Mobility and sleep don't mix

[Niki&Isaac]

Amber and I had it nailed. She was tired by bedtime (7pm) and after her last feed I would lay her down, she would flip to her side and be asleep in minutes. No Dummy needed. Most Naps were like this too.
We had had a few problems in the past, but nothing major, and they usually sorted themselves out, or with some advise of the lovely ladies here it wouldn't take too long to correct.

Then, she learned to sit herself up. And now pull herself up to the bars.

And it seems I have hit my biggest challenge to date.

The bedtime routine is the same. She is tired by the usual time, bath, story, fed, lay in cot and ...
she sits up. She is as tired as always, most the time her eyes are rolling in her head whilst feeding, or even closed. Then - eyes wide open. If i leave her she cries (partly cos she hasn't mastered getting back down again if she has pulled herself up on the cot bars) if I go in lay her down again, she cries louder. If i leave her when she is sat she will play a little, then eventually stand and eventually cry.

If i hold her, and hold her arms a little when she is flailing then she will be asleep in minutes normally - but I feel she needs to learn to settle herself again (despite movement). We are relying on the dummy more often - although I limit it my best, I had hoped she's be off it completely by now. 

Daytime naps are also looking like they are going this way. Then when I finally get her to sleep (by method above) she sleeps for about 30 mins, instead of the usual 1.5 - 2 hours.

Presumably cuddling her to as close to sleep as poss is better than letting her cry. (I keep hearing "let her cry - she'll learn" advise, and I really don't want to - I haven't in the last 9 months, and I don't want to start now.)

Hubby and I don't know what to do for the best now. She is exhausted. And rather stubborn, yet a total angel when she's had enough sleep. HELP.
 

[maisy]

Hi there,

These pesky milestones play havoc with our babies sleep. Pulling up was one of the toughest for us, I would do a form of pick up put down (PU/PD) instead of picking her up just lay her down when she stands up. If she is playing in her cot just leave her, if it turns to crying go in and reassure her you are there and lay her down (I always managed a sneaky kiss on the head here for the first PD)  if she continues to be upset, stay in beside her and continue to lay her down when she pulls up.

You are doing the right thing by nit letting her cry. We can help you through this as much as we can, dont let her cry. I dont htink you will anyway as I can tell from your post that you really dont want to.

Let me know if you need any other help 

x x x x

[Niki&Isaac]

Any tips for PU/PD? I've heard it's tricky. I can find the section in the book now i know where to look.

Thank you so much, I have to admit i sat and had a little cry this morning. xx

[maisy]

Huge hugs to you. It is so tough when they arent sleeping as they used to . I know I have been there too.

I would say at your LOs age dont pick her up, if you just lay her straight down. I did Put down with my LO when she was 11 months and it was hard, but it will pass. So long as you stay with her until she is calm, sh ewill know you are there for her and that she is so loved.

Also she is just practising her new skill. Try to give her as much time throughout each dayas you can, for her to practise and really get her tired out. Keep being consistant with laying her down and she will get it.

x x x x

[October]

Niki,
Just wanted to jump in and tell you that my 10.5 mth old is going through this EXACT same phase. He's only sleeping 30 mins. in the am and has sometimes not managed a pm nap at all !! Poor guy is worn out.

I was also advised to let him work it out but he's a spirited determined guy and he will sit or stand for ages if I let him. I've been going in when his crying escalates and lying him down but he really needs to learn for himself at some point too. I'm practising that in the daytime.

In the meantime, my normally smiley happy guy is very tearful and tired all day long.

I am not enjoying this stage at all...horrible isn't it ?   

[Niki&Isaac]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way October. But
THANK GOD your having a crappy time too. I've just been in tears again with her trying out PU/PD it did only take 20 minutes, but now i don't know how long to leave her asleep for i've have tended to find if she sleeps much past 3.30 (in 5 minutes time) she doesn't want to go to bed at 7, then there will probably be an hour of struggling to get her to sleep on top of that.
I haven't read the whole section on PU/PD yet so i was really unsure of everything I did and just as i was thinking to myself "well she can't be tired then, maybe her naps are changing", i put her down and she rolled over and went to sleep.
SHe is a determined little thing, and VERY active, she is just learning to crawl now, but gets distracted by wanting to stand up as soon as she is at the foot of something she can pull herself up on. But she is sooo good. But she is so not happy at the moment.

Please tell me this stage won't last long? (hugs to you too!) xx

[October]

Niki,
I'm told 1-2 weeks but I know a mum whose babe the same age as Bubba has been stuck in bad naps for longer. Depends on the LO's temperament. We both have spirited LOs and I fully expect it to take us about 2 weeks in this house ! I try to leave my guy in the crib if he's really upset. I have picked him up once per nap and he settles better having had a cuddle but we have some SA mixed in here too.

Just do what you can to help Amber to sleep for longer to avoid O/T. Bubba has been to bed at 5.30pm twice this week and he isn't going past 6pm until he's filled up his sleep tank.

Good luck over the w/e...hopefully your DH is there to help.
Deb   

[Niki&Isaac]

Yeah, he's off work although he is helping some friends out moving house (returning a favour). Hubby just got home in fact, so now i can go dry my hair (that I washed at 11am) then start dinner.
I remember when Amber was few months old saying "It's not as hard as i expected" - Ha. That'll teach me. Thanks again, let me know how you get on xx

[meltown]

is your LO going through seperation anxiety?  if so you have to be a little more sesitive with the leaving part.  you just have to do it slower.  move closer and closer to the door.  she will learn that you will come back but it takes time for that learning curve.

[October]

Melissa, mine is but the lack of sleep is killing him. He's only had 2 30 min. naps today. He can't seem to get past that point and is waking so early from O/T. Should I put him back down when he stands/sits or leave him and just comfort him in whatever position he's in ?

How long will this last

Deb   

[meltown]

it's hard to say how long it will last.  what have you tried to extend the naps?  30 min usully means overtired for us so I would try things to try to extend naps by using Wake to sleep or something like that.  Also how long is the A time in between the 30 min naps?

[October]

Was thinking today to try w2s (og hapy memories of 45 min. napping !). His A times are 3-4 hrs depending. He won't go down before then........guess he's learning to dread bedtimes a little 'cos he's O/T........

We've a way to go....   

[meltown]

you may want to try cutting like 15 min off his A time.  my Lo is the same way will only do long A times no matter how long he slept.

[Niki&Isaac]

Whats wake to sleep, and when is it used?
We had a bit of fun with PU/PD last night, but it did work eventually. Then she went the night without her feed (we started to wean her off her nightfeed 3 nights ago) she did wake 3 times (11pm, 4am, 6am) but after a cry out she settled herself back to sleep. Result.
I love the methods of BW'ing, but i have to admit the book can be really hard to read, so many "if this is this way do this, and if it's this do that...."
Still thank goodness for the mods here.

[maisy]

Niki - I am thrilled that you have seen some results. PU/PD is emotionally difficult for you as your LO is crying, but you are there with her and helping her.

It is normal for them to have a couple of shout outs etc if it has taken a while for them to fall asleep. You have practically described my very first night of PU/PD! The very same.

Keep up the good work and keep us posted on how you are doing 

Deb- sorry you re going through a rough time too hun    short naps are no fun for either of you.

x x x x