How do I calm my SUPER busy 24 month old before bed????!!!!!!!

[crazycanuck]

Hey all,

I have read the suggestions in the wind down routines.......
I am wondering if other mom's of super busy kids have some tricks up their sleeves that may help me out!!!

My DS has never been a great sleeper - even BW to death!  He still wakes once or twice in the night but not for long.....Has never slept 12hrs at night either - usuallly between 10-10.5 avg.  He goes down for his nap great - usually between 11:30-12:30 and no longer than 1.5hrs because its too much for him.

Soooo - bedtime has become a struggle lately - he is not falling asleep until 9pm almost - takes him a long long time to get down - even with a long bath - he won't sit still if I try to read him books to calm him - he gets more wound up ........the only things i can think of to help out is bath and then maybe some short cartoon/video - that has always worked and is one of the few things he will sit still for..........do you think its a bad habit to get into though?? I am concerned its a bad habit to start.......he is in a big boy bed and there have been no issues wit him getting out - just takes hime forever to fall asleep so he get's bored and ancy and whines.........should I just move the bath earlier and put him down earlier?? so if it takes a long time he falls asleep earlier??

Sorry for the rant!!! We never had issues with him taking sooooo long to fall asleep and being so wound up........and we have number two coming so I want to get it sorted out!!!

Thanks

sarah

[Mum to cool dude]

You might like to check the sticky "toddlers' winddown routine" in the toddlers' sleep board (sorry, I cannot copy the link - my top toolbar has gone)

For us, it's bath, then stories (I know that doesn't work for your LO but perhaps you could have songs instead), then the lights go off, we have a cuddle in bed together then I leave (we used to have Beethoven off when I left).

Then it takes DS a good half hour of talking to fall asleep by 9 pm. Believe me, that's an improvement on his previous 9.30 - 10 pm !

[daybyday]

We don't watch a bunch of TV in our house...so I do NOT feel guilty letting him wind down with 20 mins of "toons" before bed...

(it's also time for me to get DD sorted out)....

We Eat dinner, play, then bath....he watches a few cartoons and has snack. Then we brush teeth, pee, read stories, say prayers and lights out...That's been our routine for a long time now...

So in my opinion...a short cartoon to help calm him is okay...I know with my busy little man predictability, consistency and routine are absolutely necessary.....I also give him his "warnings"...aka...in five mins we're having a bath, after bath it's snack and toons....during toon time I'll say, in five mins we're gonna brush teeth...etc....

Good luck! HTH!

[crazycanuck]

thanks everyone so far.....

well tonight we had a bath - brushed our teeth and then got jammies on etc., and then i sat in bed with him and read some books and let him take them and let him have a drink of water......it went well until he started hopping all over the bed and wouldn't sit still - I put an end to my presence when he started trying to kick me in the face..........so that was it for me.......told him it was time for bed kisses etc., and left.........we play white noise softly as well.........so tonight it got worse and he got out of bed for the first time and tried to get out of his room - i went in and sternly said no  its time for bed and put him back in his bed and told him to lay down for night night.......and he is still fussing..........so i think it might be another hour yet again before he calms down and goes to sleep..........grrrr......

might have to resort to watching the toons.........

sarah

[*Natasha*]

Sarah did this start when he went into his new bed?

[crazycanuck]

nope not really - it started before the big boy bed......and tonight is the first time he has ever tried to get out....but def started before that.........

he's just not tired enough it seems.....but he doesn't sleep as much at night already as most kids so it can't be that he is sleeping too long at night - kwim?

i limit his daytime naps to 1.5hrs and not up after two o'clock......if he is up after that he is sooooo grouchy and really isn't tired because he's hardly been up........i just don't know what to do with him

i don't want to put him to bed later because all the literature i have read says kids that go to bed later than 8 o'clock are commonly tired all the time and don't get the appropriate rest which affects many aspects of their life......i wouldn't mind the later bedtime if he slept more at night

do you think i should just let him sleep in the day time??? or limit naps??? my experience is def taht he is really grouchy if he sleeps too long or too late in the day.....


argh.........might try the toons tomorrow night and see if it helps......got to be better than him fussing in tehre for an hour which is what happened again -he fussed from 7:45 until 8:45and we went in three times to tell him it was night night .......

sarah

[daybyday]

honestly...my DS went through it too...our bedtime routine is not perfect and some nights we do the bedtime battle for an hour...tonight he didn't come out once! yesterday it was 4 times...

I would try different wind down routines before cutting down naps...that's my opinion. My DS needs a consistent predictable routine that is somewhat SHORT...I mean, snack, toons, teeth, stories and prayers are all done in about 45 mins...TOO much story time overstimulates him. And he has to be limited, 3 stories, no more!

My DS is also a notoriously short sleeper, never does 12 hours and has never napped longer than 2 hours EVER.....He (believe it or not) is getting better, the last 2 months have been a huge leap forward in regards to sleep. He was severely disrupted by most changes in his life, and learning to speak really took its toll on him.

How's his developmental milestones? Now that ours have slowed down, I think he's sleeping much better. Just a thought..?

[Mum to cool dude]

We did have to cut down on the nap but DS is close to 3 YO and I think 2 YO is a bit young for that.

[Wilsmon]

Does he get plenty of opportunity during the day to exercise, run around etc?   Our ds is 2 1/2 gets up at 6:15-6:30, naps from 1 1/2 to sometimes 3 hrs on the weekends (goes to a babysitter), we do bath every other night at 7:30, up stairs at 8:00 and asleep by 8:30.  The kids will play in their rooms for a little while doing flash cards, books whatever. 

Are you sure limiting his naps during the day is better? Could he actually be over tired?

Our ds is also still in a crib (by design  .  Recently, I have been letting him keep a book in bed after lights out (he has a night light) but go in later and take it out.  Maybe, you need to start your wind down earlier?

[Colin Macs Mom]

Sarah, I find that Colin is exactly the same if he should have gone to bed earlier. Not quite overtired, but more tired than he should be if that makes sense.

[crazycanuck]

Logans milestones are pretty avg - he talks maybe a tad more than others but generally he is avg I would say....

During the day he gets TONS of exercise - two walks and lots of running around at the sitters.......he LOVES to be outside....

Logan's naps are fine really - he still has the same going to bed issues if he has a good long nap- he will sleep from anywhere between 1 - 2.5hrs - we definately find though - if I let him sleep past 2pm or longer than 2hrs he is sooooooo cranky when he wakes - but earlier and no more than two hours he is in a great mood when he wakes - occasionally - like today - he sleep only an hour at the sitters due to who knows what - I don't want to cut back naps either so tonight we tried a bath at 7pm then jammies teeth and a short stint of wiggles - so far so good - he has gone down SOOOOOOOOOOO much better!!!!!!!!

My concern about the short video though is this - I have a new baby coming and a husband that works shift work........when he is not home and baby is screaming to eat - I won't be able to sit with him to watch the short cartoon........do you think by then he will be able to sit alone with be on the couch next to him??? 

I am thinking - start as you mean to go on - something like that - kwim??? Don't want to start the video thing if we can't proceed later on.......

My other concern is he went down so much better because he had such a short nap???

THanks so much for you help guys

[daybyday]

My concern about the short video though is this - I have a new baby coming and a husband that works shift work........when he is not home and baby is screaming to eat - I won't be able to sit with him to watch the short cartoon........do you think by then he will be able to sit alone with be on the couch next to him??? 

I am thinking - start as you mean to go on - something like that - kwim??? Don't want to start the video thing if we can't proceed later on.......

My other concern is he went down so much better because he had such a short nap???

THanks so much for you help guys

It is POSSIBLE he went down better due to a shorter nap...My DS has never been a consistent napper...meaning..some days it's an hour, some it 2 etc...but keep an eye out for overtiredness.

As for "start as you mean to go"...your DS is going to be older than mine was when our DD came along, but my experience was nothing stays the same...HONEST...with the bestest of intentions....it will change...we had a short honeymoon period where things seemed to be going smoothly and then when DD was about 8wks...all hell broke loose...He began to fight bed, pretty much saying well she's up, why can't I be? etc....or demanding of my attention at the bedtime hour, when I was home by myself and couldn't exactly just "get rid of" the baby so to speak... (my DH works shift work too)....And if you're nursing...I learned to nurse with a very FULL lap...but he will adjust and learn to sit for periods of time by himself.

And I find my DS's sleeping habits COMPLETELY different from 24 months to 28 months. Good luck and just keep an eye on his cues...

HTH...anything...just let me know...

[Colesmom]

Sarah-Not sure I have anything to add, but let me tell you about my nights...just so you can see you're not alone.

I have mentioned to you that Cole gives me 11 total hour of sleep. Well, the last two days it's been 10
A sample day:

7:00 wake
nap at school is anywhere from 12:30-2:30...the last two days 1:30-2:30
Dinner between 6:30-7:00.  (We get home at 6:00, so unless I am super organized, that is the earliest)

Play time-varies.  Cole takes at least an HOUR to get into bed from the time we go upstairs.  Doesn't matter if we have full bath or "sink" bath as I call it.  so I do my math....hmmmm, 7am wake, 1 hour nap, means 9pm sleep so upstairs by 8. Of course, I had him in bed between 9-9:15 last night...and he should have been totally knackered, right?  he certainly looked tired.  Didn't fall asleep until 9:45pm.  Now, I am in the room, holding his hand through the crib rails.  This is something I have come to accept.  Why? Because it works.  I just cannot do another stint of sleep training.  I have listened to him cry and cry and cry for two years.  He too has been BWd to death.  Anyway, that's another thread.

After bath or sink bath...we go to his room.  He fights getting dressed.  I try to relax.  Recently he wants to play with cars in his room.  Which is fine.  Problem is he wants to continue playing cars and THEN read books and by then it's far too late.  If I read a book he wants more books.   You see where I'm going here?  I know I have to limit him.  But I also feel I need to listen to him.  If I put him in his crib too early, he cries.  I have TRIED earlier bedtime.  Gosh, if I tried to get him down by 8, he'd be crying for two hours, seriously.

Anyway, I wish you luck.  This is my story.  I wanted to see your routine to see if it needed tweaking...but looks about right.  It's not like he's having a 3 hour nap and waking in the night.  1.5 hours is totally normal.

I know for me, until i allowed the later bedtime, he was waking.  And it burns me that it works.  Because like you, all the reading I've done says earlier bedtime etc.

I have to ask you this:

Is he happy?
Is he thriving?

Until someone posed those questions to me I was worried. Then I realized that sleep is Cole's ONLY issue.  he speaks incredibly well, eats well, has great hand-eye co-ordination, is creative, is a joy to be around.

so, I finally, finally had to give in on having him fit the "average".

If Logan goes to sleep at 9, what time does he wake in the morning.  And is there a pattern to his nightly wakings?

*phew* that is long enough.  at least you've done the big bed transition.  oh the fun i expect in the next month or so when we try that!

[Wilsmon]

Just a thought/suggestion. I think the reason my ds (30 months) goes to bed without much hassle is b/c it is the only time/place he gets his paci (I am pretty sure he will go to kindergarten still getting his paci at night  - just enjoying the sleep too much  ). 

Do your ds's have lovey's?  I am wondering if it would help if they had a certain lovey or something that the rule was it stayed in the crib and they only get it at nap time or bedtime.  Might make them more eager to go to bed. 

[daybyday]

My DS has lovies that STAY in his room...they are only for sleeping...as well as...My DS has NOTHING in his room. Literally, his bed, dresser, a few books. Otherwise he would be overstimulated and want to play. Some nights my DS takes longer to go to bed. But after bath, that's his cue...no more play time. wind down only...(snack, toons, books...)