Hostage situation - my toddler is in charge!

[Dairy Queen]

Hi there,

My 15-month son is going through a rough patch these days.  He’s usually good at settling back to sleep when he wakes in the middle of the night.  He’ll whine, talk to himself, shuffle around and go back to sleep without parental intervention.  However, for weeks now, every couple of days, he’ll get up anywhere between 3-5 am and whine, then go quiet.  Then he’ll whine again, and then go quiet.  This process will repeat itself for 5-30 minutes.  Finally, he’ll begin to cry softly, and then it will turn into the wah-wah-wah kind (where he’ll be out of breath afterwards).  That’s usually when I intervene.  Because he’s been awake or a while, it then takes him soooo long to go back to sleep.  He’ll stop crying when he sees me (or my hubby), but as soon as he thinks that we will leave the room, wah-wah-wah-wah!

I don’t think he’s teething, since he does not show any signs of discomfort during the day, but it is hard to say.  His current routine:

6:45 wake
7:30 breakfast
11:30 – 1:00 nap
1:00 lunch
5:30 supper
6:45pm sleep

I have gone back to work and we now have a new nanny taking care of him during the day, but this night waking started before she arrived.  As for food, he is a good eater.  I suppose I could try feeding him more (or later)… but it has not consistently worked so far.  I have tried playing with various parameters: more/less food, more/less milk, bath vs. no bath, different temperatures in his room.  I know it sounds silly, but I will try anything.  Last night, I stood silently by my son’s side from 4:00am to about 5:00am until he dozed off so my husband could get some rest before going to work.

It felt trapped in a hostage situation… except the person in control is only 15 months old! Help!

[Doj]

Hugs to you. I don't have any advice, but wanted to tell you that we are
 going through the exact same thing. My dd started having night waking about 7 weeks ago and they haven't stopped. I have also tried the various parameters that you have outlined. My dd started daycare so I am sure that I am in for slu of new adventures.
I keep telling myself things will get better and I know they will, just takes time.

[imsmum]

Oh those 2 hour nw's, I remember those well, standing at the side of the crib with my hand on dd until she fell asleep!   With my dd they were almost always from overtiredness.  How long has he been on one nap?

I think first you want to rule out any teething , ear ache etc, although he doesn't wound like he's waking from/in pain but you should rule out any physical cause.  That would also include anythng like being too hot or too cold, although it sounds like you've checked that already.

Given the time of the nap and the length of it though I suspect that his nap is too early and by the time he goes to bed he is overtired.  I would try a bedtime at least 30 minutes earlier at least for a few days because he'll have some cumulative overtiredness. If he starts sleeping better at night, slowly start pushing his nap back in 15 minute increments--when you do that also start pushing the bedtime back in 15 minute increments toward his normal time of 6:45.  You should aim to have a morning A time slightly longer than the pm A time--what works best varies from child to child and how much sleep they get and when-- but if the nap stays at 1.5 hours you will probably need at least 5.5 to 6 hours of morning A time and 5 to 5.5 hours after nap.

[Dairy Queen]

Hi there,

Day 1.  He spent an hour talking to himself at 4:00 am last nght, but then went down on his own and slept until 7:30am.  I then put him to bed at noon.  I realize that AM Activity time is still longer than PM,  but he kept yawning and ruibbing his eyes, so I put him down and he slept for 90 min.  So... you're saying that I should adjust my routine to:

6:30 wake
12:00 - 1:30 nap
6:30 bedtime

Oddly enough, he only went to bed at 8:00pm (and I fed him an extra 5 ounces of milk, after the usual evening breastfeed), but slept right through to 6:00am.  I will try putting him to sleep at 6:45pm with the extra bottle of milk tonight and see how it goes.  I am terrified of putting him down at 6:00pm and having him wake at 5:00am, ready for his breakfast!

DS has been on 1 nap for over a month, but does not show signs of fatique during the day... I was actually suprised to read that your DD nw's where related to lack of sleep.

Thanks for the advice