wrapping techniques. 

AND HOORAH for sleeping in your bed with just your partner....doesn't it feel liberating!!!

Cheers
Lou and Claire