Is crying allowed while I'm sh/patting?

[heyyou9999]

My LO had naps problem, but it got better.  Now it's gotten worst.  First he was only taking one 1.5 nap a day.  Then I got him to take regular naps, but they were only 30 minutes.  Now he won't take naps at all.  He would cry while I try to calm him with the pat/sh until the next feeding.  His A time is only 10-20 minutes.  Then I take him to his room for wind down and try to put him to sleep.  He would cry and whine the whole time until the next feeding.  This has been going on for two days and I am clueless.  I thought that I was making progress.  What went wrong?

[malialeanne]

Hi there. How old is your lo again? Can you post your approximate routine so we can take a look?

We had lots of crying with pat/shhh until it really "kicked in", which took a couple of weeks.

[heyyou9999]

Did your LO cry every single time you put down for a nap?  For how long did she cry?  I just don't want my LO to associate crying with either crib or napping. 

He is 7.5 wks (12.5 lb) and here's his schedule:

7 AM - eat
7:20 - Activity
7:30 - I try to put him to sleep, but in the last two does have not been successful

10 - eat
10:20 - Acrivity
10:30 - would only take a 30 minute nap and the rest of the time I'm trying to put him back to sleep

1 - eat
1:20 - Activity
1:30 - I try to put him to sleep, but in the last two does have not been successful

4 - eat
4:20 Activity
4:30 - would only take a 30 minute nap and the rest of the time I'm trying to put him back to sleep
6:15 - bedtime routine/bath

7 - eat
7:20 - bed

11 - eat

3 am - eat


Thank you.

[malialeanne]

Hey there. Yes, she cried every time at first. Don't worry, your lo will not associate crying with sleep. He's crying because he doesn't know how to get to sleep and he's probably very tired, when those things are resolved the crying will go away or be greatly reduced.

Around 6-7 weeks our A times were about 45 minutes (including feeding and winddown).

If he does not sleep at naptime or sleeps only 30 minutes, you can continue trying to get him back down until the next feed. After his feed you should put him straight back down without any additional A time since he's probably already overtired at that point.

Will he sleep in his swing or the carseat? Those are not things to depend on for the long term, but since he's so young you might use some "AP" methods just to get him caught up on sleep and break the overtired cycle.

[¤ Efka ¤]

Just to give you some comfort, my LO used to cry when falling asleep til I think4 months.
I would, shush-pat and he screamed full voice til he was asleep.It was just his way to go to sleep.
Now he is sleeping beautifully on his own.

[Nish :)]

Hi Ladies ...

I also have a quick question about crying while shhhh/patting.  Peike and Malialeanne --- when you say that your LO's cried while going to sleep ... how long did they cry?  My DS cries a lot when I put him down and I pick him up when he gets really upset, but then we just start the whole cycle again.  Should I just persevere with the pat/shh with all the crying?  I'm a little confused ... 

Nish

[adaycm]

It doesn't seem to me that your LO is getting enough activity time.  I can only speak for my little one who is now 6.5 weeks, but he stays awake for about an hour total from the beginning of a feed until the next sleep time.  I watch him carefully for sleep signs, yawns and the blank stare before I put him down.  Your LO just might not be tired enough when you are putting him down for a nap.  That could start the fussing and then he might not be able to settle down after the fussy.

Just some ideas... I'm new at this and could very easily be wrong!

[¤ Efka ¤]

I honestly dont remember
It was different I think so. Sometimes I think it was 15 minutes. He really resisted.

[malialeanne]

When we started pat/shush at 5-6 weeks, there was a lot of crying. Usually about 20 minutes or so, but I would have to keep patting until she was deeply asleep and sometimes for the entire nap for that first week or two of sleep training. She alternate between really screaming and more quiet crying before dropping off.

Some babies might be more persistent with crying--it depends on A times, how tired they are, how long and persistent you've been with sleep training, and their own personality.

A times for us were about 45 minutes at 6 weeks, and not a lot of stimulation or electronic toys/music. Getting the A times right and avoiding overstimulation really helped cut down on the crying. At that age they just can't process it.