HELP- 13 month old wakes at 4:50 AM

[sfrzn]

Please help me, I don't know where I should start. My lo wakes up between 4:50-5:30 in the morning and is definately tired. He used to sleep until 7:30 or so, but ever since weaning and teething he has started this early morning rising. I am exhausted- with another babe on the way and am just plain frustrated. His daily schedule is so out of sorts, and now wants to nap at 9 in the morning, and again at 1. He is not a good napper either- 45 minutes with an occasional 1.5 hour nap. He now always wakes up crying, when he never used to before.
Right now his bedtime is at 7 ish, with a great wind down- he falls asleep with no problems, and will sleep for the most part straight until this early morning waking.
Any suggestions on where I should begin? thanks

[Muskokangirl]

Not sure about all that you have written, but try going to the Night Wakening forum and I think I read some info on the early rising part...I believe you need to work on the PU/PD method to get him back to sleep...I'm sure that doesn't excite you at that hour and with another baby on the way...As for waking up crying, my daughter seems to have started the same thing, she is now 10.5mo old and started this around 9mo.  I wonder if it's part of a separation anxiety thing, I say this because we are there when they go to sleep and I know that she cries wanting me to come get her right away...mysterious little creatures they are...maybe that's a bit of a start for you...check out the other boards for info...

[Layla]

Hi there - did you used to feed him in the morning around this time before weaning?

Schedule wise I would stick with 2 naps but you need to have the morning nap short so there is a drive for an afternoon nap. YOu might also have to temporarily put him down for the night earlier to give him a chance to catch up on sleep. I would aim for something like this:

9am - morning nap
9:45 - wake him from nap
1-1:15 - afternoon nap
2:30-3pm - afternoon nap ends
6-6:30pm - bedtime

Did he fall asleep independantly in the past or do you rock him or help him out in any way? Have you done anything to extend naps? Like pu/pd or wi/wo?

I would start with putting him down for the night earlier - he really need about 11hrs at night so even if he continues to wake at 5:30am he would have had more sleep overnight & will be easier to push his day forward & extend his naps.

Do you give him anything for teething pain?

Layla

[sfrzn]

HI, thanks for your reply.
Yes, i did used to feed him in the morning around 5-6am and he would go back to sleep.
He has fallen asleep independently since he was 8 months old. I have tried to extend his naps with pu/pd, but this just makes him very angry. I have also tried wake to-sleep, but this only works occasionally. (it could be my squeaky door?). I didn't know if wi/wo would work because he was so angry with pu/pd. Should I try this?

This morning he woke up at 5:45, and was in bed asleep by 7:45 - should I put him to bed earlier yet? (I just read the post this morning). Yesterday he had only 2- 45 min naps- one at 9:30 and 2:00.
In regards to teething pain- it doesn't seem to bother him much at night, but possibly during the day. He has 16 teeth, so it looks like most of those fat molars have come in.

Thanks for your reply, i really appreciate it!!!!

[elmarie]

I do agree with Layla that you should be putting your Lo to bed earlier.  The A time between naps and bedtime is too long so he OT by then.  6ish pm will be a better bedtime.  If he had a 45min nap you should do even earlier bedtime like 5.30pm

Just remember that your lo will get angry with PD in the beginning but you must stick to it even if he gets angry-give it at least a week before deciding if it works or not. It does work!!! (with lots of support from BW-thanks Layla! ).  What worked for us was to use PD until lo can settle well on their own (this took 2 weeks) and then do the GW towards the door (also took nearly 2 weeks).  Once there is started wi/wo and within 3 days my DD was sleeping on her own.  You have to do 1 of these methods to avoid AP.  If you feel despondent keep posting on BW to keep you on track...

Good luck

Elmarie X

[Layla]

This morning he woke up at 5:45, and was in bed asleep by 7:45 - should I put him to bed earlier yet? (I just read the post this morning). Yesterday he had only 2- 45 min naps- one at 9:30 and 2:00.

Yes, I would do bedtime no later than 7pm.... on the days such as yesterday where hw only napped twice for 45mins, I would be doing bedtime around 6pm.

So would you say that the 45min nap is more common than the 1.5hr nap in the afternoon? You might want to try the afternoon nap slightly earlier than 2pm... I would probbaly try about 3ish hrs after morning nap... so say about 1.30ish & see if he might sleep longer.

[sfrzn]

Well, we are starting to put him to bed earlier. Yesterday was hard because it was Sunday, but he was in bed by 6:45.  Yesterday's naps were at 8:30 am (45min) and 1:40 (1.2h). He definately had no problem going to sleep at 6:45. This morning he woke up at 5:15...it seems as though he is startled when he wakes up, he tried to settle, but was up 10 min later. What should i do with him this early in the morning? Any methods to extend sleep...or just the early bed thing.
It will get better right?

[Layla]

I woudl keep putting him to bed earlier - even earlier than 6:45pm. If he's had around 11hrs of sleep (no less) at night then you could try & delay the morning nap until its at 9am & afternoon nap about 3ish hrs after the end of morning nap

It should get better. Jasmine was waking b/n 5-5.30 for about 6 weeks... very frustrating & no one wants to be up at a ridiculous time like that.... so I know what you are going through. You just need to give him the chance to catch up on some sleep

[sfrzn]

Yeah it is getting a bit better. The last two days he is waking up after 6 am!! Today was 6:15. It seems to be be extending 15 minutes everyday. He was in bed last night at 6:45. (so slept 11.5 hours last night) It is really hard to get him in bed earlier than this because dad gets home at 5:30, then dinner and dad time!
So i am just wondering - do i delay the nap right away as he wakes up earlier each morning? Do I continue to keep the bedtime around 6:45 or earlier? How long should we do this? Until he is waking up at the right time?
Wow this parenting thing takes a lot of thinking
THANKS SOOOO MUCH!

[Layla]

Oh I am so glad things are working out. I know its hard to do the earlier bedtime & he doesn't get to see daddy as much.

Could you tell me what his naps have been like in the last few days. What time is the morning nap now?

What's the "right" wake up time for you?

[sfrzn]

okay maybe i spoke too soon . This morning he was up at 5:37. So naps...yesterday 9ish, and 1ish both 45 minutes, and then i put him to bed at 6:40. Today, with the early wakeup i put him down for a nap at 8:40 (45 minutes) and then right at 1:00. His afternoon nap was thankfully 1.5 hours. He is now in bed at 7 pm (later than what i wanted but we were out)
I have still been keeping that nap around 9, because he just seems to need it right then. Who knows maybe he is bored with me by then (lol) and just wants to get away. The right wake up time, in my mind, would be 7ish-7:30. I hope i am not dreaming here!

[Layla]

So I would think he woke earlier today because he only had 2 short naps & bedtime was 4hrs later (on a 45min nap).... so maybe if the 2nd nap is short in the future, try bedtime around 6pm (i know that relatiovely leaves no daddy time). Maybe you could do dinner at 4.30/5pm & when daddy gets home he could do the last part of the routine & you & dh have dinner later without the lo.... I know thats probably not the prefered option... just my opinion.

Also I would try not to put down earlier (even if he wakes around 5.30am) ..... so I would keep the morning nap at 9am, still wake him up at 45mins but the afternoon nap do no later than 3hrs later. If the morning wake up time is "normal" (being 6ish), then do morning nap around 9am & afternoon nap about 3.5hrs later....

So basically because of the long morning stretch (if he wakes earlier than 6am) till 9am, you shorten the 2nd A time.

I hope I'm not confusing you

You can get to 7am... but it might take some time. I guess its important not to let him get overtired (so if 2 short naps, put to bed even earlier). Its also really hard at the moment because he is in the middle of the 2-1 switch & I found the wake up times ranged anywhere from 5-7am...

Keep me posted
Layla

[sfrzn]

Hi Layla, here is our progress. The last three days he has been waking b/w 5:50-6:15. We do the morning nap right at 9 am, and he sleeps almost instantly. For the most part, that afternoon nap comes at 3.25-3.5 hours later. He seems to be sleeping a bit longer now for this nap- one day was 1.5, next was 2 (he woke up at an hour but he was grumpy, so i told him it was nap time again and he went back down...which is unusual for him) and yesterday was just over an hour. Night time has been b/w 6:45 and 7 at the very latest.
He still seems to wake up with a startle...is it this b/c of his internal clock.
Do I just continue this pattern now or do I need to make changes?
Thanks so much

[Layla]

Now that he is constantly waking up at that time you could try to add 10mins to the morning nap & the afternoon nap & bedtime to see if he will start waking up a little later. Try not to let the afternoon nap go longer than 2hrs cause sometimes that robs them off their night sleep

Well done to your lo for going back to sleep . I also used to do that with Isabella & she would surprise me alot when she would actually lay back down & return to sleep. So I would try

9:15-10am - morning nap
1:30-3pm - afternoon nap
7pm - bedtime

See how you go with that... if he starts waking up earlier though then it could just be that he is an early riser & thats his internal clock & you'll probably have to take a step back to 9am nap....

Before all this did he used to wake around 7am?

Layla