New to EASY

[lcpopelka]

Hi all, my ds is 4.5 months and I'm about to pull out my hair with the short naps (averaging around 30 min).  His schedule is this:

8am Wake/Feed
8:30 Activity (nothing too crazy since he tires easily)
9:30/10am Put down to nap, he'll fuss for about 15 min, but then sleep for 30min
10:15/10:45am Activity (just to keep him occupied)
12:30 Feed
1pm Wind down to nap
1:30 Nap (sleeps fo 30 min)
2pm Activity
4pm (gets cranky very quickly. so I try a second nap here, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't)
4:30pm Feed
5/5:30 Naps (30 minutes)
6pm Activity (typically a walk)
7:30pm is bath/feed/bed

I'm figuring that he is getting too old for this feeding bit every 3 hours, so I am trying to lengthen the time between them to 4 hours.  But he sleeps GREAT at night (7:30-6am, feeds, and then back to bed until , so I don't want to mess that up working on his naps.  If he doesn't take his early afternoon nap, then we are both in a world of pain until I either plunk him into a carseat and go driving (which may/may not work) or wait it out until about 5/6pm when my husband comes home and gives me a bit of a break. I try to get him to fall back to sleep, but he just gets so mad being in his crib that it's either get him up and do some activity or let him CIO in his crib (which I don't like to do).  I've tried the EASY method for a bit but he has Physical therapy that he has to go to in the mornings that ruins him taking a longer nap in the morning, which I think snowballs the rest of the day as a result.

Someone please help!  It is so hard to hear him cry alllllll day!  And my family lives far away, so I'm pretty much on my own here.

Any suggestions, advice?

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

lcpopelka - what time is his physical therapy?  Does he do this every day?  How long has he been taking 30 minute naps?  When did you start lengthening the time between feeds?

Sorry for all the questions...just trying to see what advice I can give you   Hang in there!!

[lcpopelka]

Oh Anne, thank you for responding.  He goes to PT 3 times a week, at 11am.  He's been taking 30 minute naps forever--in fact, I think he has only slept longer about 5 or 6 times.  I am guilty of letting him sleep on me and rocking him to sleep before this just because it was easier than letting him cry, but it's getting too much and now I'm having to pay for it. 

I did JUST start him on 4 hours between feeds (think Saturday), but that really doesn't seem to be an issue at this point--he only gets cranky the last 30 minutes or so.  He did wake up this morning at 4:30 though and that hasn't happened in forever--he did go back to sleep and stayed asleep until I woke him at 8am...which I am now regretting very much.

It looks like my little guy is just a few days younger than yours--ao any and all advice you can offer is VERY much appreciated.

[lcpopelka]

Okay so now I'm really getting frustrated.  After months of sleeping through the night (9pm-6am, feed and then back to sleep until 9am) the past two nights he's woken up.  The first night was just once at 4am, but last night he woke up 4 times at 10, 11, 2, and 5.  I doubt that this is from short naps, but could it be because I lengthened the amount of time between feeds to 4 hours?  He does fine with this during the day, but at night he wakes up just famished!  Should I feed him more often in the early evening to tank him up for the night?  If I go in to comfort, he just smells me and gets hysterical.  So my husband was up with him last night at 5 and got him to go back to sleep.  I have not been df him because after he goes to bed at 7:30/8pm, he'll wake up at 9 hungry again.  Should I start his bedtime routine earlier so that he feeds for longer before going to sleep?  Help! This is really frustrating!

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

I am so sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday and I am sorry to hear things aren't going well.   If ds appears to get cranky before the 4 hours, I would go ahead and feed him.  A lot of bf babies never make it to a 4 hour EASY.  When you started the 4 hour EASY, did you drop a feed?  this might be the reason he is waking during the night.  I would, like you said, try to start the wind down a bit earlier and see if he'll feed longer.  This is what I do with my ds.  During the day i am lucky if I can get him to feed for 20 minutes (while he's bobbing on and off looking at everything around him) but his bedtime feed lasts at least 30 minutes.  Also, if you'd like, you can shorten the time between feeds in the afternoon, then do a top up right before bed.

I am happy to see dh is helping out.  It is important to have someone NOT smelling like milk comfort ds.  I wouldn't think ds would be waking from switching to a 4 hour EASY unless he really feels the change in routine.  It could very well be because his short naps are catching up to him. 

I hear ya on the AP...the only way ds used to sleep was on someone or next to someone.  Then I found BW and said, this needs to change!!  How is going to sleep now?  Does he sleep in his crib?  Does he fall asleep unassisted?

[lcpopelka]

I think I'll try a 3.5 hour EASY today (doctor's appt will make it happen that way anyways...) and see how that affects things...maybe it was too much for him to go from every 3 hours to 4.  And I think I will try to tank him up in the afternoon, and start his bedtime routine a bit earlier so that he has longer to nurse.

He's slept in his crib at night from day 1, and I've just started him sleeping there during the day too, using the pat/shush method, which is going okay.  He falls asleep within 20 minutes and typically at about the 15 min mark I will leave the room to let him work out the remainder on his own (he's such a busy body I think he stares at me in the dark blowing raspberries to no end so that I just become another distraction to him).  He just won't stay asleep for longer than 30/40 minutes, but he wakes up happy--he just goes back to sleep a lot sooner though with a shorter A time. 

Thanks Anne, I'll keep you posted. Lorena

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

A 3.5 hour EASY is a good idea...that way you don't end up dropping a feed.  DS was on that for about a month and a half before transitioning to the 4 hour EASY.  And I have noticed, too, that ds will take longer to fall asleep if I am in the room.  Now I just set him down and walk away.  He's pretty good about going to sleep on his own. He may babble for a couple of minutes but that's it.  I rarely have to go in and calm him (Of course saying that now will jinx me LOL ) Let me know how it goes!!

[lcpopelka]

So once again last night he woke up after being put to bed at 7:30pm.  The first was at 8:30 and my dh tried the PU/PD method 100 times.  Yes, he counted until 10:30 when I came in to feed lo for the recommended df.  Not sure if that was a good idea or not, but I wasn't sure how to handle df if ds never went down.  LO then woke up at 11:30, and dh only had to shh and put his hand on him for just about 5 minutes.  LO then woke up again at 2am and once again dh was there on hand to shh/pat.  This time it took almost 40 minutes, but we are refusing to feed ds at night--which he knows.  DS then woke up at 5:15 and chirped for about 15 minutes but then was able to settle himself by himself.  Up again at 7am, and I fed him, which is normal.  I let him sleep in this morning until 8:30 (normally up at because he was soooo tired.  Again, not sure if that was a wise decision.

I guess my next big question is this--I would rather he not df at 10pm, but rather wake up at 5/5:30am to eat, so that I don't lose my milk in the shower I take in the am prior to his next 8am feed.  Does anyone else have this issue?  Is this possible to do in the perfect world where all the stars align? 

He did go down for his morning nap at 9:45, but we'll have to see just how long it lasts.

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

Sorry to hear the other night was crazy!!    How long have you been doing the df?  There is no rule that says you HAVE to do it.  You can certainly cut it out in hopes of having ds wake in the morning for a feed, but it may take a little bit to get hiim to sleep until 5 am.  How did last night go?  And how were the naps??

[lcpopelka]

Last night he got into bed late (our fault completely) at around 8:00pm.  He then woke up at 8:45, and I was able to shh/pat him to sleep after about 10 minutes.  He then woke up again at 12pm, and dh went in to comfort him-that took about 10min.  DS then woke up at 4am, and dh was able to get him to go back to sleep in about 30min.  He then slept until 6am when I fed him, and he awoke complete at 7:45am.

So I guess I should ask...when he wakes up at 6 or 7am should I just get him up, feed and then do some sort of activity with him until his first nap?  This may sound like a dumb question, but how do you take a shower/get ready for your day when he's up and at 'em already?  Because if I let him sleep he starts his day with a ESEASA(because he's still not napping for the recommended time)E, and that looks nothing like EASY!  It's still these darn naps that are ruining it!

Napping yesterday started well--asleep by 9:45 (today he's down at 9:15), but then I couldn't do the second sleep cycle when he woke up at 10:40 because he had his PT appt.  So almost an hour--which is improving.  He then took another nap at 12:30-1:30, and I couldn't get him back down.  But then his next nap was at 4:30-5:30.  So 3 naps, of 3 hours total.  When he wakes up he's not sleepy looking at all--total smiles and grins, kicking and acting totally rested...until he crashes 1hr to 1.5 hours later.

Does this look like improvement???

[lcpopelka]

Oh my God, I am so happy I could cry.  DS woke up after 45 min and I went up there shh/pat for a few mintues, but he was still crying.  So I did 1--just 1--PU/PD and he fell back to sleep.    Could this be happening?  Are all the stars aligning?  Did Hell freeze over?  I need to knock on wood.  Where's some wood?  I am giddy with excitement--no one could have ever told me that I would one day pray for something like this--not world peace, not to feed the hungry--but to make a 4 month old boy fall back to sleep. LOL

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

That most certainly looks like an improvement  

As for starting ds's day early, that is completely up to you.  I usually don't start my ds's day until 7 am unless he for some reason is up crying early and i can't get him to go back down.  There is nothing wrong with feeding him at 6 am and treating it as a night waking. Unless you are going back to work (or you already work) and you will be shifting his schedule earlier, I would still try to keep him in bed until 8 am (or at least 7:30 - even if you hear him up - as long as he isn't crying).  Yesterday morning, I heard ds up at 6:30 playing, but I left him and he fell back to sleep until I got him at 7:00.  That is totally your call.  And as for the shower thing, I find myself showering at night so I don't have to worry about getting one in during the day

LOL!!  Good job on extending the nap!!  WOOPEE!!  Go celebrate!!

[lcpopelka]

Yesterday went really well. 2 hour nap in am, and 2 45min ones in the pm, plus a little catnap at 6:30-7:00.  Last night he slept really well--in bed by 9 (was totally falling asleep at 8 and then I sneezed! Can you believe it?), woke up at almost 5am to feed.  Back to sleep until 7:45am.  This is still not as good as our nights were before, but not bad.

He is still waking up after 45 min during his naps, only that once did I get him to go back to sleep.  Dumb question for you, Anne, but do you swaddle Roman at all?  My son while he has certainly located his fingers, they are more of a distraction to him than not.  He'll suck loudly on them (1-2 fingers, or sometimes all at once) and wake himself up more, but I do get the feeling that he likes to have his hands free...While I would love to just put him in the crib as is, I currently have to swaddle him.  I've tried going in there early to hold down his arms or to lay my hand on him for reassurance prior to the "jolt" but that was a disaster (our floors creak in certain spots and it's like walking through a mine field) and he woke up and couldn't go back down.  Yesterday I tried him in just a sleeper for the late pm nap, but he woke up and was grabbing his feet with his free hands and sucking on his fingers--while I let him play in the crib for the prescribed amount of time, he certainly wasn't sleeping... what to do, what to do?

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

Well yesterday looks pretty good!  I think that's progress!  I no longer swadlle Roman, but I did up until a few weeks ago (3 or 4 maybe?) because he kept coming unswaddled in the middle of the night, sometimes waking up 4 times in one hour so I couldn't take it anymore!!  We use a sleep sack currently.  Have you tried just swaddling with one arm out?  Maybe that would help..he'll still have access to his hand, but both hands won't be swinging around and he probably won't play with his feet any longer.

[lcpopelka]

DS sleeps in a sleep sack, only it is the kind that swaddles both arms too.  Just tried the one arm out and I have to say that didn't work very well.  His other hand kept popping up (this is what wakes him up after the 45 minute mark, only typcially it's both hands coming out of the swaddle) It's the loud sucking on his fingers that wakes him up...We tried him without the sleep sack about 3 weeks ago and that was a disaster..How did you wean Roman from the whole swaddle gig?