Can patting become a prop?

[donna_issabella]

I have been able for the past 3 days to put ds down for his naps awake, walk out and he would fall asleep within 5 minutes. I have however, a 45 minute napper and i go in when i hear him stir to pat. Sometimes it works, and then i wonder whether he would have been able to transition himself. Sometimes he is too awake for it to work, so we go about our day as normal.

This am i tried w2s, but he still stirred and i went in and patted him, he slept soundly for another 40 minutes, result! However, for his second nap, although he had been yawning, he was a bit more tearful when i put him down, not upset, and cried when i left the room. It sounded like his mantra cry so i left him,but he did not settle. Perhaps overtired?

So i went in patted, when he settled, i left the room again. His eyes closes almost immediately when i start patting, so i stop immediately. Had to go in a second time, again eyes closed immediately. I left and it has now been 10 minutes and he is asleep.

My question is, can they become reliant on the patting and thus a prop? Especially as we pat at the 45 minute mark? His eyes are usually open at the 45 minute mark, but he closes them again, so could be that he isn't really awake?

Hope this makes sense.

[dtrias]

I cant answer for sure but I know i made the mistake of patting mine too long in a desperate attempt to get her to sleep.  She ended up needing it to keep her asleep so her naps would only last as long as I patted.  You can use patting for W2S but be sure to keep checking every few days to see if they still need it by not patting for a nap.  Also at this age many open there eyes in transition and yes they are still asleep.  Spirited or touchy babies might see something during this brief opening that wakes them so its important to block out stimulation.(put your hand infront)
Good luck and remember nap extension at this young age is very difficult.  Many get better with age so keep trying but dont beat yourself up about it.

[*Natasha*]

I used Shh/Patt to get my DD through her 45min nap and let me tell you it took about a week of doing this before she was able to get through it on her own.

[donna_issabella]

But did she then become more difficult to put down, needing Shh/pat?

My ds is becoming more difficult to go to sleep, instead of easier, i think. I used to put him down and 5-10 minutes later he would be asleep. Now he takes upto 20 minutes and does his mantra cry alot more.

[*Natasha*]

Sorry just want to clarify are you using Shh/Patt to get him to sleep initially or just to get him through the 45mins? Are you saying since using Shh/Patt he is taking longer to fall asleep for naps?
Could you post your routine?

[donna_issabella]

No, i rarely use shh/pat to get him to sleep. I might use it later in the day when he is overtired to calm him, and sometimes he then needs it to fall asleep, but touch wood so far i can still put him in bed awake many times and he falls asleep. i was worried though one day as i had to keep going in to settle him after putting him down, and that is why i was concerned that he might have become reliant on the patting to fall asleep.

Our routine is rather over the show with that he naps so poorly. I am aiming for a 7-7 day, but although i put him to bed at 650, he only falls asleep like last night at 720 - which feels like it is getting longer. Used to fall asleep within minutes. he doesnt need me to go in, he just fusses.

If i go in at the 45 minute mark and pat him, sometimes he is awake. He won't see me, just my arm dangling over the cribside. Would he not become reliant on my being there then always on the 45 minute mark? Do you start patting when they stir, or when they open their eyes and moan. Earlier in the week I waited for the latter, and it worked. butnot so yesterday or the day before. perhaps it worked due to his growth spurt? should i start patting earlier? i think i don't always start early enough, because i want to see whther he can do it by himself. but then again, if the patting won't become a prop, i would rather pat soon enough and get him to have decent naps, so our day can become more predictable. I have however heard from many moms that all the patting in the world didnt help. They just had to wait for their lo's to outgrow this phase. Your experience?

Thanks for replying.

PS our routine, i aim to wake up at 7, but the past few days he has slept until730, and as his naps are poor, ilet him sleep, as i don't know how his day will pan out. we aim for bedtime at 7. so i aim for a nap at 430/5pm so that he isnt too tired. i follow his cues to go to bed, and have found by having a winddown of 5-10 minute helps him relax so that he doesnt scream blue murder anymore when i wrap him.

his awake time is about 1.5 - 2 hours, depending. this has increased dramatically from about 2-3 weeks ago where he could barely manage 45 minute. i am not pushing it, it is just when he starts showing tired signs.

also at he had his 3 month jabs yesterday, so i think for the next few days i would be hard pressed to interpret anything, as i think he might be more sleepy, going by how he was after his 2 month jabs.

congratulations on the pregnancy! hope it goes well!!

DI

PS Sorry for the long post.