Naptime Nightmares

[sarahmom]

Hi there
I just need to vent and perhaps get some advice on my naptime nightmares...seriously, I dread it every time a nap is coming up.  My LO is 2 months old and sleeps FABULOUSLY at night...after a feed at around 8/8:30 he sleeps until 3/3:30, when I feed him, and he goes right back down until about 8/8:30am.  At bedtime and in the middle of the night he puts himself to sleep no problem.
Naps, however, are a different story.  He starts to cry as soon as he knows I'm putting him the crib, he flails and thrashes, and gets more and more upset.  IF (and its a big if) I can get him to settle enough to sleep, its rare that his naps last more than 45 minutes...and resettling is almost never successful.
As for our routine, I generally feed roughly every 3 hours, starting at 8/8:30.  I try to watch his tired signs for putting him to bed, and sometimes he can be awake long, others not.  Plus, if he only napped 45 minutes, it means that he's been awake almost an hour by the time he feeds again, which means he's falling asleep while he's eating...
Any advice...or at least commiseration!?!  I sometimes think I shouldn't worry about it so much since he's sleeping great at night, but he does need his day sleep too...he can get really cranky and worked up by the end of the day!

[KathrynK]

hi there
can you post your usual daily routine for us?

[sarahmom]

Here is our daily routine...if you could call it that.  The start times vary a little bit, but we're usually back on track with feedings, or close to it, by the afternoon

Wake, E - 8:00
A - 8:30
S - 9:00-9:45
A - 9:45-11:00 (sometimes I take him for a walk here and he gets a bit more sleep)

E- 11:00
A - 11:30 (usually just quiet time on my lap)
S - 11:45-12:30
A - 12:30-1:15/1:30
S - 1:30 - 2:00 - I try to get him to catnap in the swing or on me because he's getting so tired by this point.   It doesn't always happen!

E - 2:00
A - 2:30
S - 3:00 - 3:45 (maybe)
A - 3:45-4:15/4:30
S - possible catnap again around 4:30

E - 5:00
A - 5:30
S - 7:00 (maybe)

E - 8:00
S - 8:30/8:45 - sleeps till 3:00, then till about 8am

[KathrynK]

hi again
it's great that your lo sleeps really well at night- I too was blessed with a good night sleeper right from the start! But daytimes can be hellish when naps go all wonky, so let's see what we can suggest to help.
I think it's going to be a combination of working on extending those naps, and getting the right length of A time.
Firstly, he is still really tiny and so the maximum A time he can cope with is going to be around 1 hr to 1 hr 15 mins. (this amount of A time is average for babies this age- some need slightly less, some slightly more). This means he needs to be back in bed ready for sleep 1hr to 1hr 15 mins max after he woke. Any more then this and he is likely to get overtired very quickly, which means he will find it difficult to settle to sleep, and will probably cry like his world is ending, which is very upsetting for you! This then leads to a short nap, which means he gets even more tired, so the next nap is another disaster, and so on for the rest of the day!
So aim for 1 hr A times during the day. This does give you a very short window in which to feed him, you may need to juggle feed times a little until his naps are back on track, and you may find while his naps are short he sometimes has A times without eating, so you follow a kind of EASAS. This is common with short nappers.
For extending the naps, have a look in the FAQs for two threads called Teaching Sleep to Newborns and Young Infants, and  Teaching Sleep 3-5 months and the 45 minute nap. These have got some great tips for extending naps past the 45 min mark.
Bear in mind that the most important thing firstly is to keep those A times short so he doesn't get overtired- if he does then nap extending will be less successful.
hope this helps and sorry if I've rambled on!
kathryn