HELP - 6mo resisting his naps

[tav]

Hi I'm new to this website.  I'm not sure what to do with my 6month old son.  He was very good but over the last few days although he is tired he fights his naps.  He's happy to play in his crib for a while and where he used to settle down and just put himself to sleep he is now starting to whinge (mantra cry) which then escalates into actual crying.  He's on a four hour EASY and this (roughly) is what his routine used to be like:

0700 Wakes up
0730 Breakfast
0900 Nap
1115 Wakes from nap
1130 Lunch
1330 Nap
1500 Wakes from nap
1530 Dinner
1700 Catnap
1815 Bath
1900 Bottle then bed

I initially thought that maybe I was putting him down for his nap too early but he was clearly overtired when I waited longer. 

The other thing he has started doing is getting his head into the top corner of the crib and the bumper over his head (so he's hiding behind the bumper).  This works in the mornings because he wakes up and starts playing but for his naps it's a killer!  And he's started waking up in the night in that position with his head in the corner. Any suggestions on how I should deal with this other than to keep getting up and repositioning him?  Also, how long should I leave him doing the mantra cry?  He was doing it for an hour and a half a couple of nights ago.....   My husband ended up picking him up a few times and then he settled.

He's very active and moves around well (chases his toys, etc) so I know he's making good use of his activity time and when he's tired he also just stops playing and just lies there or sits there looking at me but when I put him to bed he takes a long time to fall asleep and when he does eventually sleep he wakes after about 30/45mins.

I need help!!!

[KathrynK]

hi there
I actually think looking at your routine he's having too much daytime sleep and needs more A time- he's not tired enough which is why he is crying when you put him down, and why he's taking ages to go to sleep at bedtime.
Although you say he is showing you tired cues, at this age many babies start to show what we think of as tired cues when they are bored. Rubbing eyes and turning head away are classic signs of boredom in older babies. This might be what's happening with your lo.
Many babies of this age are happy to stay awake 2.5 hrs between naps, and some even longer. Most have 2 x 90 min naps and 1 x 30-45 min catnap. I see your lo has a massive long morning nap- this could be the cause of your problems.
At 6 months our routine looked like this:
7am wake
9.15am nap
10.45am wake
1.15pm nap
2.45pm  wake
5.15pm nap
5.45pm wake
7pm bed
You can see our longest A times were the 2 stretches in the middle of the day- this has always been the case for dd. Most babies have their shortest A time from first waking till first nap. You could try still putting him down at 9am as you do currently, but perhaps waking him after 90 mins. He might not be able to go from 2 to 2.5 hrs of A time in one go, you might need to stretch him say 5-10 mins per day. Some babies can handle the jump, you know your lo best and whether he will cope.
Also you don't say how long your catnap is at the end of the day- certainly I wouldn't let him sleep for longer then 45 mins as that will definitely impact on bedtime.
As for him wriggling in his sleep, dd used to wake when she first started moving around. I would let her whimper and get herself back off to sleep and only go in if she definitely cried. As a result she quickly learnt to reposition herself by wriggling around, and we had no more night disturbances. (I have a friend who always repositioned her son- and she was still having to do that when he was 3yo as he'd never learnt to do it himself- aargh). If he is playing with the bumper, you could just take it out for the time being. This was the age when I took all of dd's toys out of her cot as she would just play with them and not go to sleep. Perhaps you could just put one back in overnight so he can play in the morning?
hope this helps, & good luck!
kathryn x

[tav]

Hi

Thanks for the advice.  His bedtime sleep is great - he just lies down and falls asleep.  I did wonder if he needed to be awake longer before his naps but then he still cried and cried.  Today has been much better - not as much crying before his nap this morning which was at 0930 (but he woke up at 0630!!) and I've just put him down at 1330 and he settled himself.  I wonder as well if my being in the room distracts him....it's hard to find the right balance of not leavingtoo quickly but not staying too long.

As for waking him after 90 mins - I wish he'd stay asleep that long.  I'm getting 30mins at the moment.  And I'm trying to get him to go back to sleep with the shh/pat and PU/PD but it isn't working.  I'm seriously hoping that if I keep persevering it'll eventually work!

I try to leave him in the night when he gets himself stuck but then he escalates into crying and wakes up.  Last night I had to get up twice.... he's just not that interested in rolling back to front... and he's never liked sleeping on his back. Maybe when he does the back to front roll more easily he'll just reposition himself?

[KathrynK]

hi there
you are probably right and being in the room is stopping him getting himself to sleep- he is at the age where your presence is starting to be a distraction when he wants to go to sleep,  rather than a help. I do dd's windown (book, nappy change, quick cuddle) and the minute she's in her cot I'm out the door.
Why was his first nap was at 9.30 today when he woke at 6.30? Did you have errands to run? Or was he just not tired? Some babies can handle 3hr awake time at 6 months, maybe he was more tired and ready for sleep which is why he went down so easily.
Your routine you posted had 2hr A times and long naps but in your last post you said he's now doing 30 min naps. Can you post an outline of your current routine? He's either overtired with too much A time or not tired enough to sleep for very long- let's have a look at your timings and see if we can tweak it to help him.
With the rolling the thing to do is to practise it as much as you can while he is awake and playing- the quicker he masters it the quicker you will get your good nights sleep back!

[tav]

The routine I posted is the one that was working up until the beginning of this week.... he suddenly changed things.  I wanted to put him to bed earlier than 0930 this morning but he just wasn't tired.

Maybe he's just changed and needs more activity and less naptime as he's growing.... he's a great eater as well... I'm confused - just when I think I've got things sussed he changes the rules!

[KathrynK]

I'm confused - just when I think I've got things sussed he changes the rules!

trust me, you are not alone!
Definitely sounds like more A time is the key. Most babies need their A time increased gradually by 5 mins or so each day. Not my dd, oh no- she went from 3hr 15 one day to 4h the next and I was completely confused! Maybe your little guy is the same and is just trying to tell you he's ready for more.

[tav]

He woke up at 1410.... didn't cry though - just played and started calling out about 10mins ago. No chance of him going back to sleep - he was wide awake. I'm going to practice rolling over with him now... maybe with 3hr activity time he'll at least take his naps.... and maybe that's why he just goes to sleep at bedtime....

So his routine should be
0700 Wakes up (on average)
0730 Breakfast
0930 Nap (hopefully he'll sleep for 90mins)
1130 Lunch
1330 Nap (hopefully 90mins)
1530 Dinner
1700 Catnap
1800 Bath
1900 Bottle and bed

What do you think?  It's not vastly different from my old one (that Matt's jut thrown away) but it worked okay today. 

Also - how long should we leave him doing his mantra cry before we intervene?