bedtime troubles with 21 month old

[ellie2323]

There are so many things wrong with my son's bedtime right now...

Since May or so he has been sleeping with us.  It started slowly with just moving him in to our bed when he'd wake up in the middle of the night to now where he will only go to sleep in our bed, with me there laying down with him.  It often takes 1.5 hours AFTER bath and books and everything else for him to go to sleep.  He also does this thing which drives me nuts... he will stand up on the bed, put his arms straight up in the air, growl and fall straight forward, and he will do this endlessly.  No reaction will stop it.   

This summer I was working extra hours and my husband was taking care of him and not following any routine.  If I came home at 1030 pm my son would still be up, no bath, etc.  Because of that he has gotten into a very late sleep habit which means I am having no time for myself, so that's also decreasing the sanity factor. 

I want to move him back into his own room but am not sure if I should move him back into his crib or if I should transition him from our bed to a big boy bed (since he's used to a normal bed the crib might make him bonkers).  But since there are so many aspects of his bedtime that are bonkers, I'm not sure where to start.   

I'm also thinking that I should move his bedtime earlier.  I usually take him up to the room at about 745 or 8pm for books but it's often 10 before he's asleep... sometimes 1030.  I'm wondering if he's too wound up by then.  Sometimes I catch him rubbing his eyes at 7ish.

He still naps about 1.5 hours per day and goes down well for naps, for me and for his daycare folks.  Eats very well and is active so I don't think there are health issues.  I've almost always had nighttime sleep issues with him except for a few brief months where he would go to sleep on his own in his crib... this mess started after he got sick and I was working lots and didn't have the energy to deal with nighttime wakings, thus, bringing him into bed with us.

Any advice???

[Layla]

Hi

Can you tell me what time he wakes at the moment & what time the nap is? As for the bed.... I would probably try the crib to start with & see how you go for a few weeks before trying the big bed.... but then again you might want to do it all at once  .... not sure about the cot or bed (will think about that more)

If you can tell me what the rest of the day looks like that would be great! We'll help you get your son back on track

[ellie2323]

He usually wakes at around 7:30 or 8 and his nap is most often at 12:30, and for about an hour and a half.

I haven't tried any move yet but am trying to get bed time in my bed more calm... and have tried a new lullabye cd that seems to help with the routine.  He's now falling asleep anywhere between 9 and 10 but I think that is still too late...

[momofclaire]

Hi Ellie,
Welcome to the BW boards!

I agree that 9-10 is too late. My daughter is 22 months and her routine is:
8:00 wake
1:00 nap (1.5-2 hours)
8:00 bedtime
She has generally needed a bit more sleep than most. 
If your son wakes at 8:00 it is possible that a bedtime of 9:00 might be ok, as long as he has that nap. I think the average for that age is 11 or 11.5 overnight and 1.5 during the day.

I think you might have a difficult time getting him back in his room as he has been enjoying the comfy big bed with mommy and daddy.  There is no real expertice behind this opinion but I would suggest going with the big boy bed and making a HUGE deal out of it as a way to entice him out of your room and into his cool new bed! 

Anyway, hugs, and as Layla said, we will try to help you through this.
Myia

[zed]

Another option for you could be to wake your son right at 7.  Take him outside after breakfast and run the ens out of him and then lunch & nap him.  When he wakes, run him out again, dinner, crazy hour (that is what we call the hour between bath and bed here, we encourage our kids to go nuts), bath, light snack then wind down routine.  You may be able to put him in bed around 8 or shortly after and have him asleep between 8:30 and 9.  Lots of luck to you.

[momofclaire]

Crazy hour eh?  I might have to try that.  We call the hour right before dinner the "witching hour," as generally we have an unhappy toddler and a stressed out mama!

[zed]

Crazy hour eh?  I might have to try that.  We call the hour right before dinner the "witching hour," as generally we have an unhappy toddler and a stressed out mama!

That is funny