15 week old - does she need me in the bedroom to get back to sleep?

[Bryony]

Hi, I wonder if anyone has any experience/suggestions!

My lovely 15 week old has always slept well at night - I always put her down awake and she goes to sleep on her own, and if she wakes in the night (when not due to hunger) she would shuffle around, talk to herself for a bit, and then go back to sleep without any intervention from me.  She sleeps in her own room, and until a few days ago, I slept in her room in a little bed to make night feeding (BF) more convenient.  Katie recently started sleeping through from 11 till 7 without a feed (yippeee!) and had done this every night for a week, so I figured it was time for me to move back in to my bedroom with DH.   However, since then, she has woken up every night, at 3:45am or (last night) 2am, absolutely inconsolable.  The first two nights I fed her (probably accidental parenting!), thinking maybe she was hungry, but there was no way she was hungry at 2am!!  It took me an hour or so of shhh/pat to get her back to sleep last night.

I am wondering if she had got used to the sound of my breathing when she woke up in the night and isn't used to me not being there.  I hadn't had to feed her or intervene in any way for a week, so it's not as though I was doing anything other than breathing!!

Has anyone got any ideas how to manage the transition from sleeping in her room with me there too, to sleeping in her room with me in my bedroom?  I don't want her to feel abandoned and certainly don't want to break her trust which is obviously very good in general.  However I would like to go back to sleeping with hubby at some point.  Does anyone have any suggestions?

thanks 

Bryony   

[Kimberly®]

Its possible this is whats happening. Did you leave the room gradually or just not go in one night?
If you left suddenly try going back in and go more slowly. Move the bed closer to the door over the course of a week or 2 untill its out of the room, this will ease the transition for your child.
Although keep in mind that at 3 months waking once a night for a feed is well within the norm. She may sleep through some nights, and yet need a feed others, or she may need a feed everynight, or she may not need one at all.

[Bryony]

Thanks Kimberley! 

I did move out "all in one go" - the single bed is already the opposite side of the room to Katie's cot, and right next to the door, so I couldn't think of any way to transition it to make it more "gradual".  There isn't room for a bed outside in the corridor and our bedroom is the nearest one to Katie's, so the only other thing I could do that's "in between" would be to sit outside her room all night for a few nights.  Not a prospect that fills me with joy, but I can do it if needed!

This morning, once I did get her back to sleep after her 2am wake-up, she slept till 7 without a feed so I am convinced it wasn't hunger that woke her up.   

I wondered about going to bed in Katie's room, and moving out at 6am, then 5am, then 4am etc to see if that made it more gradual for her. Do you think that might work?

Bryony

[Kimberly®]

that might work
as much as it might suck, maybe try a sleeping bag on the floore and moving closer?? not really sure what else, I never slept in DD's room, and she was only in ours for the first 6 weeks so she was a lot younger.
Experiment and see what works for your LO

[Bryony]

Hi, thought I would post the outcome of our deliberations!

DH and I discussed it and realised we were both a teensy weensy bit uncomfortable about leaving Katie on her own, when the UK SIDS recommendations are that LOs share a room with a parent until they are 6 months old.  So we figured that if we were not 100% confident, then Katie would potentially pick up on this, which would not help her confidence in sleeping in her room on her own.

So - it looks like I will be staying with her for another few months - then when she reaches 6 months I will do the gradual retreat thing if neeeded, and sleep in a sleeping bag on her floor, then slowly move it down the corridor a metre or so each night. 

I don't generally join her until 9pm, or sometimes not until the dream feed at 11pm, and I generally get up at 6am so that I can make up her reflux meds and get some breakfast before waking her up at 7am  - so she is getting some practice being on her own.  She's also in there on her own for naps. 

So I was back in her room last night, and she slept through the night again ;-)

In the meantime though I might sneak out for the occasional few hours cuddled up to DH....!

Thanks for the advice and suggestions

Bryony

[Kimberly®]

I hope that things work out for you then.
I'm from Canada, I've never heard of that recomendation about SIDS. Interesting things you learn everyday