13mo won't sleep unless in my bed now!!

[NatT]

Oh god......He has never slept through the night, i was perfectly happy with feeding him (diluted) formula 1x nightly, but over the last month he has been getting 5 new teeth including 4 molars, so the last 2 weeks when he was INCONSOLABLE and getting scarily so, i would put him in bed, and this was the only way he would settle, for the last 10 days he has woken up at 12 pm and wouldn't stop crying until he was in bed with me, I even tried shushing him for 2 hours one night, he settled in my bed (after an hour of wriggling around!!)
Then the night before last it was 10.30, (he projectile vomited at 10pm - had a bug that has been going around) so I felt sorry for him, he was so confused after a big spew, let him in my bed.  Tonight, I have been walking him around, in and out of his bed from 7.00 til 9.00, and he has only just gone to sleep out of sheer exhaustion - he wanted to ditch the cot completely and just come sleep with me.  My husband keeps throwing me filthy looks as if to say "gotta let him cry it out, that's the only way we'll avoid a divorce".

I feel like @*&#^@.    I am sleep deprived from the last 13 months, let alone the last 2 weeks.  He's not a good eater and has all but abandoned food for bottles at the moment.  Can anyone suggest SOMETHING!?!?

[yaya]

Oh sweetie, HUGS, sounds like ur having a really rough time of it. TBH, if he's unwell I would do what it takes to make him comfortable...then tackle the sleep issues.
If you are ready to sleep train, you need to decide what method you're going to use and stick with it, be consistent, be prepared for it to be really hard work for a few days. How was he perviously going to sleep?

[magda1461]

are u sure i didnt write your post???
my DD is exactly the same...but ive been accidental parenting and letting her in my bed for 2 monthsnow.
is he on 1 or 2 naps?
i have read traceys book again and am planning to start PD method this week. so let me know if u want me to write my experience and see if it may also be  a option for u.

some things i have noticed though at 12mths she went thru a growth spurt and wanted abotttle around 2am. she has stopped now though ...also the teeth esp the molars are pretty bad...

will he go to bed ok at bedtime in his own cot? if not u may need to work on this firsst. also does he nap in his cot during the day?

please dont go the /cio method it wont help not now..at 13mths they are very clever and i think he would just stress out more and youd have a even harder time...

since i am expecting #2 in 5 mths i have also made a conscious  effort not to walk or rock her anymore instead i stay with Bella in her room and let her hold my hand standing near her crib, if she starts to fuss or stand up i just do PD then WIWO, over and over.. she settles in around 15mins now..so maybe give this a try..also if she keeps standing or cries i say "its bedtime goodnight" and i walk out of the room but only for a few seconds then i come staright back in and lie her down ..

let me know how you are going/... hope any of this helps...hang in there!

[Layla]

Hi Nat!

Just moved this to sleeping for toddlers (since your lo is a toddler now  ).

Could you please tell me what his daytime schedule is like? HOw many naps & how long, bedtime, etc....

Layla

[NatT]

Don't go! Keep talking!!!! Last night was the worst he wouldn't go to sleep (in his own bed) until 9pm - 1.5 hrs late).  He woke up 1.5 hours later than usual and screamed - i mean SCREAMED until i put him into bed with me, or course then hubby ends up on the couch, and i end up feeling....i can't do CIO, i've done it before when he was 10/11 mths.  I nearly had a nervous breakdown and quit after 3 days, my husband kept it going and it took 5 days.  Then it lasted a week and he reverted back.  What have you been doing/what are you going to do ?  My little guy has horrendous food intolerances to everything and despite being a huge boy, hardly eats anything, his bottles have increased from 4 to 6 a day again now!
He has one nap for 1.5 hours.  This is in his cot, sometimes i use the car on a bad day

[Layla]

I'm not going anywhere . My day has just started and we'll help you find a plan

You don't have to do cio. Could you tell me the time of the nap? It coudl be that he is not ready for 1 nap so he might be extremely overtired and is hence fighting bedtime. Thats why I wanted to know the time of the nap. Most 13yos are not ready for 1 long nap so I would suggest you offer him a morning catnap and a longer afternoon nap

Could you tell me when his day starts??? Do you have a windown routine? Please don't let him CIO. There are much more gentler ways to help him out.

Post back

[Layla]

Lets say he starts his day at 7am, this is something i would aim for:

7am - wake for the day
10am - morning nap (wake him 45mins)
2-2.30pm - afternoon nap (this one will be longer)
7/7.30pm - bedtime

Here's a link to sleep training methods for toddlers https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0 & I would suggest you do the GW method because he has been allowed to cio in the past.

Do a longer windown routine so that he has a good association with bedtime. He is not fighting sleep to be difficult. He is overtired and doens't know how to fall asleep. Stay with him and help him get through this process.

I would cut out all the bottles/feeding at night. Have you seen someone about his intolerances?