Night Wakings-Playing not Crying

[lilyfrog60]

My 17mo son had serious sleeping problems in the first 6mos but we eventually got them worked out and he became a pretty good sleeper.  A few months ago, he began waking at night SCREAMING bloody murder.  We got through this period by going in and comforting him for a few minutes then putting him back down.  Then he would play for a bit (occasionally up to an hour) and go back to sleep.  Then I thought everything was fine because he wasn't screaming anymore.  The other night I couldn't sleep and at 11pm I heard him wake and start playing.  This lasted for almost 3 hours.  I give him two stuffed animals and a blanket and he has a FP Aquarium.  He throws his animals and blankets out, plays with his aquarium for a bit then talks to himself for the last couple hours.  Since he's not crying I don't think I should go in because that WOULD make him cry.  I'm not exactly sure how long this has been going on because when I am asleep I don't hear much (I have to turn his monitor up loud for his crying to wake me).  Last night my husband accidentally woke me up at 4:45am, and my son was babbling away. 

So I know most parents would LOVE to have night playing instead of crying, but he's still not getting the sleep he needs.  It's messing with his naps.  He needs one by 11am, wakes 2-2.5 hours after going to sleep (which sometimes takes an hour of playing), then is ready for sleep around 4:30 5:00.  If I put him down then, bedtime will be incredibly late.  We are having more and more tantrums (yes, he is a toddler, but things he normally could handle set him off).  I have never seen mention of this in any of the books I have.  I feel very lucky that I have such an independent child that he can entertain himself, but not at 2am!  Any suggestions to help me solve this would be appreciated!

[Layla]

What time do you put to sleep for the night? Your lo might be overtired if he is waking at night and is up for 3hrs (and also waking at 4:45am).

I personally wouldn't have the aquarium in the cot. Soft toys in my opinion are ok but toys that produce light and noises I think are too stimulating and might be keeping him up (again, just my opinion).

At 17months, his nap should be more or less in the middle of the day, so I would try to bring it forward to 12pm. I think though that you should bring the bedtime forward (maybe make it 6.30 or even 6pm) for now to allow him to catch up on some sleep. I wouldn't let a catnap at 5ish, try to keep him awake until 6 and give him a super early bedtime.

hth
Layla

[dkjokisch]

I agree with pp on the aquarium.  To a certain extent it is normal for kids to wake and chatter in the middle of the night as they go through spurts of verbal development.  However, three hours a night for more than a night or two will definitely result in an overtired kid.  It would help if you could post your routine.

[lilyfrog60]

I just recently put new batteries in the aquarium as it had not worked for quite some time now. I have the lights and motion switched off and have it set on ocean sounds.  He has figured out how to change the music but not the mode (lights and motion).  It has actually helped a great deal in getting him to bed.  We do our nightly routine and then I ask him if he wants to push the night night button.  He likes pushing it and then I say goodnight and am able to leave without tears.  So I am reluctant to get rid of it.  I might consider using a CD instead and letting him push play as the night night button.  That's a possibility. 

Here is our daily routine (when it goes well and he isn't incredibly overtired):

7:30/8:00 wake and have cup of milk
8:30/9:00 breakfast
11:00 lunch
12:00 nap (unless he is overtired I do a snack at about 10 and nap after which is where I run into evening trouble because he's ready for another nap)
2:30/3:00 wake have cup of milk
3:30 snack
6:00 dinner
7:00 up to bed and in bed by 7:30 at latest

I don't do a bath every night.  He has dry skin problems and honestly I don't have the time and energy.  We do a bath every 2-3 days.  We do this after dinner around 6:30 or so.
Of course, the routine doesn't happen perfectly every day especially lately since he's been tired and more cranky.  He definitely isn't always cranky but I can tell a difference.  And a lot of times it takes him and hour or so to go to sleep at nap or bedtime. 

I think I will try moving dinner earlier and getting him in bed 6/6:30, so that he falls asleep closer to 7.  Thanks so much for the replies!  If anyone has any more suggestions or ideas on tweaking our schedule please let me know!!

[Layla]

Sounds like a good plan - an earlier bedtime has always helped in our case. YOu don't have to get rid of the aquarium straight away - you could always do it slowly, like press the button but then take it out of the cot? Or like you said a cd player.

You don't have to do a bath every night. As long as his evening (like the last hour before bedtime) is not too stimulating, I think thats fine. Is Isabella watches tv in the evening, I have it switched off by 5.30pm, otherwise she gets too hyped up and has trouble falling asleep.

[dkjokisch]

That sounds exactly like our schedule except we eat dinner closer to 5pm, and bedtime is 8pm.  I would try to keep naptime as close to noon as possible (+/- 1/2 hour) even when you're having a rough day just for the consistency.  And I agree with pp on the aquarium - can you leave it in the room, but not in the crib?