Poll

What about indipendent playing?

encourage indipendent playing
4 (100%)
he will learn by himself indipendent playing
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 3

Voting closed: September 12, 2007, 20:58:43 pm

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Offline vivy74

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indipendent playing 9 months old
« on: September 05, 2007, 20:58:43 pm »
Hello,
I need some help in teaching indipendent playing to my 9 month old boy. When he was 5/6 month old he usually spent some time playing alone with toys or other objects like spoons, boxes .... then there has been a period when he was very frustated because he wanted to move but was not able to crawl. 3 weeks ago he started to crawl but he plays alone only for 5 minutes a time then he starts whining and I can do anything in the house. Am I pretending too much or anyone has suggestion to teach indipendent playing? Thanks a lot. :)
Sorry for the English, I'm Italian and probably there are many errors.
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Offline Jaime

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Re: indipendent playing 9 months old
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2007, 19:02:44 pm »
hi!!

i wonder if instead of having problems with independent play you are actually starting to see separation anxiety - it tends to start to appear around this age.  maybe have a peek here & see if anything sounds familiar?

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62612.0
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Offline Jewell

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Re: indipendent playing 9 months old
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2007, 05:31:28 am »
Hi,
I seem to have the same problem...my LO will not play by himself anymore :(

When my LO was 4/5 months he would play by himself for over 30mins at a time and only when he wanted something else to play with would whining for me to come see. When he turned 6mths he started to crawl and was so happy ;D that he could now get his own toys that the time he would play by himself increased, then we went to the UK for my Dad's funeral and when there would again play by himself without a problem. it was when we came back that things have changed, he has started daycare one day a week, which could account for the fact he is so clingy now ??? but would that also account for the fact he now refuses to play without me there. It's got so bad that he will now try to play with his toys on me ::).

I have tried to build up time when I'm out of the room, making sure that he knows that I'm coming right back, but it does not seem to be working >:( mind you when he wants to wander off into a room of his own accord he will play by himself fine.

I think that when he started to pull himself up on all the furniture at 8 months i started to hover somewhat as we have hard floors in all rooms and he did fall over a couple of times...do you think that this could have started something? maybe I've started sending him a message that states that i don't trust him to be on his own now?

any help would be great
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Offline Jaime

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Re: indipendent playing 9 months old
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2007, 19:05:47 pm »
well, SA is something that tends to ebb & flow every few months, so you could certainly be back in the middle of it now.  unfortunately, there are no hard & fast rules about how long it lasts; i know with my dd, she seemed to be in & out of within days... my ds tended to take WEEKS before he'd truly be done with it (until the next time!)

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I think that when he started to pull himself up on all the furniture at 8 months i started to hover somewhat as we have hard floors in all rooms and he did fall over a couple of times...do you think that this could have started something? maybe I've started sending him a message that states that i don't trust him to be on his own now?

you might be on to something.  (gosh, that sounded horrible!  please know i don't mean it that way!   :-*  ).  it is SO hard when they start to become independent, isn't it?  i wanted to wrap mine in bubble wrap, and we have carpet!   :P  tbh... i think it's a happy medium.  move the big stuff out of the way (like coffee tables) so there's no chance he'll bang his head on them.  stay close, but try not to hover over him.  fine line, i know. 

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I have tried to build up time when I'm out of the room, making sure that he knows that I'm coming right back, but it does not seem to be working.   mind you when he wants to wander off into a room of his own accord he will play by himself fine.

drives you crazy, doesn't it?!  that's all part of it, believe it or not.  just keep doing what you're doing, and you will eventually come out the other side of this.  :)
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Offline vivy74

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Re: indipendent playing 9 months old
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2007, 09:45:29 am »
Hi
in my case, I don't think is separation anxiety. The last two days have been a little better but I'm worried because he seems not interested in his toys or that he can not concentrate on activities.
Vivy
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Offline Katet

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Re: indipendent playing 9 months old
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2007, 11:46:48 am »
I think 5mins at that age is actually not so bad, the exploration time starts about this age & with mobility that is what they want to do,  also there is SA going on, when they know that you come back if they call, so they want to confirm that too...but also maybe the toys you are providing aren't what he wants at this age & he needs something that is more interesting & challenging & if you put him in say a play pen, then he probably wants his freedom too.
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Offline Jewell

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Re: indipendent playing 9 months old
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2007, 02:02:34 am »
it does seem to be SA for us...i think that it's the daycare that started it really now that i look back... :( oh well will ride this one out...LO was alot better today..he went into his room and then pulled all his books off his selves so that he could sit there a read them...only came back out to the lounge when i called to him ;) so he can play well by himself
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Offline vivy74

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Re: indipendent playing 9 months old
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2007, 12:49:11 pm »
Katet, probably you are right, the toys he as are not challenging enough. In fact if he found something "interesting" he plays alone. Today I let him play in the garden and he spent probably more than 15 minutes playing with gravel, shovel and bucket. I'll buy him something more interesting to play inside the house.
Thanks a lot.
Vivy
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