I feel like a failure...need EASY help

[Amandamom]

I've read the FAQs in several boards.  I'm new so I apologize if this isn't the right area for this post.
I've had my daughter on a routine since about 5 weeks, however, I just read Baby Whisperer a few weeks ago based on someone's recommendation since my daughter was only taking 45 min. or less naps.  So, since then we've been following a 3 hr. EASY and a few days after implementing it her naps improved.
My daughter is now 3 months and 1 week old and is back to 45 min. or less naps.  Plus, two nights ago she refused to eat at bedtime, last night she didn't want to eat one of her cluster feeds and this morning she refused her 10:00 feed and instead went down for a nap.  She is still sleeping (it's 10:45 here).
One of my biggest obstacles with EASY is her A time first thing in the morning.  She wakes up at 7 and is ready to go down for her nap at 8, but almost never sleeps for more than an hour at that time, she is then tired again between 10 and 10:30.  In the afternoon her A times are longer, but we've been having more of a EASAE than EASY routine.
So, is she ready for a 3.5 hr or 4 hr. EASY??  It sort of seems so, but prior to the last few days she sometimes didn't make it the whole 3 hrs between feeds.
I've just started doing the dreamfeed (2 nights) and it has gone well and she wakes up once during the night so her nighttime sleep is okay.
I'm also worried that I haven't responded properly to her growth spurts, although she's growing fine I haven't implemented any extra feeds.
Basically I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing and am having  trouble having any consistency during the day when her naps and now her feeds are so erratic.  I know the point of EASY is so your baby knows what's coming next, but with the short and erratic napping there is no predictability.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I need advice!! Thanks.

This is what a typical day has looked like for me the last few days:
7:00 wake up/feed
8:00 Nap
9:00 Wake up/Activity
10:00 Feed
10:30 Nap
11:00 Wake up/Activity
12:30 or 1:00 Eat
1:30 or 2:00 Nap
45 min. to an hour later Wake up
3:30 or 4:00 Eat
4:30 or 5:00 Catnap
5:30 or 6:00 Clustfeed
7:30 Bath and Clusterfeed

She is a very efficient eater and eats only 5-10 min.
 

[prridolfi]

Hi there!!
I am by no means an expert but I have one question. Does she fall asleep while eating or does she eat, then you change her diaper or something of the sort and then she takes her nap? Because if she doesn't fall asleep while feeding I do not seem much of a problem with her. Her routine seems pretty consistent from what you describe.
If you want to extend her naps you could try the wake-to-sleep technique. When she is 30 min into her nap try to rouse her very lightly from her sleep but not enough to actually wake her up, just to make her come from that deep sleep and restart her sleep cycle 8which would make her nap aprox 1.5 hrs long). I would not recomend the 4hrs EASY until she is 4 months old and she will do the transition quite swiftly don't rush her.
I may be a bit severe but if she refuses to eat when she is supposed to, then don't force her and feed her until it is her next feeding time.... you'll see she won't refuse another feed.
Good luck!!!

[Amandamom]

No, she doesn't fall asleep while eating. 

[Grace's Mom]

Hello and Welcome 

Congratulation on your new baby. 

45 minute naps usually mean they are ready for a bit more A time.  Do you think you baby is ready for some more A time (15 minutes give or take)?
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=84884.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63161.0

A shorter 1st A time is normal.  Babies usually view that 1st nap as a continuation of night time sleep.  If you want to try keep her up 1 hour 15 minutes to see if she'll sleep longer than go for it. 

****With anything new you try (like extending A time, starting a DF, etc) give it 3-5 days to really decide if the change has helped or not.  It takes a good few days for their little bodies to adjust to change so the first few days may be a bit off but stick with whatever you try and things should even out after a week.

With a growth spurt you don't have to implement additional feeds.  My daughter actually never had extra feeds and really never needed extra food....silly girl.  If you think she's going through a growth spurt you can add extra ounces to her feeds and see if that helps.  Of course if she wakes at night hungry then I would feed her.

Do you have a nap routine?
Do you have a wind down period before you nap routine/nap?

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=97133.0

Melissa

[Amandamom]

I do have a nap routine.  When she is getting close to naptime or starts to get tired I hold her and walk around the house with her to wind down.  Then we go into her room and turn on her ocean sounds and sit in the chair together for about 5 min.  I then swaddle her and she usually goes to sleep without a problem.  She doesn't stay asleep for long though.

[Grace's Mom]

It looks like you have a great nap time routine. 

Did you get a chance to look at the links I posted?

What do you think about A time?

-Melissa

[Amandamom]

I did look at the links.  Thanks!  With the exception of her first A time, I think she could go longer than 1.5 hours, but she is still hungry every 3 hours.  So I don't think I can transition her yet?

I did keep her up for an hour and fifteen minutes this morning and her nap was longer, so we'll see how the rest of the day goes.

[Grace's Mom]

Great!

-Melissa

[Amandamom]

So am I right in thinking that if most of the time she's ready to eat after 3 hours then it is too early to transition?  She has refused to eat a few times at 3 hours, but I think that it had more to do with being overtired than not being hungry.

[Grace's Mom]

Being OT can definitely cause them to not want to eat.  Work on that and she if she starts eating better again.

Melissa