Support for Raising Spirited Babies

[SarahRB]

HI Everyone, 
  I am so glad that I've found this spirited lo message board.  My dh and I were laughing the other day (and crying) because since Ethan's been born (now 9 months old)  we don't even sleep in the same room!  I've calculated that he's been alive for about 270 sleeps and he only slept through about 10 of those nights!  Wow!  So totally different from my dd when she was a baby, she was an angel/textbook but now she is definitely a VERY spirited 3 year old (is that possible to change like that- or is it the 2's and 3's?)  Anyways, just for the past week, I've been noticing that ds has a mantra cry...I thought that he never had one because when he woke up he went straight into his "5-alarm fire" cry (as I call it).  Well, I think that I will be visiting this thread when my eyes aren't so sore.  Take care ladies

[pbmom]

Good Luck Julie - let us know how you are doing!

Welcome Sarah!  Big Hugs!!!  Been there.  When you are less bleery eyed (is that even a word?), let us know about you and Ethan.  I'm sure we totally relate

[pbmom]

ps - does anyone think it's actually possible to dress/undress/diaper change a super spirited baby without them trying to sit up 10 times, roll over and reach for something 4 miles away, grab the diaper and wing it around, or pull their socks off the second you get them on (and ps, they were on backwards as the babe was rolling over mid sock!)?  Just wondering if they could actually lay still for 1 minute?  LOL...not Brooke!!!!!!!  I'm sweating by the time she's dressed.

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

ps - does anyone think it's actually possible to dress/undress/diaper change a super spirited baby without them trying to sit up 10 times, roll over and reach for something 4 miles away, grab the diaper and wing it around, or pull their socks off the second you get them on (and ps, they were on backwards as the babe was rolling over mid sock!)?  Just wondering if they could actually lay still for 1 minute?  LOL...not Brooke!!!!!!!  I'm sweating by the time she's dressed.

Go through this upteem times a day and usually have to change all of K's clothes about 3 times a day, including vest. No lying still no matter what I give him so now when I pull off his pants I gently through them over his eyes and play peek a boo, gives me 30 seconds. A few weeks ago I was actually putting my knee- gently- on his belly to stop him rolling. What I do now is change as much as I can which is almost everything except the nappy sitting up. I make ds do the bed time changing and dressing cos I have had enough by then

Crap day, I let ds get over tired cos he was doing so well. Hour nap this am 3 hours after wake up, then we went out and fed him at a restaurant, had his first taste of pizza crust  . Had him in bed by 2 and some kids playing outside woke him at 3.10. Was in bed by 7.20, chatted for 20 mins then woke 40 mins later, then 40 mins later again, cried 10 min, went in was on all fours, gave nurofen, then he cried his sleepy cry for 10 mins before going back to sleep at 9.30. Also gave him a pain suppositry for the last 3 nights but not tonight. Could that have had something to do with it? Oh for some consistency.
Oh and we have our first bruise on his cheek, just under his eye, bit black, rolled over on dd's toy saucepan today. He crawled off the bed yesterday morning, first time ever for me to let my baby fall off the bed  dh was not impressed.

[pbmom]

Oh Fiona!  Big hugs...they are so fast and crazy that falling is bound to happen.  Don't be hard on yourself and tell DH, well...I won't go there  

Brooke wants to play with everything of Paige's so I know that some bumps are inevitable, though I hate it!  Esp. since Paige (also spirited) feels the need to pull everything away from Brooke 1 second after she's gotten it.  Funny to see a spirited baby hang onto a toy for dear life and laugh at her older sister who's crying for her to let go.  I try not to laugh, but really really funny! 

Sorry for you crappy night.  Change is the only thing these babes are consistent at, no?  How many hours diff are you from me (I'm in East Coast, US) and I can't remember where you are.

LOVE the idea of throwing something over her face...though I have a feeling she'll just pick it right up.  But maybe will give me 30 seconds too.  Right now I would die for 30 seconds of lying still!

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Oh my just saw my spelling is awful in my last post  I am in the Middle East, Bahrain so have no idea of time difference, can only tell you it's 10 to 11 pm here. Bed time for me again.
Also use burp cloth to put on his face for few seconds, of course he pulls it off but it does give me 10 seconds. Have a bundle of small hard books next to changing mat and of course the packet of wipes are good for 10 seconds too :-)
Ok am gone, chat to you ladies tomorrow, hope you all have a good nights sleep, me too :-)

[treebutt]

hi there

my spirted little one, is in a good daily routine and i think for the most part leans towards spirited/textbook - however i also think i have learnt to manage his day a lot better, he is now 10 months.  the only thing that drives me nuts is that we HAVE to be out and about for most of the day, otherwise i restort to too much tv.  now that he actually watches telly, it is too tempting to have 20 mins to myself if not longer....lo will only play for a little while at home and now that he only has x1 2.5 ish nap, activity time is now 4-5 hours so finding things to do outside the house without spending lots of money is a challenge. he gets bored of toys so quickly, playing in the shower, playing cardboard cubbies, playing outside, the swing, the cat, etc etc etc. i am so into it but i just run out of ideas and energy. he is nearly walking - do u think this will help? then we can go to the park? beach? etc??

also i find interactive play so much fun but it is so high energy i can only last for so long and then lo wants to touch me ie crawl, sit, squirm, lick etc etc etc so then play gets a bit silly and i have to calm him down.

more of a whinge really....

just a nice calm day at home - im dreaming arent i?? 

beck

[JulieNG]

Hi Everyone,

Today I gave DS cereal at 4:30 and bottle at 6 so well see what happens tomorrow am. Sounds like all of your LO's are similar to mine with their little personalities! So much fun!

[sherry lynn]

Hi girls,
Maybe you could help me out a little bit. I've just caught up with the last two pages. I saw that some of you are having trouble with NW/EW too. I've been chatting with some ladies on that board. We are figuring it's just developmental right now, but who knows, maybe you guys will have some advice for me. DS is almost 19 weeks old. His A times seem to be everywhere. I've been getting 36 min naps. Do you think that means OT or UT? I really get these for the first nap. Which is why I'm so hesitant to let him sit there and chat in the morning. Because I feel like I need to get him what ever time he wakes and feed him so that I can put him back to bed. I was only doing 1h20m of awake time. But now I'm beginning to think that even this time might have jumped for him. Two times this week I haven't been able to get him down at all for that first nap.
He is so young and I can never seem to get him down for a catnap. There are several nights that he is up from 3:00-Bedtime. Sometimes I'm lucky and it's 3:30 or 4.   I try to put him to bed early, and that rarely works either. For example: I tried to feed him about 15 min early, then he decided he was going to eat for 20 min more than last night, heh. Then he even took longer to settle than last night. So he wasn't asleep until 7:40.
Do you think there is anything I can do about this?
At this age what did your A times look like?
I think he is actually getting used to this long A time in the evening and that might be why I can't put him down earlier. Most days he's not too fussy at this time either, but sometimes he does wake an hour or so after going to bed, and will wake before the DF sometimes, and then of course the 5:40 waking, which is becoming all too regular.

[pbmom]

Beck - calm day???  What is that???  Not thinking I'll get one either anytime soon.  I double the silly play where they crawl, climb, lick, etc on you!  One nap already - phew that makes me tired just thinking about it.  Walking made it so much better with my first as she entertained herself so well when we were in the yard or whatever. 

Julie - I did the same...only time will tell

Sherrylnn - sounds OT to me.  Brooke was doing that for a while (except our nap1 was 38 min).  Drove me nuts.  Early bed did cure it for us, so not sure what else to suggest, but, I also made sure she had the catnap and resorted to AP (car or stroller).  That stretch from 3pm (or even 4pm) until 7 is way too long. 

Can't remember exactly Brooke's A time...I'll look at my log tomorrow and let you know (sad that I can't remember, but I think it was more like 2hr-2hr20min at 5 mos). 

The waking within an hour of going to bed and before DF usually does mean OT.  If he's up at 5:40 and you get him up, then bed really shouldn't be later than 6:30.  It may take a week of early bed for him to catch up from being OT.  What is he doing when you try to put him down early - crying?   

If he's fighting first nap he's probably not tired enough...B always fights when I go too early.  HTH.

[treebutt]

once my lo went to one nap its been lots better. i transititioned him to one nap fairly quickly, but he had a massive 3 months anyway ie. went from baby to little boy almost over nite. he sleeps much better at night and whilst he wakes 5 ish i give him a bottle and back to bed for an hour or so - 1 nap fixed the early wakings too. so yes, one nap, but its a long nap thankfully.  just lots of A time to fill now.

i also think i changed my mindset a little, which helped.  i just plough through the day and used to use the pram for catnap when i was transitioning from 2 -1 nap.  i also drink a lot of coffee at times! the more i do during the day the better.....bring on the walking stage i say.

to all the other mums w spirited lotsa hugs...

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Sherrylynn I would agree with much of what Robyn says. Definetly the evening stretch is too long, could you put him in the buggy and go walking for a catnap? Thats what I did with ds, covered his buggy with a navy blue blanket.
Early am nap could be not enough wake time. At this age Kian was on 2 hours before the first nap and 2.5 before the second. I think spirited kids seem to suddenly increase their wake up time without warning, at least ds did anyway.
Treebutt ( love your username) one nap at 10 months, wow that is early. Honestly there are days when I think ds will go the same way. Our pm nap is being pushed later and I dont want that as we will never get out of the house. Tbh I would honestly prefer one long mid day nap as long as nights are good. DD transitioned at about 13 months with almost no probs.

[pbmom]

Fiona - second that spirited ones increase awake time massively very quickly.  I know another girl that happened to as well.  It's like one day they are on 1.75/2hrs and the next week they are on almost 3 hrs.  Weird.  It's almost fun trying to figure that out and getting short naps and EW in between (yeah right!).

Well, we went out this a.m. during B's nap (shopping) and she actually took a decent one in the stroller (1hr15min or so).  But of course we were gone too long and she fell asleep 5 min from home despite my screaming songs at the top of my lungs and poking her, etc.  Get this though...stayed asleep from car in house, asleep on changing table (had to, poop - darn!), and then into grobag and tada EYES WIDE OPEN and smiling at me...that sucks.  So, I put her in the crib anyway and it's been 12 min and no sleep.  No fussing (yet), but she's putting her binkies behind the bumper and fetching them out all while doing that panting thing she does when she's excited.  Can you say OT hyper - OOPS!!!!  Maybe I'll just put her to bed at 5 since the time change and all and maybe she won't be that messed up...

ps - but, I really don't care if she doesn't sleep as she got her pic taken with the Easter Bunny and it is so perfect.  Hopefully I can find a way to show it to everyone   Should have gotten the cd I guess. 

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Robyn you have to post that pic, sounds so cute. Are you guys on time change tonight/ tom?
I got 2 great naps today, 1 hour and 1 hour 50, 4 hours before bed time and is usually longer,he woke at 30 mins for a quick cry and then again at 40 for another quick cry. On days when he has had less sleep he didnt waken in the early pm. Is this a sign to reduce day time sleep ?
here we go again with a possible schedule change, only been on the same one for 3 days  I went shopping yesterday am and got 4 new bras  that fit, how happy am I?
Robyn did your cot bumper arrive? How is it? Am trying to think of a way to get dh credit card and buy it without him knowing what I am buying  until it's here. I can just hear him, another useless thing in this house 
Treebut, was thinking today, how did you manage/decide to go to one nap so early?

[treebutt]

treebutt - i used this in desperation and sleep deprivation to log on to this site....i didnt realise that i would be participating with that name!! oops! its a sillly play on my surname, not the size of my....which mite i say after chasing my lo for 10 months  is very very small!! pls call me beck.

fiona, re the naps - as usual its like rocket science. but we transitioned 3 - 2 by dropping his cat nap on his own....and then just slowing moving his 2 naps around.  and then all of a sudden i was stuck with a small window of opportunity for a catnap in the afternoon - ie. i wouldn't let him sleep much past 4ish. bedtime is 630/ 7pm. i have been really strict w this and find it works.  also i found waking him early from his morning nap disasterous - so could never get 2 equal naps. so i let him nap as long as he liked for nap 1 and then at 330 i would get him to sleep in the pram for 30 - 45 mins. and then suddenly, literally one day, this stopped working and i thought the whole neighbourhood would report me - he would scream and grizzle until i sat him up and then i went right, its one nap from now on! i guess a leap of faith that i knew my baby by now? also i noticed that when he didnt have a sleep in the arvo, and even tho OT he would sleep longer at night so that was motivation. i dont DO 430am very well.  

it took a week or 2 to get him around enough into the middle of the day and a few early nights to help. actually the hardest thing, and still is sometimes, is trying to get him to have some decent lunch as by 11am, he would be approaching OT.  so sometimes it was a big bottle and then lunch when he got up (too close to dinner then...) - but now its lunch first and bottle and nap.  and luckily he naps for up to 2.25 hours ish.   he used to be a 45 min cat napper. hope for you all!

there were days i thought am i mad? am i missign all the cues?? but like i said a leap of faith....i still have the odd morning where he goes into melt down and is v OT, has no lunch and will wake after 45 mins (but i can get him back to sleep at this stage). i guess i also realised i had no choice - he wouldnt catnap in the arvo and his morning nap wouldnt get him thru the whole day so i had to  manage him.  like all us mums with spirited lo.

i do take care with him tho - try and spend time with him when he gets OT , read , lie on the floor and sing etc. try and keep him calm b4 nap.

sorry its a detailed response but thats how i, well, how lo, did it!!
 630 - 7am up
730 - 8am brekkie
OUT OF THE HOUSE
10.45 - 1130 - lunch of some sort
1130 - 12 - nap
2.30 snack
OUT OF THE HOUSE
5pm - dinner
6pm - bath and bottle
630 - bed

bottle at 430/ 5am and back to sleep....now....no bottle b4 this if he wakes.

beck ;o)