Never a full nights sleep, one year on and pregnant again :-/

[Sylvansmam]

Hi all, I am totally new to this board and am wondering if anyone can help. I am sure i should have tried to find a similar thread but i am so frazzled and have so little time, ds is having a wee nap now so i have all but a few mins.

Here goes:

1 year old boy, generally good child who was breast fed til ten months (then i found out i am pregnant again right!)

Seroius AP habits developed over the early months, bf to sleep, started waking once or twice a night, progressed to multiple night wakings, we are now trying to row  back a bit.

BUT, he is teething at the moment. So this week, he has been waking every half hour/ 1 hour.

The husband has a very stressful job and i am the saty at home mum so we decided that i do the majority of getting up at night but i have rotten pregnancy sickness and have no energy to do PU/PD. When i have gone into him on nights this week, i usually distess the child by running to the bathroom to throw up half way through.

Though i am usually good at doing PU/PD and baby adapts quite well to it, Success varies, he might wake again after 20 mins frustrated out of his mind.  on the occasions when DH goes to him on his night wakings, he shoves a bottle in his mouth to shut him up. With varying success.

Day time is handy enough, goes to naps ok, naps for a 45 min stint in the morn, then 1.5 hours in the afternoon. He has been whinging a bit more these days but this i assume is due to being a bit teethy and tired.

Enjoys activity time, I spend a good bit of one on one time reading him stories at quiet times and playing music with him when he feels more active, or letting him bang drums, explore or we go out for walks or into town to do erands.

The only time he kicks up and goes mental is when i try to put his fresh nappy on or put him into the car seat, apart from this all is fairly well.

He goes down to sleep fairly well, mantra cry and then wakes at 11 or twelve for a dream feed. i am afraid to knoxk this on the head just yet.. Then the wakings could be every hour til five or six or they could be at three and five. All depends on whats breaking through the gums.

We try not to give the child pain killer for the teeth but did last night and it knocked him out- literally- til half six. Dont trust that stuff, it seemed scary it was a generic over the counter drug, a combo of paracetmol and anti histamine designed for teething babies.

If any of you have any ideas, please let me know, to be honest I am dreading adding to our brood and i would love to feel less sick and tired with this pregnancy. Myself and DH could kill each other one of these nights so your advice could save a marriage too!

[Colesmom]

first off, huge (((hugs))) to you.  I don't have a lot of time right now, but I know people will ask to see your schedule (typical wake time, naps times and bedtime)...to see if overtiredness is an issue.

Also, I wouldn't be afraid of OTC drugs...i've read a lot of moms using paracetmol (similar to tylenol here) and it's safe!

sorry i can't say more, but it's time for me to leave work...yes, i'm at work

[binxyboo]

Could you pst your average daily routine, with naps etc.?

I also would not hesitate to use pain meds if your lo is in pain. We use the Hylands homeopathic and Tylenol.

[shanaz]

Hi Sylvan'smam - Are you in the UK?  I use calpol or calprofen when my dd is teething and I've even used medised (lightly sedating) when she's had a bad cough/cold so don't worry about using pain meds when needed.

I've got a quick message, I kept the dreamfeed up for quite a while too but actually found that it was contributing to nightwakings, once we phased the DF out, she slept a hell of a lot better.  Just a thought.  Perhaps starting weaning him off it (it takes about 10 days anyway).  If he does wake and seems to want the bottle, how about giving him water?  He may be waking out of habit/for comfort and when he realises that he's only getting water he may not be so likely to wake up fully.

Lastly, I just want to send you big ((((((((HUGS)))))))), you sound like you're having a rough time of it and if it's of any reassurance/help, they're a fab bunch on here, very supportive and full of useful and trustworthy advice.  Also, was your son born in March 2006?  If so, come over to our birth club (for babies born in March/April 2006) as there are loads of lovely mums with great advice too.  In fact, there's a birth club for all the months so find your relevant one if you think it would be helpful.

Shanaz

[Sylvansmam]

Its great to hear all your advice and i appreciate the support (and hugs!) , i have been reading through other posts now too and the board is great, its also wonderful to find out your not alone!!

Sylvan's schedule

6:45-7am- Wake up, 7 oz milk, bottle. Get's changed by dad and brought down for breakfast, plays

7:45-8:15- Eats breakfast, oat porridge, toast and drink

8.15-9.15- Plays, soils nappy, gets changed, storytime

9.15-9.30 Settles for morning nap  (Is it time to start cutting this nap??)

10.30- 11.30 Wakes, plays, snack(sometimes includes milk, he seems to be dropping these feeds as he tends to throw the bottle away!) at 11.30, plays some more/ go out . I must honestly ass that if i fall asleep here myself, we could both sleep til 11.30 happily.. eek!

11.30-1  Activity

1.00 -1.40 Lunch, Eats heartily

1.40-2.30 Activity including lots of whinging as he gets tired, i try and stretch him a little here to last til three

3.00-4.30 A very 'fast asleep, nothing will budge me' nap

4.30 5.30 Plays has a small snack (sometimes 3 oz milk included,) and gets ready for dinner, or go out shopping or to meet dad

6.00   Dinner, usually a bit lighter than lunch

7.00 Bath, bottle, wind down, sleep by 8

11 Wakes, but seems less inclined to be taking the feed of 8 oz now, just a few sips and rolls over to sleep. I think i should read his cues here and water it down or just cut it out. He will barely drink an ounce now...

Then wakes frequently through the night. We are not giving him milk any more, he cried a lot last night and rubbed his ear like crazy, he has a head cold so i gave him the dreaded otc med that DH hates so much (!? 'Are we poisening him?')
The child slept til wake up time thereafter- i honestly now think this waking is pain related as well as habit.

So would i be right in maybe editing his naps a bit, trying to cut the DF and being consistent with what we are doing at night..  ??

Thanks for your opinions and time!

xx ruth

[rinajack]

If it were me, I would work only on giving otc meds, and dropping the DF. Then you can see how the nights are going, and if there are still issues we can consider the needs to alter the daytime routine. Plus since lo is not well right now, those naps are probably invaluable - sleep helps them recover better.
I have helped people whose DF was disrupting the los night sleep, and when they dropped it, NW decreased dramatically.

[Layla]

Hi Ruth, I just wanted to suggest something about the 2nd nap. I think you should offer it earlier than 3pm & more like 1.30-2pm. He might even take a longer nap - 1.5-2hrs, which may help with nighwakings.

[Sylvansmam]

Hi rinajack,

Thanks for the advice. Sounds good.

Your cute dd is about ten days younger than sylvan and it looks like my baby number two is due at the same time as yours.

I think i am terrified at the prospect of becomeing a mum again and trying to manage two kids! Hopefully I can learn ro resolve some of the issues before he/ she arrives.

Cheers,

Ruth

[rinajack]

I often feel the same.  We didnt' have a great night last night, DD was overtired when I put her to bed because after more than 7 months of daycare she still barely sleeps there.  I am terrified of getting another spirited baby who thinks sleep is for wimps

Re the paracetamol.  I used to worry about giving it also.  But then my DH started to get a wisdom tooth.  He said it really hurt and was taking paracetamol, and even codeine, left right and centre.  He said, when she is teething, if she is hurting, relieve it for her!.  My Dr also said that paracetamol is a very safe drug. 

What is your Due date?  There is a thread in the pregnancy and childbirth area for people who have Sept/Oct Due Dates, there is quite a few of us, so if you want some support head on in there.

[SkylersMommy]

You could try Melatoinin, it's temporary to establish good sleeping habits/cycles.  My 14 month old girl never slept well but we're doing really good with the melatonin.

Good luck

[mari]

Sylvansmum, firstly welcome to the boards and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Where do you live?  I would ask the doctor to reassure you about medicines.  Paracetamol is widely used in the UK, as is Ibuprofen which I prefer for teething trouble, but I certainly use them rather than have them in pain.  Most medication should be used for no longer than 3 days before consulting you doctor.  Most pain lasts about that time, sometimes less.

Aside that, I would not start sleep training until you are sure that he isn't teething and his cold has gone (it could be an ear infection alongside the cold that is keeping him awake)
When you are sure that he is well enough then I would consider starting training to sleep indepentantly and be consistant, this is the most important thing.  Try to get your DH on board, I know that you say that he has a stressful job but being pregnant can also be stressful and if he is totally with you on this then it will be half the battle for you.
I would also drop the bottles, if he is getting enough food and milk during the day there should be no need for milk during the night, offer a sippy cup of water and leave it in the crib, tell him where it is and it won't be long before he will reach for it himself.

He might be ready to drop the nap, but I'm not sure really, there are too many other issues to rule that one out yet.

I hope this helps and you can get some sleep soon.

[JennŠ]

Just a thought: I would really caution against using any otc med/herb/whatever without checking with your doctor.  Some kids fall asleep with antihistimines (like in your teething med), but it may not be restful sleep.  Or it can wire them.  Have you tried just plain acetaminophen or ibuprofen?  I forget the UK names.  They might relieve the teething just as well without playing with the quality of his sleep.