9 month old refusing second nap - need advice!

[Charlotte07]

I've been working on extending my LO's naps, and it has actually worked for the morning nap in the past few weeks. The afternoon naps have still been short, but, for the last couple of days she refuses to take one! She's an independent sleeper, and has been going down for naps and for the night so easily lately. I have no idea what happened! I tried for over an hour to put her down for a nap yesterday and today, but she just screamed for an hour and kept on sitting up and standing and would not go to sleep. I kept shushing her and comforting her, but it only made her angrier. I think she would fall asleep if I nursed her, but I don't want to start doing that.
And, last night, because she missed the afternoon nap, she was overtired and wouldn't go to bed forever, and woke a few times at night, was up for an hour once. I have no idea what is going on. She is teething, but this is extreme!

Has anyone experienced this before?

Oh, here is our schedule. It varies depending on the length of the morning nap.

6:30-7, wake
8 - milk
9-solids
10:30-11:30, 11:45 nap
12 - milk
1 - solids
3-3:30 nap - but now it won't happen!!!
4 - milk
6-dinner
7-7:30, bed.

She still has one feed at night.

Thanks!!!!!!

Very, very tired mom.....

[¤ Efka ¤]

I am starting to think she is overtired to begin with.
I would start to shorten her A time to 3 hours.

And sometimes it helps for us when my DS is really crying to take him out for 5 minutes to calm and some book watching and then try again in 10 -15 minutes

[Charlotte07]

We did have a shorter A time, but I found that she wouldn't go to sleep very easily at all then, and the morning nap was always 30 minutes. Since extending the A time, especially in the morning, and doing some shush/pat, she has started to take a longer morning nap. She's in a great mood after the morning nap too and I don't really get any tired cues for the afternoon nap until I start the wind down for the nap. Then she'll yawn or something while I read her a story or sing.

If the morning nap is short however, she'll be cranky and yawning, rubbing her eyes etc. I'll put her down earlier for the afternoon nap then, but she still only sleeps 30 minutes.
I tried a shorter A time in the morning a few days ago, and then she only slept for 40 minutes that morning, so I went back to a longer A time and she slept longer.

I'm quite confused.

[¤ Efka ¤]

What about when you dont wait for her to show tired signs but out her down for about 3 or 3.5  hours after waking from morning nap?

Also from your routine, does she usually takes 30 minute afternoon nap? 3-3.30 ?So it would be really good if it would be from 2.30-3.30

[Charlotte07]

Hi,
Thanks for taking the time to help out!
I don't usually wait for the tired signs for the afternoon nap. If she wakes up at 11:30 from the morning nap, I start the wind down at 2:45 or so, then she starts yawning while we do the wind down. I guess my story telling is boring. Usually, she falls asleep, but the past two days she wouldn't. Actually, she did fall asleep yesterday. My hubby took over while I was typing this post, and she fell asleep after an hour of crying. We didn't leave her side, tried to comfort her as best as we could. She finally laid down and slept for 25 minutes.

As for the afternoon nap, it's almost always only 30 minutes. I try each day to put her back to sleep, and 90 percent of the time, fail miserably. If her morning nap is short, I can sometimes extend the afternoon nap, to an hour max.

[Clarepie]

Hi,
My DD is 9 months old too.Your morning EASY is exactly the same as ours.I watch for tired signs,then put her down.This is always after 4 hours A time.I also go with tired signs for the afternoon nap too,and again it is after 4 hours of A time.This does mean that she naps from about 3:30/3:45 for an hour or so.I used to watch the clock with her,but this resulted in 40 min naps,or not wanting to go to sleep,and screaming.She has about 2 1/4 hrs sleep a day,and she doesn't wake at 5:30am anymore which she was doing before I cut her daytime sleep down.She only has about 2 1/2 hrs A time before bed which is fine for her as she is definately tired enough.Maybe try extending her afternoon A time a bit,a little at first,or just watch for when she is ready to sleep.I know every baby is different,but it worked for us,so maybe give it a go.Good luck.

Clare

[Charlotte07]

Thanks Clare,

I don't actually go by tired signs in the morning, because she yawns about an hour after getting up. I used to put her down when she did yawn, and she'd nap only 15 minutes some days. So, I kept on extending the A time. Finally, the morning nap got longer - not today though, won't be a fun day.
It's after the morning nap, if it's decent, that she doesn't show tired signs.

I wonder if I should revert to putting her down earlier in the morning, and trying to extend the afternoon nap. I'm just afraid that this will result in two short naps.

By the way, the 30 minute naps started at about 5.5 months, and the A time was very short then, 2 hours max. She'd take 3 naps a day then. Before that, most naps were 45 minutes, sometimes up to 4 times a day. Extending them rarely worked.

[Clarepie]

Hi Charlotte,
My DD also yawns not long after getting up of a morning,and also has the odd yawn or rubs her eyes occasionally throughout her A time.It's usually while she's eating  or not doing something active.It's so difficult to tell sometimes when they're really tired.I know when Lily really ready to sleep,she starts sucking her thumb,and really starts rubbing her eyes.With regards to naps,you could maybe cut her nap down from an hour to 45 minutes.Then hopefully she will be tired enough for her second nap.It may mean less A time for her,by having the shorter morning nap.At this age,they're beginning to work towards transitioning to one nap in a few months or so,so it's advised to shorten the am nap,and eventually this will get shorter and shorter until it's gone.

clare

[Charlotte07]

I've been debating whether I should just give her a short am nap and try for a longer pm nap. However, we've been struggling with short naps for so long that I'm really scared to shorten the only nap that is longer now. Is it possible that if I shorten the am nap the pm one will still be short?

Charlotte

[KathrynK]

Hi Charlotte
I had a champion 45 min napper for the first 6 mo of her life. At 10 mo I too had to start shortening that am nap and not once ever did it cause a short pm nap. In fact her pm nap got longer and she would sleep for 2hrs, I guess she was making up for the shorter am nap.
I would give it a go and hopefully it should help. However I would keep a close eye on herto make sure she doesn't get overtired as she is young to start the transition. Is she spirited? Often you find spirited lo's cut down on their sleep earlier than other lo's.
hope this helps
K

[Charlotte07]

Thanks Kathryn!
She's definitely spirited, except in the food department. She's an angel baby when it comes to eating.
I will try shorter am naps and see what happens.
How long should I wait to put her down after a short am nap? 3 hours? Or, is that too long?
Charlotte

[KathrynK]

It depends on what you normally do. For example if she normally has 3hrs after a 1.5hr nap, then if she has a 45 min nap I would go for about 2.25 to start with and just guage how she is- if she doesn't go to sleep then perhaps try 2.5 tomorrow. If she normally can cope with 3.5hrs on a decent long nap, then start with 2.75. I think you just need to have a bit of trial and error. When we first started shortening the am nap it took about 4 weeks to find that magic combination, but once we got there, it was a great routine she then stuck to for 4 more months before finally transitioning. So hang on in there and let us know how you get on x

[Charlotte07]

Hi Kathryn,

Well, we've had an eventful few weeks. I tried shortening the morning nap, but that didn't seem to lengthen the afternoon nap at all, and she got overtired a tad. So we went back to two longer naps, and she was fine with it for a bit. I am not sure what those few days of not wanting to take an afternoon nap were about. She did get two teeth...perhaps that was it?
Things went well for a little bit, but she is back on the 30 minute nap thing now!!! She goes back to sleep immediately after I pat her a little, sometimes for another hour. So confused. Do you think I am just stuck extending naps for life?
I guess it's not a big deal to have to extend them everyday if it works, but it would be nice to not have to spend so much time in a dark nursery ....unless I was sleeping myself of course.
Another thing I've noticed is that if her A time in the morning is under 3 hours, she will take a longer nap (50 minutes or so), but I can't put her back to sleep after that. And, the afternoon nap has to be extended as well. If the A time is 3 hours or longer, she will wake after 30 minutes, and I can put her back to sleep and she'll sleep for another 45 minutes at least. So, she gets a longer nap in total. Sorry to go on and on, just wondering which option you think is better. I guess she might be a bit overtired now in the mornings on a longer A time. She started crawling and standing all the time. Do you think that could cause her to get overtired?

Charlotte