HELP - should I wake my dd??

[MMAWS]

Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum, but not to the concept of EASY.  My dd is 7 and a half weeks old, and we have been on a very loose EASY schedule since the beginning - no set times just a basic eat, wake, sleep schedule.  For the past week and a half, she has been resisting bedtime BIG TIME.  It can take hours to get her down.  This week I have had some success with naps during the day - shhh / pat to get her down (I can be in with her for 30-45 mins. to do this successfully), but very little success at night.  Once she is down at night she can go 6 or 7 hours before a feed, but getting her down is trying...

My first question is should I be waking her from naps to feed on the 3 hour EASY - often she can go 4 + hours between feeds if she is sleeping, and I just hate to wake her, especially if we have had a rough night, or missed a nap.  Here is our ideal schedule... although at the moment if she sleeps, I leave her to self rouse...

E - 8am
S- 9ish

E - 11am
S - 12ish

E - 2pm
S - 3ish

E - 5pm
bath time, cat naps in bouncy chair
7:30 - feed
8:00 - bedtime.

This is by no means our typical schedule - if we miss the mark on a nap, we seem to pay the overtired price all day. 

Next question - how can we get her down smoothly at bedtime?  I am starting to dread this time of day  

any advice would be welcome - thanks 

ps - here is a realistic example of a 'good' day'

8:45 wake
9 feed, activity (diaper, clothing change, chat)
9:50 sleep - I left at 10:30

1:30 wake
1:40 feed, diaper, massage
3:00 - I left at 3:45

5:30 wake
5:40 feed, family time, catnaps in bouncy chair, bathtime
8:15 feed
8:40 down - I left at 9:30 - this was a good night!!!

then up 2x for feeds until 9:15am next day

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

I'll answer your first question quickly in case you need it quickly, then come back to it:

My advice would be to let him sleep until it is time for a feed, then wake him up. Don't let him sleep through a feed time, or he won't take enough calories in the day, and he'll wake for food at night (or in the evening in your case). I know it's hard waking them when you've worked so hard to get them to sleep, but if you are consistent with the 3 hours, then his little body will get into the rythm, and it will get easier to get him to sleep.

Have you seen our FAQ section (at the top of the Nap forum)? It's full of great information about teaching sleep, etc.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Sorry, I said 'him' in my last post, didn't I? I just noticed you have a dd

Anyway, once you have her in the 3 hour routine, that feeding once every 3 hours is so important, b/c believe it or not, it should help her settle at bedtime - she'll have had enough calories and be more calm. Also, she'll be getting overtired by bedtime if her naps are all screwy, so that won't help. If you feel she is overtired atm, I'd keep her 'A' time down to an absolute minimum - just 'E', then almost start the wind-down straight away. This'll help her catch up. What's your wind-down like? Check out our FAQs section for Tracy's advice, which should really help.

Does she have a good bedtime routine? I mean you do exactly the same thing, at the same time every night. This might be bath/stories/milk/etc - whatever feels comfortable to you, but a good routine is the key to a good night. My ds still relies on his.

I notice in your 2nd routine she's waking at 8.45am. Could this be a little late - to stick on the 3 hour routine, is it pushing bedtime back too late, and she's getting overtired by then? Can you wake her at, say 7.30am, and start EASY then? And then perhaps an earlier bedtime with a dreamfeed. I know she's still only tiny, and you can drive yourself mad trying to keep to a routine at that age, but as long as YOU are being consistent (even if she's not ), it should start to fall into place.

HTH

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Just had a thought before I collapse into bed , have you looked into cluster feeding before bed at all? I'm no expert - you'd have to go to one of the feeding boards for that, but do you think that could be any help at night, at all?

[MMAWS]

Hi

Thanks for your response - we have officially started the 3 hour EASY today, and we stared at 7:15am - dd is now down, successfully, for her second nap   Thanks for your suggestion to start up earlier.

I will look into our bedtime routine to make sure it is the same each day, and I will also look into wind-down techniques, because I am sure we can work on them too.

Again, thanks for responding so quickly - we are feeling hopeful
 

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello, how are you getting on?

I just wanted to pop on and say that I hope this is working for you.

Don't worry if you get a regression around the 2nd/3rd day, btw - it's perfectly normal, and, so long as you're consistent, it should get better every day after that

[MMAWS]

Hi

Thanks for checking in - we are doing pretty well ... it has been busy with x-mas visiting and visitors, not to mention our 2 month checkup with vaccinations yesterday (over 3 hours total at a busy office!!)... so now that life is resumming somewhat we are getting back on track.  Even with all the upset, we did manage to stay to a pretty good schedule

Happy & Healthy 2007 - I'll let you know how things are in a week or so.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

  Good to hear it's going well

[MMAWS]

Hi again,

I thought I'd just write quickly to say that while things are going fairly well - some days are definately better than others!  I think my dd is textbook, except in a couple of areas, like sleep!, where she is touchy... she often wakes herself up several times on the way to dreamland - frustrating to watch!!  I am sure even more frustrating for her   If we miss her cues, she becomes what I lovingly refer to as 'screamy lips', and boy does she scream!! 

When she is asleep, she usually has great naps, although reacently we have been experiencing short ones that neither I nor she can resettle her from.  For the most part, she does resettle herself though. When she does wake up early, I will feed her earlier that 3 hours (thought I do try to hold off for 2 and a half), and just try to follow her cues for when she is ready for sleep. 

First thing in the morning, she can only manage 45 mins of A time, and then goes down for a long sleep (upto 3 hours, though today was only 1 hr. 15 mins), her next nap is usually less than 1 hr   and then the third one is usually a good one again.

Also - getting her to sleep at night is still difficult (often between 10pma nd midnight before she is down for the long haul) - sometimes she will go down right after the feed (8ish), but will be up 45 mins or 1 hour later.  She can go as long as 7 or 8 hours, but will also wake after 2 or 3 - not much consistency in the nighttime stamina.  She does go back to sleep fairly easily after a feeding.  In the evening, I have done the cat nap and her bedtime routine is bath, quick massage and PJ time, snuggle and feed then sleep...

She is now 10 weeks, and while I recognize that we have come a long way in the last 3 weeks, I feel like we are not there yet - especially on those screamy lip days!!

any advice re: shorter naps that are now happening, or late bedtime...from what I have posted above??

thanks again   I am off to try her third nap now ... wish me luck

[MMAWS]

btw... my lo is swaddled, and we do try to use the paci - though it is both a blessing and a curse in that is often helps her to sleep, when she accepts it, though sometimes she wakes when she looses it ... oh well, I guess we can't win 'em all...

[MMAWS]

ok - another 45 min nap   followed by 45 mins of me giving her her soother to try and resettle - needless to say that didn't help - what happened to my baby who could resettle herself, and take a decent nap??

Also, shouldn't she be able to manage most of the night by now?  e.g. at least 6-8 hours?  Perhaps I should let her be at night when she stirs rather than simply feeding unless 6+ hours have elapsed?  or crying ofcourse??

... just trying to figure this all out...