Author Topic: Support for Raising Spirited Babies  (Read 55929 times)

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Offline Site Admin Team

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Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« on: September 27, 2007, 13:17:11 pm »
Welcome to our spirited support thread for babies.  Please jump right in and introduce yourself.  We hope you'll enjoy discussing the ups and downs of raising spirited babies with other babywhisperer members.  In order to keep this thread on topic, please limit your conversation here to that which pertains to raising spiriteds.  Kimberly will be overseeing this thread to make sure it stays on topic and guide members to post issues outside the scope of this thread on our other forums.  When this thread grows too long to manage, another will be started in its place. Happy chatting!  :)
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Offline benandmichelle

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2007, 07:52:51 am »
Hi all...I'll start.
I'm Michelle and my son Ben is 3.5months and spirited.
I am really glad you have managed to open this site because I really think spirited babies are a breed unto themselves. Books could (and have been) written for them alone. Nothing prepared me for a spirited as my first baby and to be honest the first 3 months have been hell. It is still very hard but the initial shock has worn off. I don't know what I would have done without the bw books and forum. I wanted to write more on the other thread and when I saw it was going to be closed , my heart sank. But here we have another chance!
Anyway, enough chit chat. I hope I can meet some of you mums of spirited LO's and you can help me out. I will post again soon with details about our 'routine'   ;) and problems etc....
Lorna (Lawnseed) are you going to be joining this thread too?? I hope so because I have read a lot of your advice and I think it is great!

Looking forward to meeting you all
Michelle
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Offline skatty

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2007, 12:58:15 pm »
Hello, I'm Katt and mum to the extremely spirited Leorah who will be one in a week today  :) Wow we have had some ups and downs in the past year that only another mum of a spirited could understand but I also see an intelligent, curious and very fearless little person amazing me everyday  ;) Sleep has to be the biggest challenge we have had and I am saying that on a day of two 30 minute naps   ::) I'm sick of these early bedtimes she has to have, it's like a vicious circle because she'll then sleep 13 hours and won't nap enough in the day again. Looking forward to getting to know all of you that will be on thios board and hope we can support and advise each other  :-*

I have to go and see to my little screamer now  ;D
Katt






Offline lawnseed

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2007, 14:49:05 pm »
Hello - my name is Lorna :)
I have two spirited LOs, but as this is the baby thread, I shall only introduce Eden. She is 6 months old and a delight as I have been doing BW since day 1 (not always easy, but definitely worth it!) Main reason for suspecting Eden is spirited is her inability to shut her eyes unless she's in pitch black, and her ability to just keep going through extreme exhaustion if she's not in bed!!
Current issue is fighting the cat-nap and OT NWings if she has a day where naps don't happen well (If I miss her window because I'm trying to escape the house!)

Looking forward to meeting you all!

(and thanks Michelle - I feel loved!!!)


Offline skatty

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2007, 19:01:14 pm »
Oh is it only a thread for babies? I guess Leorah is a toddler now but I could still sure do with some support and perhaps mums of spirited toddlers/older kids can offer advice and relate experiences  :)

Lorna do you think that the spiritedness is genetic? The reason I ask is that my family (mum, dad etc) tell me Leorah is exactly how I was and they think it's hilarious that I am having payback time with my half pint handful lol!!
Katt






Offline Diegos Mama

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2007, 23:19:15 pm »
There is a spirited thread in the preschooler forum for the older spiriteds.
:)
Laura

Offline violetmum

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2007, 03:11:01 am »
Hi everyone,

I've just read "Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" and I was thrilled to read the description of spirited babies -- finally, someone understands my Violet! As you can guess, we're having some sleep issues (night waking and short naps, specifically). We're going to start working on EASY as soon as my husband reads the relevant parts of the book, so that we're on the same page.

I'll be back with tons of questions once we start. In the meantime, I'm curious about the specific adaptations you all have made in your EASY routines to accommodate your spirited tykes. From reading other posts, it sounds like I'll need to do longer transitions into nap and bedtime?

Glad to find you all here!

Offline Deb_in_oz

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2007, 04:20:36 am »
just thought i would jump in while you are still on page 1.  for anyone new to BW or not aware of the recent changes, all the old spirited info was archived. here is a link to it for you to read through in your "spare" time.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62650.0

all of the ladies in the early tens of pages on that thread are now showing up on the preschoolers and beyond spirited cihildren thread, but you can see we all survived and so did our babies  ;)  as your lo get older feel free to look over there to see what is coming up (especially as your spirited babies become verbal - whoa can they negotiate and talk and talk and talk  ;D)
Debra - a New Yorker living in Australia married to a Brit

dd1 - Textbook/Angel, born July 2003
dd2 - Spritied through & through, born Feb 2005

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Offline lawnseed

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2007, 19:40:06 pm »
Hi all :) - thanks for the link Debra

Skatty - i think it probably is genetic as are many character traits! I think I'm going to be blaming my husband, but my mum tells me I was a nightmare to get to sleep, so maybe twas I, too ;)

Violetmum - So glad you've found BW!! It's great! How old is Violet? I've found that with Eden I needed a longer transition when she was younger, but as she's got used to it it's actually got shorter and shorter. Now, I spot her tired signs, hold her close and rock while I'm still downstairs for about 2 mins, pop upstairs, switch the light off (PITCH black even in day time!) hold her for another 30secs and she gets so annoyed with me interfering in her drifting off to sleep that she pushes me away and I have to leave her to it It took a LONG time to get to that stage, though, or it felt it  :) I would say another key is consistency though - decide on the routine pre nap/sleep and stick to it. That really seemed to help me as I was trying to figure out what she wanted and kept changing things, which really made her mad when she was around 2 months old! Let us know how you get on!

Lornax


Offline hannahbanana

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2007, 22:48:10 pm »
I am simply losing my mind today.  My DD is 4 months old, and on days like today, moments like now, I can't enjoy her because I'm so frustrated (and angry).

I've been trying to do this BW EASY thing since about 3-4 weeks.  I feel like giving up.  We got through the screaming before naps phase, but that's about it.  I feel like I haven't accomplished anything.  I felt like, maybe, we were making progress about a week ago when she took a total of four naps (all week) that were over an hour.  This week we've had almost exclusively 30 minute naps, with 20 minute naps thrown in for good measure, with a sprinkling of 45 mins.

I should be thankful, I know, that she sleeps pretty well at night.  But, that said, our crappy naps are even affecting that now, since I believe being tired while eating is partly why she's been waking at night to feed lately (there's also been a growth spurt).

I feel part of my frustration is BW, with it's teachings that babies need to take these long naps.  I feel, every day, that we're somehow failing, not getting things "right."  Sometimes I wish I'd never started any program and "accidental parent"ed my way through like many of my friend.  Maybe I would feel saner right now.

That said, I really, really appreciate this wonderful, supportive online community of women.  Reading the posts encourages me to stick with a little longer...but I really thought it would be sorted by now.  And sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice in not following Babywise (which is a CIO plan), since friend who've used it have saner households and their kids seem just fine.  (I really don't want to use CIO, though.)

I have to go attend to little Miss. 

I wish I could get past this so motherhood could be more of a joy, so that when people ask, "How is it?" I can say, "great" instead of "hard."
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Offline Kimberly®

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2007, 01:09:08 am »
Hi Ladies. Some of you may know me from this sight. I joined when DD was 2 weeks old and I was pulling my hair out trying to figure her out. DD is now 2 yeears old, and she was a very spirited baby, now she is a spirited toddler. She is an Angel/Spirited now, she used to be Spirited/Angel. Months of work changed that.

You can do it. :)

Don't give up. Its a lot of hard work thats true, but it's really worth the effort.

Key things to remember when you have a spirited baby

1) its not your fault Many mom's think its their fault, they're spirited, or to much caffine during pregnancy, or breastfeeding. Its not true. Your LO's temperment is not due to anything you did or didn't do.
2) its not their fault They're not trying to be difficult, and in fact with time and patients from parents it can get easier. Spirited LO's just need a little more attention then some.
3) More time and energy is spent, and its easy to get discuraged. It takes a lot of time but when you see the result (and you will see them) its worth it.
4) Never give up
5) Spirited LO's are harder to read, but once you can things get easier.

I vividly remember DD at her worst and it was a challenge everyday. Somedays I questioned if I could really do it. EASY took a long time to sort out since her tired signs were very hard to read. It was about 4 months before things started to fall into place. Thats when I finally could really read her. Things got easier as time passed, though it was still a battle at times. Still is at times.

DD is now more Angel then spirited because I have learned to read her better, I can often get to her before a blow out occurs. I know that her spirited side is just under the serface, and its often rears its head, but now I know how to handle it.

You too will all learn how to read your baby. Its hard, and it takes time, and a lot of practice. Rules need to be bent at times. PU/PD for example is not a good idea for spirited LO's, but you can still do pat/shh, if that gets to stimulating then there's always a hand on the back. Things like music boxes, mobiles and swings need to be avoided more for Spirited LO's as they can easily get overstimulated. We took DD's crib mobile away at 3 months because it stimulated her to much.

Every single one of you can and will do this. Thats what this group is for. To help you, and when your LO is older there is always the spirited toddler forum aswell.

Kimberly

Offline violetmum

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2007, 16:35:03 pm »
Thanks, Kimberly, about the note on caffeine. I was trying to cut it out completely, thinking it might calm Violet's jittery moods a little bit. It didn't seem to be changing anything, and I was dying!!! That one cup of coffee really saves me. You mentioned that PU/PD isn't a good idea with Spirited babies? Violet's 4-1/2 months old, and we're pretty sure the shush-pat isn't going to cut it. But, should we not try the PU/PD???

I was really interested to read that your LO is an Angel-Spirited baby. From the BW quiz, I thought Violet showed some Angel signs (especially in her socialization), but I thought it must have just been wishful thinking!

Thanks, everyone. I'm so glad I found you!!! We're setting the stage to start in on EASY this week. I'll let you know how it goes.

Offline benandmichelle

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2007, 16:48:43 pm »
Oh hannahbanana....I could have almost written your most myself. My heart goes out to you. :'(
Honestly, I can't yet say this motherhood thing is a good idea. If anyone had really warned me how it was going to be I would have never fallen pregnant. Sometimes I feel so bitter and sad it consumes me...but it is not the time or place to go into the impact the last 4 months have had on my mental health.
 I hope you ladies with more experience and who have lived to tell the tale can help us out.

Thank you for the motivation Kimberly!  :-*

When I am honest.....things have progressed but NOT gotten easier. Everyday is still a fight and I don't know when or if it will EVER be easier....different yes, but easier.....I am not holding out much hope.

I think BW is a fantastic philosophy and has some great points. I have seen it work with 3 of my friends babies and they are now 1 and a half and 2 years old, BUT.........they are angel babies. That is a lot of the problem. I feel the spirited baby and the experiences of the parents of spirited babies  are something the other types of personalities can not understand. Don't get me wrong....I am not saying it is not a challenge and very difficult for ALL mothers with new babies but there is only limited gain in me talking to my friends with Angel babies or posting on the naps board when 5 people with textbook babies offer advice. Spirited babies just don't do 'what the book says' so easily and we mothers are ESPECIALLY challenged. There should be a book just for us! Please correct me if you think I am out of line!

Anyway, pretty much EVERYTHING is an issue with us. I do manage to stick to a EASAE or EASAS plan but I can't give timings because everyday is different.
The best thing  I thinkl is if I just talk through what a 'typical' day sort of looks like in BLOG form. I hope no one minds reading it like this. I would REALLY APPRECIATE any advice on what I could do differently or where to go from here. I am just hoping and praying that things imrove from now till 6 months.

Ben (my LO) wakes at between 6 or 7am( or at least whenever I am aware he is awake) . When he starts whining for me after a few minutes I go in pull up the blinds say good morning smile and he coos at me then I  go out have a drink of water, go to the lo etc...and go and get him after 5 minutes.

Then we either feed straight away or change him out of his PJ's depending on wether he needs changing straight away and how long it has been since he has been fed in the night.

Eating is a huge issue. I have a fast letdown and he is an efficient drinker. It is usually over in 5 minutes but sometimes can take 15 and sometimes will hardly drink at all from being so tired or distracted. (yes I have tried covering with blanket to reproduce night conditions, feeding lying etc.. to no avail) When this happens I need to find a moment to pump out the feed otherwise my supply comes into problems later in the day or the next day. If I feel he has not had a good feed for some hours I give the ebm in a bottle which he takes easier than the breast as it requires less concentration and work.

After 'breakfast' I put him in his chair with a hanging toy and if he has had a good sleep he is fine alone for about 20 minutes. Then when he gets fussy I bring him into another room with me to change the scene. (normally a different activity chair...he has 2) That's fine for a while. Then I hold him a bit. Finally at around the 1.15 mark (or later when he has had a good nights sleep) I take him into his room, sometimes diaper change, pull down the blind, read a book for 2 or 3 minutes and then swaddle him on the changing table. At this point he cries (if not before). When he was younger I thought it was because he didn't want to sleep. Now I know 99 per cent of the time he is just fighting it or is just frustrated knowing he has to sleep. After this I hold him swaddled for a few seconds then put him down and sh/pat. This NORMALLY always works now so I guess I should acknowledge progress there. Befoer it was always a question as to wether he would fall asleep at all.
I am aiming for a 2 hour nap in the morning (around 9am) and one in the afternoon. It has happened about 2 times till now but if he sleeps for 2 hours...great but normally it is 45 mins and on a really bad day....20 mins :'(

I know he is probably still a little to young for a 2 hour awake time in the morning, midday, and late afternoon before bed but I just feel we have missed the boat on the whole shorter awake time and many 1 1/2 hour sleeps a day. It never worked for us so I may as well be aiming for the next step (4-6 months) and we have had more sucess with it anyway. Like you said Lorna...you just have to at some stage decide what it is going to be and try to 'train' them to stick to it.

But anyway, the reality is normall a short nap, up an hour to an hour and a half before the next feed is due (3.5 EASY...he really will niot drink before then....soemtimes even longer) so he has more activity time and then I usually end up feeding him early ( no longer than an hour earlier but still :-\ ).

Then the cycle starts again. As soon as he starts getting fussy, I try to put him to bed.

I am still trying to ge tthe hang of this overtired/overstimualtion thing. I tried to go by the baby whisper awake times but just found not every awake time was the same. I would spend up to an hour and a half trying to get him to sleep and we get the a quicker result now if I wait a bit longer. He still cries and won't go down without a fight but if he is really ready for sleep he will go to sleep quicker. Sometimes I do get it wrong though and he is very overtired but generally now I think I am better at knowing considering he has very few tired signs.

So the day goes on like that. If it all goes pear shaped, there are 2 things I always try to make sure: He has another feed before bathtime routine (despite when the las feed was) and that he doesn't have more than a 2 hour awake time before bed. If I can't get him to nap in the mid to late afternoon, he is really overtired and we put him down earlier than usual.

Normally though, we feed him about 6pm, bath him, do bedtime routine (same as day pretty much but a bit longer) and he is off by between 6.40 and 7pm.

Then we have the night problems now. I should say that he has always known night from day thank god. So even in the early days when it was pure hell and he NEVER slept in the day, he would sleep for blocks of a few hours at night up to 6 hours which has been a godsend. But now night wakings are making it really awful. We stay up till 10pm and I dream feed (ebm in bottle) then we go to bed. He sometimes wakes before the df anytime from 9.30 but not often enough to term it a habitual waking. When we first started the df he would then sleep to 4.30 or so, feed, then wake for the day at 6ish. After 2 weeks of doing the df sucessfully, he started waking again several times throughout the night so I stopped it as I needed to get more sleep and it didn't appear to be helping at all. Now I think it had nothing to do with the df actually. I started it again and the same thing now (2 weeks later) is happening. He wakes around 2 amd (this has gotten earlier and earlier) . He has come out of the swaddle. He never needs feeding at this time and I can usually resettle although it takes a while. Often he is still unsettled till he becomes really restless for another feed anytime between 3am and 5am! If we are lucky he sleeps properly until he wants his feed. I know he is probably too young to be sleeping through the night but all the wakings are definatly not hunger and I have tried feeding him often. They also can't be habitual wakings as they are everywhere or there are so many of them (often  up to 3 a night) it is hard to tell. The last 2 nights he has woken up at 5am and have fed him (drankl for 20 mins solidly) and then have managed to get him back to sleep till 7am.
I would not go as far as to say I don't mind getting up at 5am (because that is a lie) but if it would make the day easier for him and that is his natural rhythm I would gladly do it but I have tried this and it has made the day worse.

Phew.....it has made me tried reading trhough this. Well there it is....a mess really.

The other problem we have is swaddling. To be honest I don't know how we ever would have had a MINUTE of sleep without it but now he just wiggles right out of it. Everytime he is awake and I go in, everytime he is out. I want to get rid of it as sometimes reswaddleing is such a task it disturbs him more and he fights so much I can hardly get a good swaddle anymore. The arms are usually half way up by the time I finish. One arm out and gradually is not the way to go I don't think. I want to go cold turkey but am really scared of what will (or won't  ;) happen. He also uses a dummy to sleep but never any other time. That too is a prop which could be bothering his sleep but am not sure if it is a help or hinderance yet.

Can anyone tell me why tracy says it doesn't work to swaddle spirited LO's? Also, what is your experience with swaddling and dummys to sleep.

One last quick thing about activity times. As you can see theere arwe a lot of them and quite long. Various thing are: sitting in his chairs with a rattle or ONE stuffed toy, listening to a song and me singing to him, feeeling different textures and household items together, bouncing and 'walking' on my lap., 'talking' to each other, looking at photos, lying on mummies legs, and 2 minutes a day or so tummy time and a walk in the pram. Not that we do ALL this EVERDAY but they are the things we have going generally. Does it sound like too much? Sometimes I feel he is bored but it could be the opposite too. My partner tends to play with him a hell of a lot, lifting him and singing in his face etc...I try not to critizise because he works all week but I do know it overstimulates him terribly as he is a high energy person. So am I but have really learned to curb it and be soft and low key for my LO. My LO is 3.5 months old.

By the way, yes I do think spiritedness is inherited as we are BOTH quite highly strung, high energy people.
 
Congrastulations if you have come to the end of this....it is ridiculously long and a bit confusing..sorry. I hope it gives you an idea of what I am doing right and wrong and I would LOVE any help you can offer.

Thanks
Michelle
The simplest and most obvious cause which can there be assigned for any phenomena, is probably the true one. (David Hume, 1737)


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Offline lawnseed

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2007, 19:21:04 pm »
Thanks for that Kimberley! I would agree with everything you said :)

Hannahbanana - huge (((hugs))) - these guys can be the hardest to figure out :(
I feel part of my frustration is BW, with it's teachings that babies need to take these long naps.  I feel, every day, that we're somehow failing, not getting things "right."  Sometimes I wish I'd never started any program and "accidental parent"ed my way through like many of my friend.  Maybe I would feel saner right now.
I know I've felt like this sometimes (regularly), but now we've finally achieved some kind of a routine (I ended up having to stay in three days in a row every week for a while ::) :( to get stuff established), whenever we have a day when we just disregard everything and wing it, Eden is so miserable I feel that the other days are worth it - especially as NWings are usually stupid after a crazy day! Some people never do get past short naps, have you found the 45 minute nap threads? Have you tried posting your routine in the EASY forum to see if there are any tweaks that could be made? Sorry if you've already done this - I know it helps for me to get some outside advise!! Hope your tomorrow is better!

I would say your sanity is most important though, and on days when it's started all horrible and doesn't show any signs of changing I would say go out!! Think of it as a long term goal rather than a short term one (I found this really helped with my feelings of failure (she says as she listen to Eden NOT going down for her catnap AGAIN!) ). You are trying to give your LO understanding


Michelle - was just about to hit post when your novel came on the screen :P ;)
Wow!!! Firstly, you're doing great! It is such a muddle with babies, and they keep on changing to keep us on our toes. To look at what you are achieving, going to sleep mainly by himself is huge, as is night sleep (albeit interrupted!!!) If it make you feel any better, we have constant yet different NW issues - it seems to be Eden's sensitive area ::)

On a 3.5 hour EASY we also had issues with naps, we just kind of rode it out until 4 months when after going to 4 EASY things slotted into place. I would say the tired signs are crucial with naps though - when I said that consistancy was important, I more meant with wind-down rather than deciding on a time schedule. Try aiming for getting to the bedroom even before you spot the first tired sign, doing low key play, then when you see it do the wind down. It is an awkward transition phase for some though between 3 and 4 months. The reading at wind down may be too OS for him at this point - maybe just a hold and a song??

Nights - it could be the swaddle that's the issue - we weaned from the swaddle at 3 months, Eden found her thumb and since then has been very good at being resettled. I know others, though who swear by bigger swaddles!

Eating - Eden is a pain in the butt!! If we're in a dim room she will feed for around 5 minute - 15 - if I'm really lucky, but only ever at night time. Out and about 2 mins - we're lucky if I even get the let down. I tend to just trust that she'll get more later and I'll maybe feed her half an hour earlier if we've been out, or offer her a top up before her next nap.

Activity - I would try and make sure that the fun ones happen at the beginning, and towards the end of his A time just let him lie and kick with no deliberate stimulation.

He's still really young, and there is a long journey ahead, but you're heading in the right direction!!

hope some of this helps, I should go and see my ill husband now!!


Offline maman_d_emily

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Re: Support for Raising Spirited Babies
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2007, 00:32:03 am »
Hi to all,

I'm Annie and my LO (Emily) is now 6 months old and spirited.  Things seem to be better lately with my LO :)  she do naps good and sleep well at night and fall asleep mostly easy.  Pacifier and blankie and sometimes she fall asleep within minute, sometimes we have to put the pacifier in her mouth 3-4 times or turn her on her back since she turn on her belly but can't turn on her back after that and she gets mad. 

This is not to brag but to give hopes to the ones that are having a hard time.  I had a hard time to breastfeed in the beginning because she had such a hard time to take the breast the right way, then colics, then she was use to sleeping on the breast or shoulder, then started EASY and putting her to fall asleep in her crib with sh/pat at around 3 months.  I use to have a hard time to put her to bed, she would cry 30-60 min almost every time and sometimes even longer with sh/pat and my arm was so sore - it's still sore even if the sh/pat has stop for the last month.  Everything started to get better at 5 months when she started to take the pacifier again.  What a relief, I thought I would go insane.  She still will do short naps but she is still happy after and she might either do longer nap later in the day if that happen or go to bed earlier.  She does wake up every morning around 5-6am to feed (her big feed) but fall back to sleep after until 8am or so.  Let's say that she doesn't have a dreamfeed since she had more waking time at night with the dreamfeed (she was waking up for dreamfeed and that was screwing her night sleep), so maybe some of you who has trouble with night waking might try to stop the dreamfeed and see if that help or not.  For me also, I do prefer to wake up at 5 am  to feed her than waiting until 10 or 11pm for the dreamfeed because I tend to go to bed early. 

Michelle, I would try to stop the swaddle at his age, my LO wasn't different at that age with or without the swaddle and it was less trouble for us.  My LO is still not doing a EASY routine (more like EASAEAS) as she not always sleep a good naps but I try to keep the BF every 4 hours but now with solid, it's different but since every thing is easier, I didn't find that to hard. I still doesn't know when to put Emily to sleep by looking at her since she might have early signs of fatigue or no sign so I usually go with the clock.  Sometimes she will do longer awake time but either she never gets OT or it doesn't bother her because she will have no difference in her naps.  Emily was waking up often at night after 4 months and was playing, moving in her crib, mantra crying and after 1-2 hours, she was hungry.  After some time, I did 2 things, first close my door and put the fan on so I would not hear her if she would wake up to play (but I do hear her if she cry) and second, feed her as soon as I realise that she was awake (because I realise she was hungry but could be put back to sleep without the feed but then she would wake up later).  Now she wakes up only at 5-6am to feed, I think she sometimes wakes up other times during the night but I don't hear her - I realise that when my mother-in-law slept at our place and heard her twice but I didn't.  For the activity, I always do activity like playing alone on the floor or on her belly which she like less in the beginning of awake time because after some times she get bored and want me to play with her, so I keep that for the end of the awake time and do my chore in the house either when she first wakes up or during her naps but you might want to rest during his naps if you can. 

Well that is enough for today
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