19mo won't sleep, wants mummy- help!

[KathrynK]

I had to use gradual withdrawal for bedtime as well.
All was fine until it was time to put her sleeping bag (she calls it her night night) on- boy did she fight it. Had the biggest screaming fit ever- this is not a child who really cries a lot or has tantrums but she put on a real show last night. The easy thing would have been to take it off but I thought it's not the sleeping bag that's the problem, it's that she knows that means bedtime; so I sat her on my lap (in sleeping bag) and let her ride it out- after 5 mins of her crying real hard and saying "nightnight off" I said quietly in her ear "Sophie, mummy will stay here while you fall asleep" and it was like I'd flipped a switch- she went quiet immediately, finished her milk like a lamb and went into her cot without a peep. Took 9 mins to fall asleep and then I left the room.
I heard her call out "mummy" once at 3.30am but that was it.
Is that classic SA at bedtime?!

 I have a question for you: when she wakes now, rather than waking happy like usual, she is crying for mummy straight away. Usually when she wakes I leave her in her cot for a bit, especially if she wakes early. But if I leave her like this will it make things worse? Should I get her straight away?
Am working today so she's at nursery. Dh is dropping her off as I can't face it 
thanks everyone for your help

[KathrynK]

update: I was brave and took dd to nursery. She went in with no problems and happily waved me bye bye.  slept like a lamb at nap time
tonight: I pre-empted any crying by saying I would stay with her while she fell asleep right from the start and she went into her grobag and cot just fine. But then she took 35 mins to fall asleep. aaargh I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. But! during those 35 mins she had the odd chat with herself and quiet periods where she was sucking her thumb, but not once did she try to get my attention or speak to me.
I am really confused whether this is genuine SA or she's just playing me up. I honestly think it's a bit of both.
Will see what happens tomorrow but any more advice in the meantime?

[A_C]

HUGS Kathryn...hang in there! 

[holdenlouis]

Hi everyone I have been doing this GW for 3 weeks now. It just does not seem to be working. Holden is also teething and has SA. Plus he had a cold the 2nd week in. Thought when that cleared up he would be fine but nooo I am really trying to be patient over here but now he has a fit in his crib. I can't leave the room and I have to hold his hand for up to 45min. Then there are the NW last night I fell asleep on his floor. The night before he would not settle for anything and was up for 3 hrs crying. I wish this would just go away now! Thought I should try wi/wo but that just makes matters worse. Hope you have better success than we are having over here. I am at the end of my rope. Holden is not talking yet either so he can't tell me anything to help comfort him. Sometimes I think he is playing me too. Good luck tonight. Happy sleeping vibes.
Lisa

[A_C]

Have you all also considered that perhaps it may be a yet another growth spurt on top of evrything else? I know for a fact that Sophia has had tremendous cognitive growth and advancement in the past week...we are well passed 6 word sentences. She expresses herself very well now and her vocabulary is so extensive it's scary.  Also I JUST measured her height just today and noticed that she grew a whole inch ...she is now 33 1/2 inches tall!
From reading other posts as well, I think that it is a develomental thing involving teething, SA and growth spurts.... that seems to be prevalent at around this age.  Apaprently it is just a  matter of riding it out.

[KathrynK]

Lisa sorry you are having a rough time too, this really sucks 
Ana I totally agree, I think we just have to ride it out.

Tonight she went into grobag with little fuss, she protested when I put her in the cot so I asked her if she wanted me to stay while she fell asleep and she said yes; so I sat on the floor and guess what? The little monkey started to play, I could see out of the corner of my eye, she was putting her hands over her face and saying "where's Sophie", then she pulled herself up to see over the cot rail and shouted "boo mummy" at which point I layed her down and said Night Night and left the room- she moaned for mummy for 5 mins then played for another 5- 10 mins happily then fell asleep! grrrrr I feel almost cross with her for playing me.
will see what tomorrow brings- hugs to everyone x

[A_C]

Tonight she went into grobag with little fuss, she protested when I put her in the cot so I asked her if she wanted me to stay while she fell asleep and she said yes; so I sat on the floor and guess what? The little monkey started to play, I could see out of the corner of my eye, she was putting her hands over her face and saying "where's Sophie", then she pulled herself up to see over the cot rail and shouted "boo mummy" at which point I layed her down and said Night Night and left the room- she moaned for mummy for 5 mins then played for another 5- 10 mins happily then fell asleep! grrrrr I feel almost cross with her for playing me.
will see what tomorrow brings- hugs to everyone x

Oh boy Kathryn! 

Is it just me ... or has it taken Sophie even less time this time around to finally go down and fall asleep (despite trying to play with mum)?  No NW yesterday but today Sophia woke up at 5:25 am and I held her for a while, put her down and left 5 mins. after that...minimal fuss this time..but she never went back to sleep (too close to wake time)...sighh so gotta see what happens as well.
Hang in there, love....hope all goes well with Sophie tonight! 

Lisa...how did Holden do?

Ana

PS: Kathryn...I'm so sorry I've been typing in your DD's name as SOPHIA instead of SOPHIE (must be just the natural way my fingers hit the keys nowadays....  Sorry about that must have been confusing.  I just noticed now and made the corrections!

[holdenlouis]

OMG what a horrible night 3 hrs. trying to put him down I sent DH in cause I was so frustrated. Then I tried to take him for a ride any thing to get him to sleep but that didn't work either. So we came home and he cried for another 20 trying to get him to sleep. I was so steamed at the whole thing I was almost gonna let him cio. But I didn't cause that is just cruel. I hate that he doesn't let me try to comfort him sometimes. He was thrashing around in his crib. Oh what a night. He didn't have a NW though Thank God!  Tonight he went down better but he was starting to do the thrasher thing. I don't even remember how I got him to stop that. Hope you guys have better sleep than this.
Lisa

[A_C]

Ohhh...I'm so sorry Lisa    I'm sooo glad thought that there were no NWs this time around....I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you tonight as well. I wonder if letting Holden have some board books in bed to occupy his time and serve as a distraction so he isn't crying for you, would work out? I let Sophia read some books in bed and she generally talks to herself while she reads and then finally goes to sleep within an hour of putting her down. Thankfully I don't have to be in the room with her while she works herself to sleep.

Been having a few NWs still (or shall I say...early moring wakings).  I am wondering how much longer we need to ride this out? how long it takes for this phase to finally pass?  (I know...I know....as long as it takes). I'm getting impatient and I just can't help but think that she just turned 20 months...she can go back to her old easy-going routine anytime now.  LOL!  Sighhhhhh.....I'd like to have a full night's sleep again.

How's it going with Sophie, Kathryn? I sure hope you guys are doing better over there...

[KathrynK]

I think I am lucky, have not really had any NW (I'll have one tonight, now I've said that)
Bedtime wasn't too bad last night, she was shattered as we'd been out all afternoon in the fresh air; I put her down, said night night and left the room- she moaned for a few mins then played for about 10 mins and then was asleep.
Still having trouble at nap times- she gets really worked up still and I have to stay in the room. I know it's not even been a week yet but I also wish this phase would pass! It's no fun 

[holdenlouis]

Ana I think I will try the board book today for nap. The thing is I think he may just play but maybe I'll be able to leave the room. He woke again last night and I slept on the floor again.
Kathryn this just started a week ago for you? This started 7/31 for us and it has only gotten worse . Like Ana said how long does this last until? Probably till the next phase of development or 2 yr molors come in I hope not! Just want him to be his little independant sleeper again Good luck for naps today.
Lisa

[A_C]

Try it too for bedtime Lisa....that's when I generally let her read her board books in bed (after a quick bed time read to her).  At nap time thankfully she usually goes down really quickly.

Hang in there Kathryn.  Has it only been a week for you guys?  I think I've been having these NWs for 2 weeks now. 

Oh boy...there she goes awake and crying for me again...Ughhh gotta run!

[holdenlouis]

Well he fell asleep in the car when DD and I were on our way home from school shopping and he only slept 45 min. so we will try to go down early tonight with the book idea. Anything so I don't have to sit on the floor. Will let you know. Good luck guys!

[samsam]

Hi there,

I just wanted to say I am in the same situation and am at a bit of a loss too.

DD is 18 months old.

Refuse to try CIO as never have and don't want to break trust. DD has been a great independent sleeper since about 5 months when i started BW routines, but just this week she has started crying as soon as I put her into her cot. She then reaches up saying 'Mummy, cuddle' which breaks my heart! She has never 'played us up' and i don't believe she is doing this now - she is genuinely upset. PU/PD seems hopeless and don't want to start cuddling to sleep, as past experience tells me this is not a good habit to get into 

Tonight I just told her I was going to sit in the chair next to her, so not to worry. I did this and was then able to leave the room just before she fell asleep. I don't mind doing this, if it helps her, but just looking for a bit of reassurance that by doing this I am not 'accidental parenting' and that this phase will end !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Worried I am accidental parenting....

No signs of SA in day, so don't know why happening.

Any advice would be gratefully received. Good luck to other mums on this board with this problem!