Help with 2 year old - independent play?

[kendraak]

I was wondering how I could help my 2 year old learn to play more independently. He is out of the house 2 and a half days per week while I'm at work and really seems to enjoy playing at Mother's Day Out with the other children. He also loves playing on Sundays at church and cries because he doesn't want to come home.

My problem is on Mondays/Fridays when we are home- he almost acts bored. He wants me to sit and play with him, but if I need to do anything else, he follows me around. He loves to "help" when I'm doing housework and cooking (and I try to find tasks that he can help with) He never just wants to play by himself. I realize that 2 year old attention spans aren't very long, but his 7 month old sister can sit and play by herself for longer than he can!

I'm sure this is pretty normal- today has just been a rough day. He's been "testing the limits" all morning and my patience is gone! Does anyone have any tips for helping him learn to play on his own?

Thanks!
Kendra

[BabyBsMommy]

Hmmmnn... that is tough on you, I bet!  My DS is almost 21 months old and he is getting better at this.  Have you tried sitting with him and getting started, then saying something like, "Mommy is just going to go and ___________ for a few minutes, I'll come right back to see how you are doing"?  Maybe start at that and even just 30s and then making the time longer and longer.  I also found saying to him something like - why don't you go and build a nice tower for Mommy and come and get me so I can see it when you are done - often will send him toddling over to his blocks and he gets into playing with them for a while.  I don't know if that helps much....  I'll try to think of some other ideas!

[PeepersMom]

funny I was just hopping on the boards to ask the same question.  I am home with DS full time and he can't do more than a few minutes by himself.  At a playground and playgroups he is fine. 

I will be interested in the responses.

[kendraak]

Thanks for the reply BabyB'sMommy! I'll have to try that tomorrow and see how he does. You are smart to start doing that BEFORE you have your second baby.

I'm going to check out some of the other threads about toys/activities for 2 year olds too. Maybe we need to do some different activites that will hold his attention better.

Kendra

[BabyBsMommy]

DS is starting to get big into "role-playing" toys - ie. his little shopping station, his fisher price garage and airport.  He also likes to put his finger puppets into his trucks and drive them around or put different "loads" into his dumptruck and them drive them around and dump them out.  I think the role playing things keep their attention a bit longer.  This is where the mega-blocks have really helped to keep him busy, too!

[PeepersMom]

well for the first time today I tried this tact and it worked for a little while... so maybe you could give this a try.

I put DS down in the backroom with a very large pile of books, he also has many beloved toys back there and pillows that he likes to pretend to make a car out of (vivid imagination...) anyway, I told him to read some books and play with his toys while I went to fix dinner.  He stayed back there quite a while - for him.  About 15 minutes later he came down the hallway with his fire truck and he wasn't whining or crying for me.  Not too bad for a first try.

Meg

[BabyBsMommy]

Yay!  Keep at it and praise, praise, praise!!!!! 

[kendraak]

I tried playing with him in his room and doing the "I'm going to ___, I'll be back in a minute" and as soon as I leave the room he's right there after me. Even if it's only to throw something away, or brush my teeth, etc. So I guess I'll keep trying.

[Beata]

Just jumpng in here...but I think it's totally age appropriate. I think if he's at pre-school then the need to be around you might be more pronounced, but it's normal for 2 year olds who stay home too!

I've found - recently - that if I can just sit and play for a little while - and by that I mean REALLY engage and forget about the things you want to do, ie chores, etc    -  my dd will accept when I say, " now mommy needs to get the laundry, cook dinner, ake bed, e-mail, etc.

{{HUGS}} and good luck. I know some days are better than others

[Two mummies]

The most success we have had with getting Riley to engage in independent play has involved water! She's obsessed with it at the moment and as long as you fill up her teapot with water she is happy to play for up to half an hour or until the water runs out!

Other than that sometimes she will go off an play by herself but that's pretty rarely self-initiated and usually means she will get up to no good! That horrible awareness that its far too quiet all of a sudden and you'll usually find her eating soap in the bathroom or taking all the CD's out of their cases 

I don't think its possible for 2 year olds to amuse themselves for more than 30 mins and I also don't think it's possible for most of them to do this several times a day!

Soph

[PeepersMom]

I thought it was hard, too, but in the BW toddler book she says that 10 month olds should be able to play 40 min independently. 

we are doing a little better here, as well because we built him a fort in the back room.  He loves it.  it is 10-15 min here and there, but it is workng for now.

I agree that the intensive play for 10-15 min with me helps me get away for about 10-15min as well. 

Meg

[BabyBsMommy]

Intensive play with mommy/daddy work well here, too.  It is a rare day at 20 months that DS will play on his own for 40 min and it is definitely not a consistent thing.  Somedays he'll go lots on his own, others he is glued to us.  Just the way it is, I think!

[Mom to M&M]

To be honest, I don't know too many toddlers who will play for 40 minutes on their own. DD will at someone else's house or the like (new toys) but at home she gets bored after 10-15 minutes tops. Puzzles are a big hit here (only problem is that DD has gotten too good at them and can whiz through even harder ones quite fast).

[kendraak]

Well we've had a little success playing independently with play-dough and coloring! We have a little table in the kitchen and he will do these activities and stay interested long enough for me to unload the dishwasher or throw in a load of laundry, etc. (not for 40 minutes by any means!!  ) So that's been helpful. He and his sister are also starting to enjoy "playing" together. Of course I have to keep an eye on them.

It's also nice to know that that's how other 2 year olds are too! Thanks everyone for your replies!

Kendra

[Beata]

Hi ladies...I've realized recently that I have to have Cate's books/toys/etc...definitely out where she sees them. She does not "seek" things to keep her busy, but when, like Meg, I take her and say play with these things while I "_____" then she'll be independant for a bit.


Did maybe Tracy mean 40 minutes during an entire day? I can't imagine a 10 onth old just playing for 40 minutes alone. Hmmm food for thought.

[Lissybits]

I have the same problem with my 21mo DS - he won't play for more than 15 mins by himself. I start work at 3pm and have to make sure everthing is done and organised for when DH comes home and takes over.
We have a routine in the mornings. After breakfast and after we're dressed, I devote my time to playing with him and then at 10.30am (snack time) I cut up his fruit and he'll sit and watch a 'Thomas The Tank Engine' DVD while he munches on his fruit. During that I'm running round like a headless chicken doing laundry, tidying up and cooking lunch ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!
After about 30 mins he'll get bored and come and find me - but it's usually enough time to do the bare necessities.
Obviously, it's not absolutely ideal to "stick" him infront of the box, but it's the only thing that keeps him occupied for enough time for me to cook.
After the dinner is cooked, we always go out to the park or for a walk to work up a good appetite and tire him out for his after lunch nap, so then I don't feel soo bad!
But I would welcome alternative ideas to keep him busy!