WHOA! Hi girls...it's been a bit since I've been here. Sorry about that - esp. to Sherry Lynn as you asked me for help. I feel terrible. My sister was in town and we were having loads of fun, but I was sidetracked from you all. Boy is that a lot of pressure to answer your Q's (just kiddin'). I am SOOO no expert, but I can say that I've been there with 2 spirited ones now. Though Brooke is FAR more spirited than Paige ever was. She is spirited/angel (I think someone asked). Paige was angel/spirited - big difference
Hope I can help. Here are my thoughts.
Sherry - I always mess up the quote thingy too, so here are my trying to be helpful responses:
(1) I said he was OT as most los with shorter than 40 min naps are OT or OS. But, I do have to say that Brooke would often do a 38 min nap and I was being told OT, but then I watched her nap (and then bought a video monitor so I didn't have to hide in her room for my only Y time of the day). I realized that she started to come out of deep sleep around 35 min and would wake at 38 min if she couldn't get herself past that "jolt" in sleep cycle. She was not tired enough to make it past that mark. If she was OT, then she would sleep for 20 min, 30 min or a couple times only 18 min (that's not even a NAP! haha). It drove me nuts though as I was so worried about OT that I was decreasing A time or making sure it was low key, when in fact she probably could have handled more. When I did increase A time I went to quickly and got great results for a couple days but then 30 min naps, so I had made her OT. It was like I couldn't win! The early bed thing did cure it for us, but really the A time had a lot to do with it too. I would increase A time in very short increments and if you get shorter naps do whatever you have to to get him to sleep for a bit in the afternoon. How much daytime sleep total is he getting? And how much at night again? Sorry, I can't remember and I want to make sure I answer your Q's before P wakes up...and then B.
How does he go to sleep? Independently? Or are you there with him helping him along? When he wakes and he fusses, do you always go right away? What if you leave him for a bit? He's not doing the I need you cry, right? When I would go to Brooke, she would literally laugh at me and I would want to pull my hair out. I mean, how could I be upset when this cute little thing is grinning and laughing at my from the crib.
(2) For the long stretch in the eve, I know you've done it before and had your day shift like I did, but you have to continue it if you want to keep him rested. You don't want to create NW or EW b/se of day sleep issues. So, I would say still do early bed until the A time increases enough where you can push it. You really need to make sure that night sleep is good if day sleep is all over the place. For the chatting/fussing before bed...what do you do to help him go to sleep? Do you leave before he's asleep?
(3) Brooke's A time - I was playing with A times at 19weeks, but it was usually b/w 2hrs and 2hrs20 min. Most days with good naps appear to be 2hr10min A time. When I say 2hr10 min A time, I mean from the minute she woke until the minute we went to her room. At that stage of the game, winddown was about 10 min total (incl. diaper change and grobag), music, stand by crib, then into crib and shh/pat until calm. At first I had to shh/pat until asleep (for a few days) as I had just embarked on pu/pd at 5 mos old to get rid of paci/swaddle. So I was all over the place for a few weeks getting the routine settled. Then I decided I'd had enough of shh/pat and slowly removed the pat first, then the shh, then I just stood there, then I left the room straight away. She'd sometimes fuss/mantra. She's mostly asleep within a few minutes. If it were more than 10-15 min at that point I knew it was trouble (i.e. short nap). Upon waking I always leave her be for a bit and it's paid off. She wakes in the a.m. and after nap and plays and it gives her some extra down time and me a chance to get some things done. Also now gives her a safe place to practice her acrobatics
FWIW, all of the settling for Brooke was always in the crib from 5 mos on. Before that, my winddown was far too involved and it worked against me. And now, she'll practically jump into the crib and reach for it when she's tired. It's annoying in that she won't cuddle for more than 30 seconds (and it's forced LOL) but if she wants her crib, then so be it. She would get sleepy in my arms, but would never actually fall asleep there (well maybe would if I could stand the pushing off me and head butting, but it's so clear she wants down that I put her down).
I never worried about what time I wanted her to be asleep by...I just went by a particular A time after she woke while paying attention to signs. But, if I went with the "fake-out signs" that she would give earlier, then I'd always get a short nap. She was never great at giving me a sign anyway - by the big yawn it was too late...or she was just faking me out as she was bored/needed a scene change. At some point I figured that I was getting crappy naps regardless of A time, so I just kept A time constant and it seemed to settle as she got used to it. I used the bjorn/car to get a catnap/rest time at the end of the day to keep that last A time a reasonable amnt.
As for the fighting nap, yet getting short nap all I have to say is I have SOOO been there. Not sure what to say but I just kept experimenting. The fighting definitely signaled not tired enough for Brooke. It's like they are tired, but not tired enough to sleep longer than one cycle. Sounds like his "cycle" might be 36min. Brooke's was 38min and I was a wimp about increasing A time as I was afraid she'd be OT, but I really did us a disservice (sophia - is that a word?) as we would get a short nap. For most los you'll hear that anything short of 45 is b/se of OT. But, as Sophia and I were saying recently to each other, ours were just at the end of their sleep cylce (which is diff. for every lo) and it really actually meant that they were UT. Does that make sense? Have you watched a nap to see what happens when he's coming out of sleep? Is he crying upon waking at 36min? Or is he most of the time happy? How's his mood when you take him out of the crib? Once I realized that it really was UT, I would literally add A time by walking around with Brooke in my arms. Of course since she's spirited, I couldn't just hold her normal...she had to be face out with my forearm under her armpits and her butt on my hip and dangling there (kicking her legs of course)...definitely not good for one's side/back, but it works wonders here. Still do it now too...it's A time at 3ish hrs and 10 min before it's up I scoop her up and walk around and she becomes relaxed and then off to bed.
TBH it all went crazy when she was dropping the catnap at 6 mos too, so it's always changing. Naps were good, but inconsistent at 5 mos. Since dropping the catnap, she's pretty consistent and 99% of naps are good. I guess I'm saying that sometimes it might just be a timing thing and you need to go with the flow and wait it out a bit. Sometimes I wonder if anything would have changed for me if I increased A time earlier or if she just happen to become a better day sleep with development/age. I had such a hard time going with the flow for the longest time. Plus, I was afraid to let her fuss/mantra for even a few minutes. Once I learned that I was making the situation worse, I backed off and it got a lot better.
That's the longest post ever and I sure HTH!!
Welcome Shanna and Rose! Sounds like the rest of our los at that age. BW is wonderful and you'll find great support and advice here. Rose is still so young. I really wouldn't worry about the white noise. It's proven in sleep studies to help babies and adults get better sleep and if she startles (Brooke used to all the time - she was such a light sleeper) you should keep it. In time you'll be worried more about the swaddle/paci. Does she go down independently? Or are you using shh/pat? Just wondering. At that age, I would work on trying to extend naps or fitting more naps in the day to get a good amnt of day sleep as it really does affect your night. Let us know how you are doing.
