Author Topic: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?  (Read 1369 times)

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Offline DavidsMomma

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Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« on: May 06, 2007, 17:22:36 pm »
We have been back at sleep training for over a week now.  Our first night back after illness was horrible, but David (17months) quickly caught on and started doing better.  Bedtimes are great, 1-3 WI's and the last few nights not even that.  But our NWings are getting worse!!!  I was wondering if I could get some help there...
The NWings have been getting worse almost each night and the last 2 nights, ugh, just so frustrating.  In a previous post I said something about the PD portion of WI/WO.  How does one stop that?  I tried at the first night and it was horrible tantrums, I went back to PD and he got better.  So at first I was thinking it might be ok to keep them in, since he is used to it.  The other thing was the paci.  I was putting it in his hand, then I went to taking his arm and putting it to the paci and sometimes I won't even do that (but that usually will make him mad.)  I think I just need to stop on this one and deal with it, he'll get it right?  I just need to commit on that one, it'll be a long night...  With that stated, do I need to stop the PD? 
Last night started about 1:30, 20 mins later 4 WI's, another 20ish mins 7 WI's, after that it was 15-30 intervals of 1 WI until 4!  Then WI at 5:30ish and again at 6, when I just went to get him up.  Oh, b/c of all the NWings, when he is waking at 6 (we want it to be 7), I bring David into my bed and watch weather/news, and what happens - we fall asleep!!! until about 7:30 b/c I am so tired (at least the last 2 mornings.) 
Is this all from a pacifier and PD?  So, a question about WI, should I only wait until an escalated cry?  David will mantra cry for a while and I haven't necessarily waited for him to become more upset (sometimes you can hear him trying to fake a more upset cry.)  Also, when I go in, I do PD (he is always standing), and cover up, could that be part of the problem, staying too long?
A few other thoughts...  Last week, we stopped BFing, he was down to 1 a day and wasn't always wanting it, so we went ahead and stopped one day when he didn't want it and he hasn't asked since.  Also, he isn't eating well right now (not the best eater, but really isn't now.)  Could all of this be contributing?
Oh, his naps are pretty good 12-2 or 2:30-45, I think he is sleeping better at nap time though b/c he is sleep so bad a night!  And he is settles himself for those too, usually 1 WI (which requires putting eveything back in the crib, PD and cover up, the WO) after he played for a few minutes. 

I am sorry this is so long, thank you to anyone who actually made it through my rambles. 

Kris

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Offline imsmum

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2007, 18:57:42 pm »
Not sure what advice to give--i did GW with dd, she had no paci so can't help with those!  Just a thought--when is he falling asleep at night?  The early bedtimes really worked wonders for my dd's night wakings.   

Offline mari

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2007, 19:34:06 pm »
Hi Kris.

I'm not sure about the naps, could you explain please?  what time does he go down and wake up? and what time is bedtime?

When you take him into your bed at 6am, then go back to sleep this could be confusing him, I know to you it's the end of the night, to him it means, 'If I keep waking her she will get me in there eventually'.  No matter how tired you are, you have to start his day when you get him out of the cot.
Consistency is the most important thing here, honestly, if you are not consistent then you will make more problems and it will only take even longer, so even though the nightwakings seem to be getting worse, you have to be stronger and more consistent than ever.  He will try very hard if he thinks that you will cave in the end, then all the hard work that you have both put in will be out of the window!
It is frustrating, I have been there.  Keep at it and dont give up, ever!

Offline DavidsMomma

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2007, 00:46:25 am »
Thank you both for your responses. 
Imsmum, bedtime is about 7 and I usually don't hear a peep from his room after I leave, so I think he falls asleep then.  If he has had a bad night before or naps is cut short, I do make bedtime earlier.
Mari, thank you.  I know I must be becoming an annoyance.  ::)  Last night was better, which made this morning better, he woke at 6:30 and we got up, no falling asleep after out of his bed.  As for naps, I was mostly rambling at that point out of frustration, I think.  He falls asleep on his own and I have him sleep until about 2:30 (sometimes all by himself and sometimes with my assistance.)  Question, if he wakes earlier from his nap, should I just get him up and go about our day or do you think I should have him go back down, which is what I have been doing?  We are aiming for a 2-2.5 hour nap.
I know I have been here (sleeping for toddlers) complaining and asking for help a lot lately, but I can't tell you all how much it has helped me, just to be able to relay/get out what is going on with DS.  I do not have any friends with children and no family or friends in the city we live in...
THANK YOU, thank you, thank you, especially Mari, for your patience and understanding!
Kris

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Offline mari

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2007, 07:40:31 am »
Quote (selected)
Mari, thank you.  I know I must be becoming an annoyance

Please don't ever think that.  We are here to help and will do for as long as it takes.
I will take a good look at your post and answer again later, taking Nathan to school now and saw your post and had to reply!

You can post as often as you feel necessary and will never be annoying!  Honest.


Offline DavidsMomma

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2007, 17:42:17 pm »
Thank you Mari for the reassurance.  It's just so hard being a mom and trying to figure everything out when you have no other person to talk to who can relate, is interested, or knows how to help.  And then I found you guys, you all have made me so happy and helped me regain some sanity!  I didn't mean to stray from the actual subject.  Oh and I don't want you to think I am having a pity party...
Back to the real issue, sleep or a lack of.  Well, last night was the best night we have had in a long time, 2 NW, first at 9:45 with 1 WI, and the next at 5:45!!!! with 1 WI, but then David woke at 6:10 and I got him up.  So, progress!  Here are my questions, I still do PD on WI/PD/WO, I know DS would freak, but do you think that I should stop?  Make it so he is doing it himself, relying less on me?  And the other question I asked from pp, if he wakes early from naps (which is about half the time), I always make him sleep longer, making the nap about 2-2.5 hours, should I just let him get up and not push the nap longer if it's less time and go for an earlier bedtime?
I am not sure I can say this enough, Thank you!!!!
Kris

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Offline mari

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2007, 17:50:40 pm »
Well, do you think that he sleeps better with a longer nap?  Go with your instinct and if he needs the long nap then push for it, if he doesn't need the long nap try for an earlier bedtime, give it a go and see how things turn out.

As for WI,PD,WO, I would carry on until he is sleeping independently, if you change tactics now then it will confuse him.  What are the cries telling you?  Are they saying 'I need you' or are they saying 'I need you to help me sleep'?  Listen to them and do what you think he needs.  It could be a moaney cry that is saying 'I want to get to sleep and I think I'm going to do it so don't come in please!!'  DYKWIM?
I know that it takes forever, but really, keep at it, it will be worth it.

Offline DavidsMomma

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2007, 19:09:03 pm »
I am gonna keep the nap as long as possible...  for my own sanity  :D 
 
He is waking now, literally, from his nap and refusing to go back to sleep...  of course...

Kris

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Offline DavidsMomma

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2007, 00:09:07 am »
I didn't get a chance to say so, but I will keep on and keep listening.  I swear he changes his cries on me and I have to relearn them on a regular basis.   :P 
Thanks for the input.  I'll let you know how things are going.
Kris

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Offline DavidsMomma

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2007, 19:00:11 pm »
Due to overtiredness, David got worse.  Then last night I put him to bed early, by 6:30 and he still had NW, 9:45 and 11:20, but slept until6:40!  So big, big, big improvement!
My question now is, do I contiune the earlier bedtime and if so, for how long?
Kris

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Offline mari

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2007, 19:31:50 pm »
Try not to let his bedtime be any later than 5.5 hours after waking from his nap.  That' what I do and it usually works, all though we do have a few cot parties before she actually falls asleep!

Offline DavidsMomma

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Re: Night wakings getting worse, how do I fix?
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2007, 00:46:36 am »
Thanks again (and again, and again, etc.) Mari!!!  I think we are so close! 

Now all I need to do is get up the courage to stop handing David his chupa (paci) in the night...   :o  I wonder how long that will take once I commit? 

Kris

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