Author Topic: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty  (Read 2909 times)

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Offline shanjakson

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no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« on: August 22, 2007, 00:10:29 am »
Hi I have a 6 month old son Jakson.  He has always spilled after each feed and all the way until the next feed.  We had seen so many doctors and child health nurses and paed etc they all said he had reflux and he will just grow out of it.  So for month I persevered being constantly thrown up on.  Anyway Jakson stopped putting on weight and still the doctors didn't take us seriously.  Then he started losing weight!!  They finally listened to us and thought maybe we should do something about it.  He was put on motilium and losec and I continued breastfeeding.  He was still throwing up just as much.  He started on solids also which made no difference.
Anyway last week I expressed and put thickner in his bottle and he kept the whole thing down.  He has put on 200g in a week and is sleeping so much better and is so much more content during the day.  I stopped all medication and he is thriving.
I feel so guilty now.  I am expressing and feeding a bottle but still feel like i have failed.  Breast milk is supposed to be best for bubs and it wasn't.
Should I continue expressing?  It is so much hard work and exhausting.  I really miss breastfeeding him and feel like i have lost our special bond.

Anyone else experienced this?
I just have some questions about bottles.
How long can I keep breastmilk in the fridge?
How often should I be expressing?
How much should I be expressing for him?

Also he is keeping all the milk and solids down but when I give him water he throws that up.  Can I put thickner in his water?
Sorry so many questions.  Feel like I have a newborn again.
Thanks
Shannon and Jakson

Offline MDHmommy

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2007, 00:20:37 am »
Shannon - don't feel guilty, the important thing is that he's doing better and gaining weight like he should, not how you feed him!

I'm rusty on breast milk storage - you might want to pop over to Breastfeeding to see what they say. You can always freeze it, and I think it's ok in the fridge for a few days.

You should pump as often as you would feed, so with a 6 month old you were probably feeding him every 4 hours or so, so you'll want to pump that much to keep up your supply. Don't worry how much you're getting - just pump what you can - again - you might want to check with the BF girls on that. Personally, when we started to wind down BF, I just pumped as much as I could and then topped DS' bottles off with formula. Some EBM is better than none!

Why are you giving him water? I've not heard of doing that unless it's very, very hot where you are?

Hang in there - and meanwhile, I'm glad your lo is feeling better!

Kate
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Offline RachelC

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2007, 00:24:33 am »
{{{{hugs}}}} Please do not feel like a failure.  You were not getting the support you needed from your doctors.  You have done wonderfully hanging in there as long as you have.

From http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/milkcalc.html

Sometime between six months and a year (as solids are introduced and slowly increased) baby's milk intake may begin to decrease, but breastmilk should provide the majority of baby's nutrition through the first year. Because of the great variability in the amount of solids that babies take during the second six months, the amount of milk will vary, too. One study found average breastmilk intake to be 30 oz per day (875 ml/day; 93% of total intake) at 7 months and 19 oz (550 ml/day; 50% of total energy intake) at 11-16 months.

Breastmilk can be kept in the fridge for up to 7 days.  You can combine EBM when it is the same temperature (ie, leave a second pumping in the fridge overnight before combining with a previous pumping).  You will probably want to pump at least every 3 hours, and keep in mind that your breasts will not produce the same for the pump as they do for Jakson.  You may want to consider taking Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle (can be found in health food stores) to help maintain your supply.

I don't know about thickener in water... don't see why not, but I really don't know.  I do know that water is vomit inducing, so unless you must give it, stay away from it for now.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}  I am also going to have a mod pop this over to the breastfeeding board, as your questions still pertain there.  You are doing a wonderful job, and to even consider full time pumping proves how much you care for Jakson.  Hang in there.  :-*


Proud to have breastfed for a combined total of 35 months


Offline shanjakson

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2007, 00:25:22 am »
Hi thankyou for replying so fast.
I was giving him water because the child health nurse said i should with every meal.  was not too sure about that one.
can i put breastmilk in with formula?  say if i only pump 100ml can i put that with the other 110ml of formula to make up a full feed?
i am managing to pump at least 3 full feeds a day and a bit left over.
will my supply eventually decrease if i just pump rather than breastfeed?
we are in queesland.  not too hot yet.
thanks again

Offline shanjakson

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2007, 00:29:21 am »
thanks rachel.
that information was a great help.
i think i will stay away from the water then thanks for that.
jakson's daddy is really loving feeding him which is lovely.  gives me a break in the evening too.  i just miss it.  i know i am seflish.  many people cannot breastfeed for one reason or another.  i have done it for 6 months and am still whinging.
thanks again for your help and support.
do you think i should keep adding thickner for how long?  sorry for all the questions but as you said am not getting the help or support from professionals.
this site is wonderful!

Offline RachelC

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2007, 00:30:37 am »
You do not have to offer water with meals.  He does not need more fluids.  Yes, you can absolutely mix the bm and formula.

Your supply may dip as the pump doesn't stimulate like baby does, but there are things you can do to help:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/pumping_decrease.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/maintainsupply-pump.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bf-links-excpumping.html

Some more on storage:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/milkstorage.html

 :-*


Proud to have breastfed for a combined total of 35 months


Offline SylvieA

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2007, 00:36:59 am »
Hi
you can mix formula with breastmilk just before feedings. I've done it and was fine.

So to keep the bond you get from bfeeding, have you tried a few feed a day when he is calmer and less chance of reflux. Morning was always best for us and middle of the night if he woke up.

As for pumping, you may want to keep pumping for 5 extra minutes on each side after the last drop to keep you supply up.

Breastfed babies don't need water. At least not until they start eating solids.  

kellymom is a great websight,  it helped me lots.
Miguel-November 2005
Zoe-August 2008

Offline shanjakson

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2007, 00:46:39 am »
thanks.  if he wakes over night i do breastfeed him and he never vomits then which confuses me.
thanks for all you help girls

Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2007, 10:24:05 am »
You've had lots of good advice but I just wanted to offer some extra HUGS. :-*
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Offline MDHmommy

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2007, 15:47:21 pm »
It's great that you're still able to BF at night, that will help your supply as well. I took those herbs that Rachel mentioned, and I do think that they helped me too. Good luck! You're doing great.
Kate
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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2007, 21:11:53 pm »
Hi there, huge hugs, how great bf until 6 months

DD had reflux but at night when feeding was ok as she was sleepy, reflux babes feed best when sleepy lol

Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

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Re: no longer breastfeeding and feel guilty
« Reply #11 on: August 23, 2007, 14:18:59 pm »
Many babies with reflux DO outgrow it with time.....so it's possible that he might manage better with nursing as he gets a bit older, so if you decide to keep pumping and maintain your supply, you may well be able to bf more in a little time...

{{{hugs}}}
Erin
Mother to Megan and Samantha