Won't sleep for more than a half hour!

[ilovemyalex]

My four-month-old son has never been great with naps.  When he was first born until almost 3 months he took all of his naps on me.  Although I wanted more time to myself I didn't mind this, but it started affecting his nighttime sleep, and he was waking up 5+ times a night.  I got the baby whisperer, and the first day I tried the methods Tracy teaches, DS  slept through the night!!!! For 2 days we were on a REALLY  strict schedule with LO, when I realized that the 3 hour schedule gave him WAY more sleep than he needs...and that's when everything completely fell apart.


Thinking back through the past month it's hard to remember how I got to this point, I've tried soo many things to try and get DS to nap.  At first, instead of following the EASY schedule's time limits exactly, we watched for cues to see when he was hungry, etc.  At some point, I got sick and tired of DS crying for 30 min.+ to have a nap no longer than 30 min, and tried to go back to the old method we were using to get him to sleep (bouncing him on a big yoga ball).  Well that wouldn't get him down either, and it seemed like the only way to get him to sleep was to feed him.  I know this is a HORRIBLE thing to be doing, but when he seemed tired, I would feed him instead of putting him down so he could get some rest, because it felt like nothing I was doing was working.  I didn't realize that I could be setting up DS to be an overeater and use food for comfort until about a week ago, when it suddenly clicked.  When I realized this, I tried EVERYTHING that had worked to get DS to sleep in the past: bouncing, walking around the kitchen with the sink turned on, putting him in the crib, giving him the pacifier and rubbing his stomach, and a lot of other methods. 

Nothing was working and I was getting DESPERATE, so I looked on line for help and came across the BW website!  I posted on the general sleep problems about how DS wouldn't sleep at all unless I was feeding him, and they informed me that I was trying wayy too many things to try and get him down, and to try one thing and be consistant with it.  I started putting him in the crib, wrapping him up, giving him the pacifier and rubbing his belly and shushing him until he went to sleep (I tried PU/PD, but everytime I picked him up it just stimulated him more and got him a lot more mad every time I put him back down).  We figured out HOW to get DS to sleep, and he would be down anywhere from 5-30 min (although we had an hour-long relapse last night) and sleeps great at night, but now no matter what I do I can't get him to sleep more than a half hour!  I watch for his first sleep cues, and the second I see them I rush him off to bed.  No matter how tired he is, or even if I get the right timing, he's still awake 30-45 min later.  He wakes up cranky and screaming, so I can tell he's not rested, and he's yawning and rubbing his eyes 5 minutes after he wakes up. 

Just a few extra details for background to make sure I provide all the information needed...DS isn't really on a strict schedule right now, I'm just trying to follow EASY whenever he seems like he needs it, and his bedtime is at 9.  I haven't been able to find a great bedtime/naptime ritual for him, so what I do is dim the lights, put on his CD of classical music, and bounce him just until he's relaxed. 

I'm sorry this has been sooo long!  Thank  you if you actually made it through

[deckchariot]

We've been battling 45 min naps with our dd but have seen some recent success, so don't know if that's an encouragement to you or not...how long does ds go between feeds?  At 4 mos, he should be on a 4 hr EASY.  Do you bf?  Some bf babies don't make it to 4 hrs until they start solids, but most can do a 3.5.  My dd is bf, and she does a 4 hr just fine.  Also, 9 is a fairly late bedtime for your lo.  What time does he get up in the morning?  If you could post whatever routine you're trying to work with, that would be helpful.  Nap issues are usually either overtired or undertired or some combination of both.  Also, it's really important to have some kind of winddown routine for lo's - at nap and at bedtime,  Do you have any kind of nap routine?  What have you tried for bed?  It seems like you've tried a lot, but if you can fill in some of the answers to these questions, it might help figure out where the biggest problem is.  HTH

[vadensmommy]

It can all be so confusing sometimes can't it!  I figured I'd post what we were doing when dd was 4 mo old.  She was FF so if you BF it may be a bit different.  We always aim to have a 12 hour day and a 12 hour night, so an ideal routine for us at that age was something like this:

E 7
A 7-9
S 9-11
 
E 11
A 11-1
S 1-3

E 3
A 3-5
S 5-5:45 - catnap, just enough to get them to bedtime w/o being overtired

E 5:45 kind of a cluster feeding for us
A 5:45-7 - you could feed somewhere in here instead, or feed again for an extra cluster feed if you like. 
S 7 for the night

DF around 10, and cross your fingers till morning

As far as getting your lo go off to sleep on their own - dd was already doing that at this age, so I don't have a lot of advice as far as that goes.  What I DO know is the earlier you can institute some sort of wind down routine that works for y'all so your lo is going to sleep on his own, the better.  The older they get the harder it is to get them to fall asleep with the accidental parenting methods.  Sorry I can't be more help on that end, but I hope things start to get better! 
S 7 for the night

[ilovemyalex]

I BF, and DS can go anywhere from 3-4 hours between feeds.  LO wakes up around 7-10, usually closer to 8 or 9 (Once he slept until 11! ).  I know that's late for a baby, but I can't lie...I love it.  If getting him up at 7 is what solves this problem though, I am more than ready to do it. 

Well...I've been shooting for a 3.5 hour routine and am planning to move it to a 4 hour routine as soon as he stops being overtired and can stay up longer.  A lot of times during the day he wakes up, I feed him, and after only 20 min or so of A time he's showing sleep cues, so obviously I'm not making it to the 3.5 hour schedule. 

As for a nap/bedtime routine...I've tried a lot there too.  Books just make him mad and squirmy at this point, baths just get him super energized, and I'm kind of at a loss for what to do.  At the moment I turn off the lights, put on some classical music, and bounce him until he's calm but still awake.  It doesn't last very long, but I'm hoping he gets it from that 

[deckchariot]

I did a 3.5 hr routine for several weeks and it looked a bit like this:

E: 7
A:7-8:30/8:45
S: 8:30/8:45 - 10:30

E: 10:30
A: 10:30 - 12:00/12:15
S: 12:15 - 2:00

E: 2
A:2 - 3:30
S: 3:30 - 5 (not usually, but that was always my dream)

E: 5
A: 5 - 7:30 (she'd NEVER take a cat nap, so we just toughed it out, she did ok til 7 and then it was harder)
E: 7:30 and to bed

df at 10:30

When she started not being so hungry at the 5 and 7:30 feeds, we switched to a 4 hr EASY, now she eats at 7, 11, 3, 7, df 11. 

The wind down routine doesn't have to be long at all.  For naps, we do diaper change, close blinds, story (that's only been recently), rock for a few minutes, then up on my shoulder and we just sit still (or at least I sit still, she usually squirms), then I do a bit of shh/pat, then down in the crib.  When we first started (at about 2 weeks old), we'd shh/pat in the crib until she was asleep, now we put her down awake.  It takes her sometimes up to 30 min to fall asleep on her own, usually only 5-10.  If she screams I go in, otherwise, if she's just talking/fussing a bit, I don't.  For nighttime, it's diaper change, jammies, dh reads while I feed, prayers, rocking, shoulder sit, shh/pat, down in crib.  The nap routine is maybe 10 min max.  Bedtime is longer because it includes a feed.  We don't bathe her every day.  So your winddown sounds fine to me.

Once you get him established a bit more on EASY, and he's not so overtired, you can start trying w2s or pu/pd to extend his naps.  I find nap extension to be unbearable hard, but we are having some limited success with it.  Hang in there!!