1 Year Old Waking For Help Getting Back to Sleep- HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!

[Preston's Mom]

  My 1 yr old just celebrated a birthday about 3 weeks ago and still isn't walking, however, the last 1 & half he has been waking up and wants me to help him get back to sleep. He's been on BW routine since he was 8 weeks however, he have NEVER been a good sleeper.  I weaned him off BF around the same time he started waking at night.  I have recently re-read the BW book to try to find some suggestions on what to do.  My DH and I are sleep deprived and desperate for help.    :'(I should note that we got in the habit of rocking him until he got sleepy before we put him in bed.  Most of the time when he goes in & out of sleep phases, he will "rock" himself back to sleep by rocking back & forth with his head down using his knees.  I know we have been accidentally parenting  but now we need to help him so he can put himself to sleep without our help.  Another question is knowing when to put him down so we aren't starting habits? 

Please help!

[Layla]

Hi there, could you please post his routine? What time he wakes, napsm how many and how long (and what time) and bedtime

Layla

[webfoot]

Well I have lots of questions too about the sleep routine. But ALL of my kids were like noise sensitve at 9-15 months and it took me 3 of them to finally have and "ah ha" moment and put a box fan in the room I bought a 9" x 9" at walmart, it took up no space, stashed it on the  ledge I'd make dh hang for all those pictures hanging out on our hard drive. LOL... My third born just needed some background noise. Those things ROCK.... try it, I bet it makes a huge difference. We live in a new neighborhood and if you pause and listen it's so loud! I actualy have found myself shutting the window b/c the construction is so just loud! Those box fans do amazing things.

Try it.

[Preston's Mom]

Here's the routine:
6:30 AM   Wake up and feed
7:30 AM   Arrive at babysitter
10 AM      Morning Nap (1 ½ or 2 hour nap)
11:00      Snack   (solids)
11:30      Activity
  1:00      Lunch (solids)
  1:30      Activity
  2:30      Nap
  4:00      Snack (solids)
  4:30      Activity
  5:45      Dinner
  7:00      Bath
  7:15-7:45   Bedtime

[Layla]

Hi, thanks for posting your routine.

You really need to try and cut out all the rocking to sleep. I would do rocking as windown but the last step should be replaced with a song or something so that he is in the cot awake. If he starts crying I would do pd or wi/wo. I also think he might be having too much daytime sleep. Is he sleeping 1 1/2-2hrs in the morning and 1 1/2 hrs in the afternoon. He could be heading towards the 2-1 transition and hence waking up at nigt cause he is sleeping too much during the day. In which case, I would maybe limit the morning nap to 1hr.

Here;s the link to sleep training methods for toddlers: - https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

He is probably waking up because he is used to being rocked to sleep. There might be a few hard nights and crying when you stop this but it will be worth it in the end'

Good luck & keep us posted
Layla

[Preston's Mom]

Thanks so much for your suggestions!  I know that we HAVE to stop the rocking!  I will be out of town for a week at the end of this month and I hope that DS will be sleeping better by then so my DH can get some sleep while I'm gone!  I put the wrong info on his schedule...he takes two 45 min naps during the day at the sitter. 

Here's the routine:
6:30 AM   Wake up and feed
7:30 AM   Arrive at babysitter
10 AM      Morning Nap (45 minutes)
10:45      Snack   (solids)
11:30      Activity
  1:00      Lunch (solids)
  1:30      Activity
  2:45      Nap
  3:30      Snack (solids) 
  4:30      Activity
  5:45      Dinner
  7:00      Bath
  7:15-7:45   Bedtime

We had vistors in town for the holidays so he slept in his playard and slept pretty good, only got up once, however, the first 2 nights back in his bed were terrible because he got up 3 or 4 times. .  This past Friday - Sunday was better, but he still wakes at least once a night. 

THanks for the link for the training methods, my DH and myself are concerned that he starts crying when we walk out and don't want him to feel abandoned, so can you explain how to count and confirm that we aren't letting him "cry out" if we don't immediately go back into DS room as soon as he starts crying?   

Some nights he starts playing in his crib (standing up & falling down on his bottom) & laughing & does this as long as I'm standing by the crib, but the minute I leave the room, sit on the floor by the crib or sit on the bed in is room he starts crying.  Also (last thing)  what should I do when he does wake up in the middle of the night crying...I try to get him to lie back down, but sometimes he fights me so much and I P/U and immediately P/D, but then he rocks himself back to sleep or he if he can't get back to sleep he sits up for me to rock him by pushing his bottom (rocking him). 

Thanks again!

[Layla]

Hey there. If he's taking a short morning nap, the afternoon nap really needs to be earlier than 2:45. On a 45min morning nap, his A time should be around 3-3.5hrs before the afternoon nap, so maybe if she puts him to sleep at 2-2:15ish, he wouls take a longer nap. If not, I would do an earlier bedtime (like 6/30 the latest) so that he at least gets more rest at night.
Does the nanny rock him as well?

THanks for the link for the training methods, my DH and myself are concerned that he starts crying when we walk out and don't want him to feel abandoned, so can you explain how to count and confirm that we aren't letting him "cry out" if we don't immediately go back into DS room as soon as he starts crying?   

Wi/wo is nothing like CIO. With cio, you leave them sobbing until they pass out so that is total abandoment. With wi/wo, you keep coming back so you are reasurring them that you are not leaving them, that you will be back and at the same time teaching them they have to fall asleep. So you would wi, assure him its ok and to go to sleep (you can put him down if you wish) and leave (start counting to 5). If he's crying at the end of the count, go back and reassure him again and leave (count to 10). If he's crying at the end of that count go back again and repeat.... IF he's not crying then leave him to fall alseep. When you are there in the room, he's not going to sleep is he? He's up and down playing and putting a show on. Its not necessary and just delays the whole thing and instead of going to sleep he's staying awake and getting overtired. I would change to wi/wo method.

 

[Preston's Mom]

Thanks for your insights!  The sitter doesn't rock him, she actually sd he goes down very good for her because he's tired when she puts him down.  I will have her adjust his last nap.  I will try the wi/wo because some nights he wants to put on a show and the second I walk towards the door, he starts whining until I go to his crib & help him lie back down.  We are on Day 9 and know that I know he can put himself to sleep, I would like to transition so he's going to sleep without me in the room and hopefully eventually not wake me up when he wakes up at night.  Now he still gets up once, when I lie him back down, he goes back to sleep.