you see, you can not expect her to go to bed happily at 8pm if you start your day at 9am! it would not even be 12 hours between wake up in the morning and bedtime.
if you're aiming for an earlier bedtime, start getting her up earlier.
I'd try 7am wake up time as she eats at 7 anyway as you say. so feed- activity- sleep after 1:15/1:30 hrs.
so you would actually have to change your whole routine but it's worth it if you want your baby to go to sleep earlier and not overtired.
from 5pm to 11pm it's 6 hours
so she most definitely is way way too overtired to sleep properly at night too.
oh, and it's perfectly normal she doesn't want her feed at 9am as she has just had one 2hrs earlier.
7am feed
8:15/8:30 sleep
10am feed
11:15/11:30 sleep
1pm feed
2:15/2:30 sleep
4pm feed
5:30 sleep
6pm activity- bath, wind down, book
7pm feed [formula]
7:30pm bedtime
8pm asleep
I think that would be a routine you could aim for. without DF you can still expect some night feeds, especially that she is breastfed.
how do you think?
Monika