Can't take much more of this

[yaya]

 >:(For the past 3 weeks or so DS has gotten increasingly  difficult at all meal times, U have tried to ride it out hoping it was a pahse but it's getting worse and it's driving me insane. he seems disgusted by all the things I offer him even those he has previously loved. I cannot stress how much this scenario drives me round the bend: prepare meal loving, sit down to meal , begin feeding, a few bites go ok but with a pretty discgusted look on face, spitting begins , followed by screaming....meltdown

What the heck is going on??? and what shall I do, i'm really trying not to show my irritation as he seems to get worse when I do making me think there's an attention element to it? he clearly gets a lot of attention by behaving like this.,
trying new meals hasnt helped either.
shall i offer a meal then if he refuses take it away? I have tried offering a selection for him to chose from, he loves the chosing then loses interest in the meal
I just don't know how to handle this and it is really stressing me out

[¤ Efka ¤]

Dont be stressed, its no good and no help.
I believe that kids wont let themselves to starve, is it maybe too hot there and he wont like to eat then?

[* Paula *]

Michelle, I agree with Stacy.

We went through a phase where Thomas refused to eat his meals, and all he wanted to do was have snacks.  We did exactly what Stacy said, and offered him his food, if he refused we let him down, and took his food away.  He would have a yogurt as normal before bed, and would not have any dinner at all.

This went on for about 3 days of doing the above.  He would wake up in the morning starving and eat 3 weetabix cause he was so hungry.  But on the 4th day, he finally realised, and ate his full dinner.

We still have the odd day where he refuses, and we just let him down, and don't give him anything until the next meal.

I agree, that they do not have the capacity to starve themselves.

Does Thomas feed himself, or do you feed him?

Hugs

Paula

[taygensmom]

I agree if he refuses end the meal and respect that. But personally I would then not offer anything else until the next meal/snack, and then just try again. I would also look at your schedule to make sure that he is not "snacking" during the day and that there is at least 3 hours between each meal/snack. My LO eats at 8:00, 12:00, 3:00 (snack) and 6:00. He gets milk with meals/snacks and water in between. Often if kids get milk in between or mini-snacks they will refuse meals, as they are not that motivated or hungry to eat. Children have very small stomachs as well, so I keep all snacks very small. This way my LO is truly motivated to eat meals. If he refuses, I respect that and just try again at the next meal with whatever we are eating. i don't offer alternative foods or "short-order cook" for him, as many LOs will then refuse all meals and just wait for the foods they want at that moment.

[waffler]

Mira was/is a picky eater too. I mean, I understand what you mean about the disgusted look on their face! I was so upset one day, that I just ignored her all day because I was furious. then I thought oh what the hell. I do have a few foods that are my foolproof things (home made fish fingers, toast, yoghurt). And I just try to sneak in the stuff she won't eat by distracting her.

Some things I found that have kinda worked over the last couple months (although Mira is 5 months younger than your LO so not fullblown independant toddler yet!) :
- She has a toy gecko that hangs about on a spring around the dining table. I let Charlie (his name) eat her food, and she wants to feed him, then she feeds herself. Seeing Charlie interested in her food kinda makes her want to eat her food.

- For the healthy fruit and veg - every other day or so I juice up fruit and veg and give it to her in a cup with straw.

- I really try the distract thing. Current tool : I give her an empty kitchen roll tube, and show her how to make her spoon disappear and then reappear ... and while she's doing this she allows me to feed her. 

- ENcourage her to feed herself. I go wild with the applause and she really digs it.

- I used to also lovingly prepare food, and it upset me so much. I now have about 4 options. That's it. And they're all easy stuff. One of the 4 is "experimental" and if she doesn't eat it I don't sweat it.

I think, the main thing is, I stopped stressing, and that really helped me to not get upset. Also, I found sometimes eating out, she thinks it's so fun and eats more. Maybe a change of scene?

What my sis did with her same aged LO, was to actually put him on a picnic rug with a selection of food, cutlery and just let him choose and have fun with the food.

It's SO SO SO stressful and upsetting, but it's true what PPs have said, they won't starve. Also, some stuff I introduced that she hated, i re-introduced it a month later and she'd eat it. Mira also has a little kiddy table and chair that I place her in to eat her snack when she wakes up from her nap, and eats every morsel.

I dunno. These are all just ideas I'm throwing out. Something will end up working for you for sure. good luck and take a deep breath x

[yaya]

thanks for all your suggestions guys..very much appreciated. Today hasbeen a little better, i think his reflux may have been playing up as i gave him some meds this am (we are trying to wean) and he ate better...may just be a coicindece, will keep u posted