29 month old boy fights sleep...was good, now very bad

[miche99]

Hello all. At 15 months we did the walk in/walk out technique and were very successful, after we  would put him in the crib and leave and he would just drop off to sleep alone. Now at 29 months we are having big sleep issues. We put him in the crib and he lays down, but then stands and cries as soon as we leave. I go in, tell him to lay down and that it is time for sleep. He lays down and I cover him...then leave, and he stands up and cries again...and the process repeats for hours. Another complication is that he has begun climbing out of the crib. If I wait too long to go back in (even less than a minute) he already has a leg over the crib and is beginning to climb out. I am at a loss of what to do. Next, hours later he is still as awake as he was to start, he won't even close his eyes to try, just pops right back up. He just watches me leave then stands up. He also yells no, and "i don't like my bed".  After hours, I end up cheating and stand there for a few minutes and he falls asleep. But he just won't give in otherwise. Do you have any advice for me? Should I just let it go for hours and hours and not cheat? or am I doing something wrong? Do you think it is time for a big boy bed?  I have tried offering a reward for going to sleep, that hasn't worked either. Please help!

[Samuel's mum]

How long are you planning on keeping him in his crib? Do you think he actually might be more comfortable in a bigger bed and that a new bed could actually be used as a positive step for a fresh start. I'm not the best person to talk as Sam actually hasn't been in a crib since he was about 14 months. But I have friends who made the switch before 3 and have toddlers in love with their beds who are so proud and excited about going to bed. Sometimes they get out of the bed, but it sounds like he does that anyway - the main thing is they have a real motivation for going to bed.

My other thought is what is his nap schedule because he actually doesn't sound particularly tired. Could he be napping too much or too late? When bedtime comes Sam honestly wouldn't have the energy for all of that . He dropped his final nap for good at about 2.5 or just before. I know everyone is different though and people do need naps later than this but perhaps he's having a long one?

It does sound as though there might be a bit of separation anxiety. A lovey might help if he doesn't already have one. Or a gradual removal method where you are still there while he falls asleep but nearer the door and one day just outside the door where he can still see you and one day just out of his sight but making a noise like rustling the pages of a book ('mummy needs to be out here because she needs to see her book' etc. You could obviously do wi/wo but if you think he is anxious the gradual removal thing might work more easily.

The reward for sleep is sleep itself! But you could do a reward for staying in the crib/bed.

[miche99]

Thanks for the reply!  I don't think it is a comfort thing for him, his crib is quite large. We have been thinking about a big boy bed, but we haven't made the leap yet. I was worried that would make the going to sleep even harder, but I worry about him climbing out of his crib and hurting himself right now. What age to people normally move their kids to toddler beds?
Does separation anxiety continue in kids this old?  It's like i just kinda feel like he is trying to get me to stay in the room, to get his way, and I don't want to give in and "accidental parent" or becomg a prop. You know?
He usually takes a real good nap. About 2 hours. He gets up in the morning around 6, then takes the nap about 12.  Then in bed by 8.  He goes to day care during the week and takes about 1.5 hour nap each day. I don't think he is ready to give it up, but  he just doesn't want to give in and take it!!  How can you tell they are ready to give it up?

[Samuel's mum]

I think the clue that the nap is ready to go is that night sleep begins to be effected - it gets later and later and bedtime is more of a struggle. Night sleep gets shorter. Just as an adult who was in a pattern of a big sleep in the middle of the day would find.

Just going by my friends I think around 2.5 - 3 is a common time for moving to a big bed. But if he's climbing out - that's usually seen as the indicator it's time to move. As you say he might hurt himself but also the point of the crib is now sort of lost. I think if he's saying he doesn't like his bed - it really might be something worth thinking about. A crib can be big but you can still bang yourself on it as you turn over at night.

Separation anxiety can definitely continue this old. I wouldn't think of this as him manipulating you - he loves you, of course he'd want you to be there. It's not about 'getting his way' - you make him feel safe and secure . If you don't feel comfortable with it and would like him to be more independent then of course use the wi/wo or gradual removal.

[cliffrose]

Hi all,
 
this is interesting, I am having the same issue with my son- everything worked fine, now suddenly it doesn't. i've also noticed that there are others on the thread with the same problem who have toddler of similar ages.

Do you think this is just a developmental stage?

elizabeth