Have looked for answers...but still need help

[TypicalNewMom]

Hi...

This is my first time posting, but I've spent as much time as possible in the last week reading other posts to try and gain some perspective.  I am at my wit's end and need some help. 

Brady is 4 months old and has had a bit of a spoiled life so far.  He was born a month early and at 8 days old he had a choking episode that left him not breathing and then admitted to the hospital.  He has always slept on someone, or in someone's arms because he was comfortable there (bedtime he slept in his pack 'n play at the end of our bed).  Matters only got worse when we left our home in Virginia in February to travel cross country moving on military orders.  We spent weeks with family, and he was never put down.  Our drive was rough for him, so in the hotels we always held him to nap.  Now that we are finally in our homein California, I am trying to establish a routine with him and he's gotten unbearable.

He was a great night sleeper until I started this routine thing.  I don't know if he is resisting the change or just doesn't need the schedule, but I do.  He is pretty spirited when it comes to sleeping during the day, but nights have always been great.  Up until EASY, the evenings would consist of a catnap, bath, food, and bed.  He started sleeping through the night at 2 months.  Now, he's up pretty much every hour.  (I should also mention that it's only been a week that he's been sleeping in his own room, in a crib). 

This morning we did great on EASY, after a rough day yesterday.  I took some tips on getting him through the 45 minute jolts, and it worked well.  He's on a three hour routine, even though I'd like him to be on 4. 

Our day was like this today -

4 am - feed (I'd like to get rid of this one, but not sure how)
4:30 am - sleep
6:15 - up (I should interject that he was up hourly last night, and in a desperate attempt to sleep, I brought him in bed with us)
6:40 - awake
7:00 - Eat
7 -8 - Activity
8 - 10 - Sleep
10 - Eat
10 - 11:30 - Activity
11:50 - Sleep (struggled for a half hour to get him to fall asleep)
1:15  - Awake & Eat
Activity
3:10 - Sleep (struggled again for a half an hour
3:40 - Wakes up, try shh/pat for 15 minutes, he wouldn't go back to sleep.  Was screaming and frustrated so I picked him up and rocked in the rocking chair. 
4:10 - Wakes up again when I tried to put him down in the crib - not enough sleep
4:15 - Eat
4:15 - 6:30 - Activity (would not go to sleep anywhere - swing, in my arms, crib)
6:30 - Wrestled him to sleep
7:00 - Awake & Eat
7:50 - Bath
8:15 - Wind down and bed

If you have made it this far, I appreicate it as I know this is long.

Brady NEEDS to be swaddled because his arms still flail around and he wakes himself up.  The stupid swaddle blanket we have has stretched out and he gets out of it very easily since the velcro doesn't meet up right.  I have remedied this by ordering The Miralce Blanket (which should be here Thursday). 

My questions are these:

Is it possible that he could nap too much during the day??  Are 3 1.5 hour naps and a cat nap enough to help him sleep through the night again?

How can I get him to drop the 4 or 5 am feeding (this is consistent even if he's slept through the night)?

How long and where should he catnap in the evening?

How long until I can get him to a 4 hour EASY?

Should I feed him more at bedtime?  I have never done a dreamfeed and honestly, I am not too far behind him when he goes to bed!

Usually his mornings will consist of waking between 4 and 5 for a feeding and going right back to sleep for another 2 - 3 hours.  Not so since starting EASY.

I should say honestly that patience is not a virtue of mine, and my nerves are frayed because of having to wrestle him to sleep for naps now.  He gets so upset that he kicks and screams and I have to hold him tight because he won't calm down.  I am trying so hard to work through these things but I don't know what else to do. 

If you could please help me figure out what the heck I'm doing wrong, I would appreciate it.  As it is, I am winding him down for a nap only 45 minutes to an hour after he awakes.  Today I spent half of his nap time holding him down and shh/patting him.  I have things to do myself and I'm finding it hard to get anything done.

Thank you for your help. 

[¤ Efka ¤]

There is definetaly have been lots going on for you LO so far.
First there is no easy fix here, sadly.
There is couple things you could try to do.
First move bedtime earlier. Like 7 in bed.
And before this keeping things low.
As far as nap times , I cannot say for sure, my DS at this age napped very badly too.

As far as cutting 4am feed, DF is one opinion.When he is sleeping by 7 , you could do DF at 10.

Catnap, should be before 5 , 5.15 at the latest and then about 30.

I would not move him on 4 hour EASY yet, as he is 3 months corrected, right? Little early in my opinion.

How did day go for you?

[rebecaq]

Hi there and welcome to the boards 

I think Erika has given you some really good advice. 

Spirited babies are really tough and consistency is better for them than for other babies. So I really want to encourage you to stick to EASY.  Since Brady has been accidentally parented for so long he is going to make his protests loud and clear. You know, I always marvel that it's so easy to create a bad habit and SO HARD to break it

I agree that bedtime needs to be at 7 or sooner if you could. And the catnap in his crib between 4:30 and 5. Once he wakes from the catnap try to keep things very low key and calm until bedtime. He should be napping and sleeping at night in his crib. He's definitely not used to it and needs to make the association that his crib is a good place.

You ask if he's napping enough, I do think 3 naps of 1.5 horus each plus a catnap is good for his age. The better they sleep during the day, the better they will sleep at night. As Tracy said "Sleep begets sleep" 

I also agree with Erika that 4 hour EASY isn't a good option just yet.

You may want to give the DF a try to see how he does. Are you BF? If soo you can pump milk and give it to dh and have him feed Brady at the DF and gice you time to sleep 

When he wakes at 4 try to hold him off for 5-10 minutes and then feed him. Once he can wait until 4:10 then scoot it 10 minutes more and so on until that feed merges into the 6:30 feed.

I hope I have been able to help some How did today go?

- Beca