what to do when NOTHING works anymore?

[daybyday]

Okay...going to try and keep this brief (as I've posted about DS's sleep issues before)....

His NW has gotten better but we are still having EXTRA long bedtime battles...which I think are contributing to his Early morning wakes....

For ex...Tonight lights out at 6:45....asleep at 8:30pm! BUT he's in a bed and NOTHING'S keeping him in it...

I've tried PD..WI/WO  (which worked for awhile)...sitting at the door (which also worked for awhile), reward chart...etc... but now nothing...he will jump on his bed if I sit in the room....if I leave he runs out and takes off to different areas of the house and it turns into a game...

I have no one to help, DH works shift work and some nights DD acts up...(teeth/age) and needs resettling....and just going in to put her lullaby on he takes the opportunity to hide in "A" closet...(which one only GOD knows) By the time I find him he's in hysterics because he thinks he's funny....

what do I do...He will SCREAM if I try and keep him in his bed bodily....holding his hand is a game....A baby gate doesn't work...he's a houdini...good grief....DH said tonight...that kid is cracked! And I have to agree at this point....I worked extra hard today to wear him out...lots of fresh air...good food....decent nap! WTF?

6:30 rise
11:45 nap (1- 1.5 hours)
6:45 bed

HELP
~Marie

[binxyboo]

I feel your pain!

Riley has just been weird at bedtime lately. I can't put my finger on it, tonight he went to sleep at 8.30. He is 20 months, btw.

Our sleep total has really dropped over the past week or so 

[Katet]

I can understand the issues my 22mo is in a bed & it isn't easy (not like my ds#1)
comparing your routine to mine...
wake up 6/6.30
nap 12.30/1pm 1.5-2hours
Bed (stories at 7.30, asleep by about 8pm)
So in many ways I am thinking you may be putting him to bed to early.

My thought is let him hide & if he falls a sleep in the closet, let him... my ds, actually has chosen not to sleep in his bed for the last 2-3 weeks, he actually sleeps on the floor. If you play his game he sees it as part of the routine. KWIM
 
One thing we do A LOT is discuss what is happening, so when he has dinner we talk about how we will have a play (wrestling) with daddy, then it will be bath time. then during wrestling, we talk about how it is bath time & time to get dressed, then in the bath, next is time to get dressed & then stories, during dressing, stories & put into bed & THAT Mummy will sit for a while, but then she has to go out to say goodnight to his brother & he needs to stay in bed (started by leaving the door & walking straight back in & "thanking" him for staying in bed) now I can go out for about 3 mins, but have to go back, but gradually extending it.
HTH

[daybyday]

Kate...from dinner on I have been doing a run down of the rest of the evening...(ie: in 5 mins we will have bath...in 5mins out of the tub...blahblah...)

And I've also tried mommy will be right back I'm going to check on DD...and then EXACTLY the same, I turn around and thank him for staying in bed...but the minute my body leaves his site he jumps out! I go back PD and two steps from the bed he pops up...and the game begins...he does sommersaults on the bed (and I'm worried he's really gonna hurt himself...cracked his noggen on the head board two nights ago)...

I played with his bedtime a few weeks ago...had him winding down at 7:15, lights out at 7:45 and the first two nights he was asleep by 8:00...the third night he was up until 9, the fourth 9:15 and I thought WHOA...nip this in the bud and pushed it back.....

So I don't know...maybe I need to find the "perfect" time and I just haven't found it....*sigh*

Although...I do guess maybe I should just let him fall where he may...so to speak...closet...floor etc...I'm just worried about him waking DD....They've been doing that to each other too! One wakes the other...  

Thanks for your reply....Maybe I'll give that a whirl....I should go to bed...and stop thinking of the early wake....

[Katet]

Honestly he has no idea about 5mins, so you need to do a chain with we do this & then this.

But I do feel your pain... while we have bed & nap going ok, my issue is night waking & yes he wakes his older brother going in to "visit"

[Layla]

This might be a totally stupid suggestion but if you still have his cot could you put him back in the cot. You can try to lower it to another level (dh might have to DIY) or get a cot tent

Or like Kate said, just let him fall asleep on the floor or wherever he is "hiding" & you transfer him once he is asleep so that the novelty of playing will pass and hopefully he will eventually take to the bed or at least his room.

[M and N's Mom]

Could you put one of the child knobs on the inside of his bedroom door so although he could get out of bed, he couldn't leave his room and bother DD?  I know some people don't agree with this technique but it would keep him in his room while you did wi/wo.

[daybyday]

Michelle: Hopefully we'll get DS sorted out and maybe something someone suggests will work for Riley....*big breath* and a prayer!

Kate: We call it first and then! We have started the CONCEPT of mins lately...but YES you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT he has no idea...but we do say FIRST we have bath and THEN we have stories...I honestly appreciate what you have to say...Maybe I have to be more exaggerated or make more of a point of looking him in the eye and saying it...hmmmm

Layla: Not a stupid suggestion at all...BUT he was originally taken out of his cot because he can crawl in and out no problem and we were worried that he would do it and injure himself...DD is currently in it and he "visits" her sometimes when I've just put her down for a nap....Did I mention he is SPIRITED? And if I were to let him fall asleep on the floor I would probably have to leave him...He's such a light sleeper anything will wake him...he has NEVER been transfered successfully....*sigh*

M and N's mom: Tried that too! EVERY knob that walmart, toyrus etc sells...he mastered all in 5 mins or less....waste of money....climbs baby gates...already sommersaults, takes a RUNNING leap into bed at night when we go....

Gals...I'm really not trying to shoot everything down...just be honest! because I just DON'T know what to do....At this point we have a baby gate leaning between the hall and the living room so if he NW's and wanders he'll knock it down...that is my only line of defence!

please please keep thinking....You are an ingenius group and I do appreciate it! truly truly

 

PS last night asleep at 8:30 this morning up at 6:00am...there's got to be a correlation right?

[daybyday]

Stacy...LOL I do that with my clients...I guess I've been home with babies so long I "forgotted"....haha...thanks for the reminder....now to find time to do the pics since I don't have access to the program at home....maybe sweet talk a colleague...hmmmm good idea....

and your right baby gate in door would slow him down....so would door knob cover for doing WI/WO...that is true!

So do any of you think that putting DD into the pack n' play in our room would be bad for the time being? Their rooms are right next to each other but DS can scream LOUDLY!!!!!! and he interrupts her sleep enough...She's 7 months....Do you think it would create issues with her?

I'm at such a loss....and my frame of mind isn't helping....*sigh*

[mari]

I wonder if the pack and play might be an issue for DS.  Would he not get jealous?

I would go with trying him back in his cot again.  Be there with him, treat it like seperation anxiety and do GW.  Make him feel secure, perhaps he is playing up out of jealousy.  Just a thought mind.  I had to do reward charts with Nathan when Alex was 1 year old, but he was 4 so it worked well with him.

When he goes to sleep, does he sleep throught the night?  Is it just getting him to bed that's a problem?

[daybyday]

Mari...We had a lot of trouble with NW's...months worth...but that seems to be "better"....He's been sleeping decent through the night for about two weeks....

Will try GW again and I guess "go back to the beginning?"

[mari]

So sorry, It is so hard I know. My evenings are precious, but I do think that it could be back to basics for now but I bet that it will be a short problem for you.
Keep us posted and we are here for you when you need us as always.