2 year old having problems going to sleep (new baby arrived)

[joannaw]

Hi

I have a 2 year old boy (J) who has been an angel baby regarding sleeping and up until recently we would put him to bed at 7pm, he would talk to him self and sing in his cot for a while and then fall asleep until roughly 7am.  We now also have an 8 week old baby (L) who doesn't sleep so well and at night we have to spend quite a while settling him.  We have been spending a lot of time an effort to help J accept L and he is definately doing well with this.  However at night when we put him to bed he will be awake for up to 1 to 1 and a half hours and will constantly call out, and cry and when we go he is always ok.  Obviously he feels that he wants some attention too, so we go up every time he cries out (concerned also that he'll wake L up).  We've tried reducing his day time nap also and even putting him to bed half an hour later, all of which don't work.  My thoughts are that he sees us coming up to attend to L when he cries and J wants the same attention.  I just wondered if anyone else has any other advice that may help to keep my angel baby sleeping well (we all need at least one of them!)

Thanks

Tina

[yaya]

hugs sweetie...ur post made me panic a little...have a 19 month old and 1 due in 4 weeks
My suggestion: could u give him A LOT of extra 'just u and him' time in the day?
it does sound as though he needs more attention..sorry not to be of more help

[Layla]

Hi Tina,

Its very common for their sleep to be disturbed with the arrival of a newborn. I would try and spend as much time with him as you can during the day, include him when you are changing the baby's nappy (ask him to pass things to you) and things like that. He won't feel like he has to ask for it at night, iykwim.

If possibel I would also do a longer windown before nap and bedtime, again so that he is more secure. I wouldn't reduce his daytime nap or put him to bed later because it could be just as well that he is waking up from overtiredness.

Could you please post your routine.

[fifibobandmore]

When I had my DD my DS was 2 3/4 years old and he slept between 12-14 hours a night and was still taking an hours nap which he gave up a month his sister was born as he was about to start school but if he wanted to take a nap then I would let him cuddle up to me on the sofa when his sister was a sleep and I would cuddle him so he felt close to me and put him on his bed and give him a kiss on his cheek like I did his sister. He also enjoyed helping changing the nappy and at night they bathed together which I have now stopped as she is hitting him in between his legs until he is crying in pain and he used to and still does sing her twinkle twinkle little star before she goes to bed.

Reading this post has also made me think how the new baby I have soon is going to affect my DD as she is only going to be 2 2/3 years old when she becomes a big sister to her new baby brother and she has only been sleeping through the night now for 2 months

[joannaw]

Hi and thanks for the replies.  I've been trying to spend as much time as i can with him during the day, involving him in stuff with L such as nappy changes, bathing, and encouraging him to hug his little brother.  I know he is still struggling with his arrival and so we try and give J extra cuddles and kisses and tell him we love him lots.  Last night he went to bed at 7.45 (we were just running late with everything) and he went straight to sleep, but we can't do that every day otherwise we'd be eating our dinner too late (there are limits!).  Once L settles more i'm hoping that will help J - L has colic and so has been crying a lot and needing more attention (we're due to have a second appointment with the oesteopath for that, which has already helped a lot).

I think the main thing will be 'time' and just constant reassurance (and sleep....)

Thanks again

t x