Support for Raising Spirited Babies

[macgrl26]

Hey all!

     I am glad to see that all of us have problems with our little spiriteds going to sleep! OMG, sometimes it is a breeze, and I am like,,, here it is, the part the bw was talking about,,, He's got it, then there today, the hour and a half wind down!!!  I just got him down 20 min ago, and he will be ready to eat in a 1/2hr. Whee hoo!!!!

Hello to all the new joiners! I just joined myself about a week ago! I love this website!

Trish

[ElsMom]

Just wanted to say hi and introduce myself.  My little spirited girl is 5 months old, and I've read through this thread feeling very at home.  I honestly didn't know babies like this existed when I decided I wanted one!  Turns out DH and his sisters were all spirited, at least in some ways, although we seem to have some extra spirit in addition to what they were.  DD won't stand for being cuddled or rocked, and MIL says she's never seen anything like it!  Actually, I get a lot of that when we're out and about - "I've never seen a baby so active", "I've never seen a baby so alert", "I've never seen..." you all understand, I'm sure.  We have lots of fun, especially on her good mood days, and it's a good thing, because some other days I just want to run away and hide.  Our current issues are NW (have recently gotten down to two usually), short naps, and general OT problems due to the other two issues.  I'm looking forward to getting to know you all and having others to feel crazy with who understand what it's like.  I'm so 'type A', sometimes I feel like someone is playing a very big joke on me!

[pbmom]

Elsmom - glad you joined us over here...spirited lo's are a lot of fun, but a handful too   Now combined with teething - yikes!!!!!

[skatty]

Hi everyone, I haven't been on this thread since it started but I just wanted to give you some hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel 

Leorah is soon to be 14 months and since we have transitioned to 1 nap she sleeps like an angel baby  The whole of the first year was a struggle with my extremely spirited little diva but in the last 2 months things have changed so much. We had all the same problems you are all having since she was a newborn that didn't nap longer than 20 mins  She now goes to bed between 6 and 6.30pm every night and sleeps until 8am  She also take 1½ hour nap! I honestly still can't believe it but it's been very consistant. The other thing is that she can suddenly take much more stimulation, yesterday DH's nan was here and was chasing Leorah around the room just before her nap, L was squealing and giggling and I thought she's never sleep but she went down and was asleep within 5 mins and slept for 1hr40, this would not have happened even a matter of a few weeks ago. So anyway I thought I'd let you know as I would have really appreciated seeing a mum with a spirited baby coming out of the other side. Everyone comments on how energetic she is (you understand  ) so I guess she needs her sleep now and is mature enough to realise it. I still live in fear that it is all going to go wrong but she is teething molars right now and still sleeping through so I can't see what could disrupt her routine more than that so I am staying optimistic, we have definitely earned a good night sleep! If there is one piece of advice I could give a mum of a spirited baby it is to develope consistant routine and rituals, our babies are clever and curious and really like to know what's going on and what's going to happen next. Sorry I just want to add it's also a good idea to keep the winddown very simple, when DD was younger songs and stories were much too stimulating and lastly try and put them down to sleep before they have shown any signs as with S babies it's then often too late.

Anyway I know it can be tough but I still stand by my opinion that we are blessed with the best kind of kid so when things are really bad just think about all the wonderful qualities your LO possesses and how much joy and laughter they are going to bring in the future, now she sleeps L is such a joy to be around though I have to watch her all the time or she will be up the bookshelf or hanging out of the window  . If you have any Qs you can always PM me for some support. Enjoy your lovely babies 

[pbmom]

Skatty - that was so lovely - thanks for that!!!! 

Hazel - I have found with Brooke (now 20 weeks) that anything in the winddown is too much.  If I tried to sit she'd freak!  It really just needs to be me walking with her around her room and and patting her back (although that is risky sometimes).  She is too easily OS.  Maybe if you go up earlier?  Do you wait for signs?  I go more or less by the clock a lot as she doesn't show tired signs.  By the time she yawns, too late!!!  It took a while to figure out the perfect A time.  She'll make a few fusses when she's ready and then I have to go straight away.  I also was helping too much before.  Now I put her down facing away from me (very helpful too) with my hand on her shoulder/arm and let her do the rest.  Sometimes I have to pick her up a couple times to relax her, but then she goes off on her own.  It's like they are even spirited in their attempt to go to sleep!!!

Melissa - I can only imagine your worry.  Brooke would have a hard time with that too.  Have you introduced a lovey or some familiar items for the crib that she can maybe play with at day care too...maybe she'd play and then go off again if she was roused early or heard something at that 30 min mark.  Funny you say that about the 30 min mark - mine is exactly the same.  Goes back out by herself unless she hears something, but ALWAYS stirs at exactly 30 min!!!

[Grace's Mom]

Good news...we found an in home day care that has a seperate room for Grace, plus her son is the exact same way as Grace...needs quiet.  He has a sound machine in his room and a fan blowing outside his door.  So, she doesn't think I am crazy    Plus that nap at around the same time!  PERFECT.  We'll see how it goes.  She starts this week.

[macgrl26]

hey all....

    I am starting to freak out! I go back to work in 1 week (full time), and my lo is waking every 1/2 hour to an hour every night! Naps during the day are horrible, I try so hard to get him down when he yawns, but we get upstairs and we are wide awake, and I will spend the next 3 hours until it is time to eat again, patting and shushing. We will have 2 days that he will do well at night, and now here I am at 2:30 am , he had df at 10:30-11 ish, and we have been up since 1:00, and I have been patting and shushing since then. I am in tears right now! We have been working on this for 3 weeks. I have tried really hard to be consistant. ( and I am really on my husband to be too. but he thinks he needs to be more awake during the day to sleep at night, the lo is 8 weeks old) Can anyone help me?!!!!

[maman_d_emily]

Hi,
Trish, I'm sorry that it's not going well for the sleeping.  Did you try the night waking board?  I will try to help you as much as I can, anyway support if nothing else.  General sleep, night waking and naps board might more able to help you (they have more experience).  First, a couple of questions to help you: are you saying that after you dreamfeed or cluster feed, your baby stay awake?  If so, I would try to not feed him until he wakes up himself.  My lo was waking at night for 1-2 hours (1-2 times per night)  and I decided to stop the dreamfeed and feed her when she wakes up (because anyway I had to be up when she wakes up in the middle of the nigth) and it turn up that she would only wakes up one time at nigth to feed and was back to bed as soon as the feed was finish.  No more sh/pat for 1-2 hours.  It seem that the dreamfeed was disturbing her night sleep.  No all baby do well with dreamfeed.  My lo was 4 months at that time but I only started EASY at 3.5 months, so it might have been the same thing earlier.  Your lo might wake up more time during the night to feed because he is still young.  Also, maybe he is hungry when he wake up and that's why he wake up every 1/2 hour to an hour.  Are you feeding him at that time?  I know you probably don't want him to get use to eat all night but it is worth to try to feed him the first time and see.  Maybe he will sleep well after the feed.  Maybe it's a growth spurt.  Lots of maybe but if I were you, I would try to feed him and see.  Can't get much worse!  Well that goes for breastfeeding (I BF so I think of what to do when BF)  but I guess that if you are bottle feeding, then try to increase the amount during the day, it might help and you can also an extra bottle at night if not working with extra milk during the day.
Did you try swaddling? pacifier?  Some babies need to suck all the time, my lo was like that. 
One thing: maybe we can help you more if you write down your EASY.

Annie
Keep your good work 

[ElsMom]

macgrl - just wanted to offer support, and I agree with the suggestion to look on the nightwakings and naps boards.  Look at the FAQs as well - I've gotten lots of good suggestions just from reading that stuff.  I have been there with NW up to 10 or more times a night, and you're doing the right thing - consistency is huge, I think especially for spirited ones.  Hang in there, and try not to feel like a bad mom!!  You're not doing anything wrong, you just have one who is a little extra hard to figure out.  We still have short nap issues here (5 months), but they're much better than they were 3 months ago, so hang in there.  I didn't find BW until 3.5 months, and I have seen huge results. Sorry I don't have more concrete help, but keeping yourself sane is step 1, so get help and sleep where you can, and keep up the hard work! 

[pbmom]

Trish - Agree with Annie...my lo wakes that frequently when hungry.  Maybe GS or maybe just needing a little something extra at night.  Your lo is only 8 weeks old - 2 night feeds are common.  I also dropped the DF as it was disturbing her.  Maybe it's a spirited thing!  Swaddle definitely helped mine although I know some hate it.  And paci too...I'm sure I'll have to deal with that down the line

Good Luck!!!

[macgrl26]

Hey all!!

     Thank you guys for your support! It helps having others who have had simaler if not the same issues as me! It is 9:04 on sunday morning... (Happy Birthday to me! 33 years young ;-) ) My husband took all of last night (I loved that, but I still want an ipod!) MUCH thanks for all of your suggestions. I guess  I feel that we are on a rollor coaster. About a week ago, I would DF and he would sleep for 5 hours ( I was up about 3, 3 1/2 hours into it poppin in the paci instead of food) And he was all good! We swaddle him, arms out cuz he HATES having his arms in. He grunts like a maniac, and you can watch him work out his arms, of course any drowsiness we had is gone by that point!!!   I wish he would keep his arms in cuz he is so jerky!  He falls asleep with/or with out paci (his mood) if with, and it falls out, 9 times out of 10 he is okay with that.  I think that I will finish out this week with the dream feed, then next week (umm, I am sure it will be renamed hell week, 1st week back to the trenches) Then try the suggestion of dropping the df. Okay... so here is another question. My Pediatrician was telling me, if I am in the room, belly sleeping time is okay (good for head, helps flat spot) Wyatt LOVES sleeping on his belly. Good sleep, no jerking and failing around. Does anyone else let their lo sleep on their belly?? I am going to be calling my ped and asking.  Any thoughts?? Oh.... last question, holy cow, I am full of them! haha..... Do any of you kind moms who have given me the support, think that also changing formulas could interrupt his sleep?? We have tried 4.... Enfamil Lipil gave us bad gas, Efml soy, made us cry as soon as the bottle was out for about an 1/2hr, Efml fussy/gassy baby gave us acid reflux(so weird, could hear it come up,him swallow, sometimes then cry, generally, then out) So now we are on simalac regular. A little gas.... not as bad as enfamil... little tummies solves that. Any thoughts???

Okay. I think I am done for the moment. Can you all tell that I have had some sleep?? This message alot less desperate!!! Thank you all again... I know I will be chatting soon!  ;-)

Trish

[ElsMom]

macgrl - my dd is a tummy sleeper, and has been since she was 3 weeks old.  I couldn't find another way for her to sleep at all, other than on my chest in the recliner, and that wasn't a great long term solution.  I worried about it, especially at first, and my pediatrician definitely advised against it, but she's very very strong, and has always been able to lift her head so well, that I just gave in to what seemed natural for her.  Because of this, though, I still am paranoid to have a lovey in the crib with her, because she's probably more likely to get tangled in something face down.  She started flipping herself onto her back at 6 weeks, so that lessened my worry, too.  It's proven to be not as safe, and only you can decide what's right for you guys.  I just knew for myself, I felt like it was healthier for her to be getting sleep than not.  Also, as soon as I made the decision, all of a sudden moms everywhere started telling me they did the same thing.  My dd was a big sleep-jerker, and it seemed to help.

[maman_d_emily]

I guess that the kind of formulas might do some difference in the sleeping pattern if your lo is not doing well with the formulas.  Gas and stuff is not helping with the sleep.   My lo sleep on her side but if the only position that she would like would be the belly sleeping, then she would sleep on her tummy (but she always hated it).  Tummy sleeping is good to muscles development through all the body because when they wakes up, they want to look around and move. They say it is more a risk with tummy sleeping (but some people do debate this).  I know lots of mother that put their babies on their tummy to sleep but that is your decision. 
Annie

[pbmom]

My lo sleeps on her side for naps (we have a video monitor) and lately I have been watching her flip onto her belly.  She sleeps great, but then when she wakes she yells a bit as she wants to be back on her side.  LOL! 

Any babes hate the car still?  We just can't seem to get over it most days...makes it hard to visit family, etc (they are 3+hrs away).  Sometimes she's fine and other times she literally cries the entire time.  Maybe motion sickness (she does hate the swing when it's moving, and rocking, and being cradled).  Hmmm....what does she like?  My first would always pass out in the car or sit there happy as a lark (but she was always like that...she was content staring at her crib slats for hours  

Just wondering.

[ElsMom]

Robyn, My LO hated the car until she was about 6 weeks old, and now she seems ok with it as long as she's not OT.  My MIL bought her a Baby Einstein car thing that seems to help some.  It's got a remote for us to power from the front seat, and it has sounds, lights, and words.  It's especially helpful for shorter car rides, but maybe would calm Brooke enough to settle her for a longer trip, too?

Just curious - how many of your LO's hate being rocked?  Relatives keep trying to rock Elsie to sleep, not believing me when I say it won't work.  She just stiffens her body and gets mad.  Even my VERY spirited nephew settled if someone was rocking him - I've never met a baby who couldn't rock to sleep as a back up plan.  Sounds like Brooke is this way, Robyn - anyone else?