Stopping night feed at 11months

[knackered]

I know there's a few other posts on here about something similar but wanted advice on my situation. My LO is 11 months now and still waking once for a bf any time between 1am to 5.30. And he wants a full feed - when I've tried to give him less he won't settle. I don't feed him to sleep - I put him back in his cot awake and if he's had enough he'll mantra a bit but then go to sleep. I've tried a couple of times to settle him without feeding him, giving him water and pat/shh-ing but he was awake for over 2 hours - so I gave in and fed him at that point.

The trouble is he's now in a vicious circle - he doesn't eat much during the day (never has done - he's spirited and too busy) and he knows that he can catch up with food at night so he really is hungry when he wakes. Any ideas?

Thanks
Anna

[Jodi and her boys]

Anna,

My suggestion would be pu/pd or wi/wo.  THe experts are over at the pu/pd board.  It sounds like he will not allow you to try to alter his amount that he is taking in.  Another suggestion would be to have your dh or partner settle him instead of you.  If my lo wakes, I send my dh to settle him.  He definitely knows daddy won't nurse him back to sleep!

[Peek-a-boo]

I had a similar situation and when my DS was 9 months we stopped the night feed.  I put DH in charge of night wakings--it was ugly for 2 nights and then no problems and we've never looked back.  Now I can go to him at night and he doesn't expect to feed at all.  I'm a SAHM, so I felt guilty putting DH on night duty, but I think it was definitenly the way to go.  He used pu/pd to get DS to settle.  When we did this we ended up basically adding a bf during the day, which I know is weird in BW world, but he was asking for it and after dropping the night feed I wanted him to have plenty of chances to add day time calories.

Bethany

[Jodi and her boys]

Yes, forgot to add to offer the breast more during the day, he will definitely want it.  We are down to three feeds a day, and although ds is very active, he sucks down his meals quickly (Sorry, TMI!).

[Tatumsmom]

Hi Anna,
I'm sorry your struggling at the moment but maybe I can make you feel a bit better.I have been trying to get my 12 month old DD to drop her early morning feed(5:00am) with no luck. I have tried all the suggestions under the sun and she still wakes some nights for a feed.

Well I had her 12 month check up on Thursday and I thought for sure the nurse was going to blast me for feeding her at night still. I told her that Tatum has her last bottle at 6:30 and then goes to sleep but still gets up some nights. I described all the things I've tried...wi/wo, pu/pd, water down the bottle,decreasing the oz, and even CIO (hangs head in shame..I was desperate). You know what she told me...? She told me some babies have early morning feeds for a while and that she will drop it when she is ready. She told me never to ignore hungry cues..I was floored. I thought for sure she was going to tell me that at her age she should be able to go overnight with out eating.

All babies are different and I am finally excepting the fact that Tatum still needs a bottle somenights. Your story sounds so much like mind. I have been feeling like a failure as a parent because it seems all my friends kids sleep without getting up to eat. After my appointment I have a new since that I do know what I'm doing and that there is nothing wrong with it!!

So if you truly believe that it is hunger and not a habit I say keep on doing what your doing. Nobody knows your baby like you!!! I hope you are able to stop the night feeds, but if you can't just remember my little story... ;)I hope it helps.
Best of luck
Kim

[knackered]

Thanks so much for all your advice - think I'll put dh on duty in the new year - see how that goes! And thanks for your words of wisdom Kim - if all else fails I'll know I'm not alone!

Happy Christmas folks.

xx