Support for Raising Spirited Babies

[Naomi72]

What a relief to find out my son is not the only one..... I dont think anyone would believe me if I told them how intense my lo is!!!

[treebutt]

hi all parents of the spirited

the last week has been particularly intense.  all the walking and puppy like activity has made my lo soooooooooooo tired that i am constantly risking OT.  have had some crazy early starts - 430, 5 and 530 - i nearly died. i was just so over it. i work so hard to get his routine right, and then BINGO! its out the window. and its only been 11 months - really there has neverbeen a routine thats lasted longer than a few weeks.

i had to bring dinner forward to 430 in the afternoon - as i had 2 nights were he didnt eat any dinner as he was just so tired and then of course was screaming for milk at 3 in the morning.

lots of early bedtimes as i am hesitant to go back to 2 naps as they are so short they dont really get him rested. my saving grace is his one biglunchtime nap. very grateful. and the last day or so we have seen an improement - i think maybe on top of OT now.

phew - bedtime for me. take care all of you.

beck ;o)

[Serena25]

I'm starting to loose the plot! Have had a busy week and am dealing with a teething LO. She's only 3 months. The only thing that seems to calm her down at the moment is a lot of cuddles and no amount of shhh patting seems to get her to nap. Getting seriously depressed. Had a complete break down this evening and had to leave my husband to bath and put her to bed. Just sat on the sofa crying :-(

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Serena, hugs to you, and to you Treebutt. This thread has gotten kind of quiet.
Going through rough time here too as we have all had the vomiting bug except ds so far and dd is in hospital tonight with a drip, dh is there with her.
The EW are killing me now at this stage they have gone on so long with my spirited little man, today was 4.15 am and now he just gets a bottle and goes back to sleep. Very bad habit I know but I cant do a 5.30 or before start for the day. Will just have to break the habit later. But it really kills me to give him that bottle cos I know what I am doing.
Anyone else been in this situation and gotten out of it?

[sherry lynn]

Fiona,
I'm in this situation right now. Except I just started feeding my LO, as he seemed to truly be hungry. My problem is, he's not going right back to sleep!! He woke at 5. Fed him, still took an hour plus to go back down. Naps have been horrible all day.
Sorry to hear about your family and illness. That is rough. I hope you all feel better soon.
Serena,
That was me two days ago   I'm glad DH was there to help you. I hope it gets better for you soon. Once the teething is done just make sure to get back on track. Do what you need to do for her to sleep. Just make sure to pick up the pieces soon after. A few days of AP shouldn't throw all your hard work out the window. Somebody on here said to me the other day, treat OT like an illness. Do what it takes to get your LO over the 'illness".
Beck: really there has neverbeen a routine thats lasted longer than a few weeks.
This is what it is turning out to be for me too. I'm trying not to loose hope though I'm glad the early bedtime seems to be working for you guys. He will get over this hump soon.
Best of luck for a good day/night for everyone.
-Sherry

[BensMamma]

Hi Spirited Baby Lovers,
I too am a mom of a SSB (Sweet Spirited Baby).  His name is Benjamin and he turned 5 months old on 4/14/08.  I started out as a Baby Wise mom, but after he was diagnosed with reflux, I couldn't even consider letting him CIO.  Besides that, the 2 times I tried to have him CIO he made himself sick and even more OT.  Then, around 3 months old I started trying to follow Dr Sears because I was distraught over the pain he was in from the reflux, but the Sears methods just made things worse for us.  I'm really happy I finally found Tracy's writings and only wish I had sooner.  I just bought her book on Toddlers in hopes to get a head start.  This website support group is really wonderful.  I'm quickly learning from all of you that spirited babies will continue to challenge us for a long time, so I shouldn't expect him to suddenly turn into an Angel baby just because we're following a routine.  And, I have learned that with a spirited baby I need to be patient and flexible.  Just being able to identify his personality and moods better has really helped me cope a lot better.

Right now our main challenge is the 30-45 minute naps.  Last week I tried using PU/PD, but that didn't work, so yesterday I tried pat/shhhh.. and it really helped   My LO slept for 1.5 hrs during his midday nap, and went down easily and slept 2.5 hrs during his late afternoon nap!!!  Today so far I've only managed to get him to sleep 1:15 and :45, but I did sort of mess up his day by taking him to lunch w/a friend and keeping him up for 3 hours straight.  On top of that, he started our day at 0530.  Hopefully this afternoon will go okay.

For napping I know that Tracy suggests the babies lay on their side, which certainly would make it much easier to do the pat part of pat/shhhh.., but what do you do if your LO refuses to lay on his side?  How do you soothe them?  Mine is a back sleeper and won't stay on his side.  If I try to hold him there, he just squirms and fights until he's on his back.  Also, his legs are constantly moving...I hope that's normal...I'll have to ask our Pediatrician.

I noticed that most of you have a 12 hour day.  I have yet to experience that.  My LO would love to go to bed by 7:00-7:30, but then he's wide awake at 3am, 4am and 5am, and refuses to go back to sleep after that.  So, I've slid his bedtime to just after 8:00.  He still wakes up around 4am to eat, and then I try to get him to go back to bed and stay asleep until at least 0600 at which time I feed him again just to start the day off right.  He gets a dreamfeed (BF) and swaddle at 10:00, so I'm not sure what else I can do.  I would be in Heaven if he slept 7-7 with just a dreamfeed around 9:30 or 10:00.  Does anyone else have this same problem?  Any suggestions?

I need to run and do the pat/shhhh.... thing again now.  Have a great day! Audrey

[pbmom]

No time ladies, but wanted to send big hugs to you all.  Esp. Fiona with all that illness and DD hospitalized!  Poor you...feel free to pm me anytime...I have 2 spirited ones and have been through pretty much every scenario.  It does get better and they are loads of fun!!!!!!!

[treebutt]

thanks all for sharing.

fiona - EW are awful. (they are the cruelest thing i have discovered about sleep deprivation) but i have feed my lo anywhere between 430am and 5 for ages now - i do shh/ pat if i need to thru the night and it works till then and then its just easier to feed and get a quiet sleeping house till to at least 630 - 7.  except last week when he didnt go back! the last few nights have been good. i think once lo eats more (coz he wants to do it on his own - so spoon refusal is common. i have to hand feed him rice!! tricky!!) he mite sleep thru but i figure 10 hours is good enough for me and proves he CAN SLEEP its just gonna take longer than i would like to sleep thru as such. and will just have to tweek when developmental stages hit.  

serena: i still cry, more out of exhaustion and know other mums who cry each day just coz its so hard.  thats normal but your depression sounds like its getting worse??!? are u interested at all in getting some counselling??? it mite be elements of PND.  i didnt really get on top of my PND till 6 months...hope u dont mind me asking.  i think i should have seen some one at 3 months. wat do u think??  

sherry: i think i must have panicked the other day - the EW thru me and i thought my routine was out the window, but the last few days  have gone back to normalish wakeups, (still bottle at 5ish tho) one lunchtime nap, and early bedtime, early dinner etc.  i really saw the dangers of OT tho and have to stay a little vigilant about it i think....but at the same time i just dont think going back to 2 small naps will really help either.  lo or me!

bensmamma - welcome! 3 months to 8 months were my most challenging and am so glad i hopped onthe BW wagon.  good luck with this afternoon!

anyway on with the day!

beck

HOPE I MATCHED UP ALL YOUR NAMES WITH THE RIGHT ISSUE!!  

[pbmom]

Just reading back...meant to say that anyone can pm me anytime...not just Fiona (though I love ya!)...

[Serena25]

Hi guys,
Feeling much better today. LO got off to sleep better tonight without any calpol or stuff for her gums so looks like she is getting over her little blip. Am gonna get back on the shh-pat wagon again tomorrow. Just get so stressed because I dont have time to do any housework. I know I should take a relaxed approach to cleaning now I have LO but it would be nice to be able to mop a floor once and a while! Of to bed now. Wish me luck for tomorrow :-)

[Serena25]

HELP ME!
I really dont know how to get my LO to take naps. I shh pat for hours everyday and she never gets further than a doze. That then leads to complete meltdown in the evenings because she is so over tired. I have now resorted back to taking her out for drives and long walks just to get her to sleep. I am really close to giving up because I can see absolutly no improvement. In fact I can hear her screaming now because she is over tired. DH is trying to settle her. I take her up to bed as soon as she seems to be getting tired. That can be as little as 10 minutes of quiet 'A' time. Yet she still never goes to sleep properly and the minute I stop shh patting she wakes up and smiles! What am I doing wrong?

[BensMamma]

Serena,
BIG, BIG Hug.
I wish I had an answer.   

I can say that I am totally feeling your pain.  I thought things were going great with us doing shh...pat during naps for two days, and then everything fell apart yesterday evening and has completely spun out of control today.  Our LO goes down to sleep, but only sleeps 35-45 minutes, and then cries until he's hysterical and won't stop.  It seems the more I shh...pat, the louder he gets, and picking him up doesn't help either.  This afternoon I finally got so upset that I was afraid of what I might do, so we set him down in his "exersaucer".  He immediately smiled and started babbling.  Of course, when I fed him 15 minutes later he passed out from exhaustion and he's still sleeping an hour later which just happens to be his normal bedtime.  I'm guessing we're now facing an extremely EW tomorrow because of it.  I know he desperately needs his sleep though, so I'm not sure if I should just let him sleep it off or wake him up.

I truly hope your LO's naps get better soon.  I completely understand how this can drive you crazy.

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Serena,
Sorry I am really not good at helping get babies to sleep. Are you still swaddling? Maybe pat ssh is too overstimulating? Have you posted on the nap and sleep boards? You will get so many more views there and hopefully someone will be able to give you some advice. Meantime do anything you can to avoid OT

[Mileshunt]

Hi everyone,
not posted on here for a while but thought I'd check in and see what's what.

Bens mamma - welcome!  Big hugs for having to deal with reflux on top of everything else. Our LO is 7months old now and still suffers from it but it only really shows by her poor sleep and sick because she laughs and smiles when she's awake and not tired. We've reached the point where she needs more gaviscon but if I give it to her she gets blocked so she's starting to feel the pain again. We've been finally referred to a paediatrician (to reassure me - Dr is happy with things!!) but I'm also trying to see if I can get a private appointment on our work healthcare scheme, which might be quicker.  If you need advice on reflux (eg meds, support) the reflux, colic and crying board is ace.

Serena - big hugs to you too.  I got so down recently that I put babybear back in her cot and went back to bed to let my DH deal with it because I couldn't take any more.  I saw my GP and she's going to get me some counsellling plus she prescribed me some happy pills which I had mixed feelings about taking but I've tried everything I can think of and I know I need a little bit of help.  It's taken me 7months though..... Part of the problem is that I've been trying for ages to get more help for L's reflux but no-one has been taking me seriously or is concerned about how tired she is and I feel like it's all in my head and I'm going mad.

Everyone struggling with routines - it's so true: just when you think you've cracked it it all changes! Big hugs to you too and hope your LOs stop their EWs.  Our routine is sooooo pants at the moment but I think it's the reflux messing things up.  I'm going out to the park this afternoon because I need some air and quite frankly another round of trying to get L to sleep is tiring me out just thinking about it!!! She's kipping at the moment but I have such a dilemma when trying to settle her because she won't settle with me in the room OR out of it! I've resorted to doing the popping in and out thing so I leave but if her grizzling escalates I go in.  It's not ideal but it's working at the moment.

Pip pip!

Linds x

[sherry lynn]

Hi everyone,
We were on vacation for a little while. Happy to be home. Schedule isn't any wonkier than when we left, so that's good.

Mileshunt,
Welcome back.

Bens mamma,
Welcome.

Serena,
Have you posted on the easy forum? I've been able to get lots of help there. I'll try to help you too over there if you want. First thing everybody will ask is what is your schedule. I know that sounds obserd because when they nap like that - your like - what schedule? Trust me I understand that. But write everything down for a day or two. And I just put what awake times I was shooting for etc. You probably have already been over there. I'll look over there for you also. And on the naps board.

Beck and Fiona,
How are things going? Haven't heard from you guys in a little while?