Support for Raising Spirited Babies

[sherry lynn]

Yeah,
We moved to GA. Don't worry too much about breaking the rules. You HAVE to do what makes you sane. I know the hours over the crib thing, with a 20 min nap. Lyle woke after 35 min, of my "success" I tried resettling about 3 times, and then said, you know what, maybe you've had enough. Yesterday he didn't sleep much, maybe 2 hours, but he spend hours in his bed. And we had a major NW. I think it's because he spent so much time in his bed, really.
I would try giving the naps, make sure you are trying to give him indpendence and make a rule. I will spend X amount of time on this, and that's that. Being away from home is hard enough on the emotions, let alone spending hours and hours and hours in their room. If I wouldn't have stopped doing that, I know i'd be on meds by now. Don't get me wrong, somedays I still do, like yesterday. But I refuss to do it day after day now.

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Clare I would do it for as long as it works to be honest, if it does work. Most kids dont go to one nap until about 15 months though some do go as early as 10 or 11. DD went to 1 at about 13 or 14 months with no probs but when she went from 2 to 1 it was much more difficult so we kind of did every 2 or 3 day until I had to cut it out cos she was starting school.
Yes I am away from home, been away a long time now, currently in Bahrain moved from Dubai :-)

[clareharley]

Thanks, both of you, for the advice. I'll try alternating between 1 and 2 naps a day and see how we get on. I always promised that I won't spend more than 30 mins trying to get him to sleep but I always give in and spend longer because I think he's nearly there. I'll just have to be stricter and when 30 mins is up, that's it. I can't attempt doing 2 naps a day otherwise.
Some very good friends of mine have just moved to Bahrain, a lovely family from Perth, Australia. They're coming to visit soon so am counting the days to have proper pals around again.

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

No way Clare, what a small world, wouldnt it be cool if I was chatting to the Mom on the expat site here and didnt know it :-)
Good luck with the naps, dont be a stranger
xx
Fiona

[Mileshunt]

and i think can i possibly do number 2?? wat if number 2 is even more spirited - i dont think i could manage....and i feel bad wishing/ hoping number 2 is angel....thats not very nice!! anyone else feel that way? or have had number 2 and ended up with 2 spirited lo's??

i know my lo is textbook a lot of the time with everything else, and has responded well to BW once we caught on - but he has this spirited, possible touchly - moody like his mother perhaps?? lol. side that just drives me bonkers. which is why im on this thread!!  

I'm wondering if I can do 2 aswell!! IKJWYM.  My LO is a mix of textbook (maybe a dash of angel) and spirited, it's just unfortunate that the spirited side shows in that she has a hard job winding down. She's not loud but she's always moving, even lying on her changing mat and her sleepy cues are non-existant! I think I'm being taught some lessons too!  I'm just too stubborn, I would spend hours in the early months trying to get her to sleep and stop crying and now I'm wishing I had chilled out a bit more.  As she's got older it winds her up more if I'm in the room trying to calm her but she also needs the help calming down so it's a bit of a rubbish situation!  We usually go to groups in the morning and she won't get any sleep but quite often when I've given her some lunch at home she'll do a good stint in the afternoon.  Except today...I was knackered and just wanted to put my feet up for 1/2hr with a cup of tea but DD wasn't having it!  She must have been shattered because she was up from 6am and finally had went down at 14:40 after I worked out that she needed her next bottle

Does anyone else feel like they're floundering in the dark trying to read their LO?

Clare - big hugs.  I hope you get breakthrough soon.

Sherry Lynn - we used have days too where DD would spend loads of time in her bed but not actually sleeping, hug to you too.

Linds x

[sherry lynn]

Does anyone else feel like they're floundering in the dark trying to read their LO?


I feel like this everyday, at least once. 

[clareharley]

Floundering in the dark is exactly it! Sleepy cues? Who knows? All I know is that yawns and rubby eyes mean 'don't even think of trying to get me to sleep' so, after 10 months I still have no idea when I should be putting him down. He only managed 30mins again today and that was only because he fell asleep on the bottle. UGGHHHHH!

[sherry lynn]

Clare,
Have you tried putting him down before the sleepy clues? That's what I have to do with Lyle. It is still hit and miss, but I usually have better luck if I get him in bed before the rubbing eyes etc? Now of course he proved me wrong today. But that's how it goes, right? He napped today really well. I pushed him what I thought was too far, and it took 30 min to get him down, but then he slept well. I know that is not what I would want to do everyday. But at least it worked today.

[clareharley]

Yes, I tried that yesterday because I know the morning is really difficult for him on one nap a day. I tried putting him down mid morning - he usually starts getting tired around 9.30/10 so I tried putting him down at 9am but he was having none of it. He eventually fell asleep on the bottle at 10.30am for 20 mins and that was it for the rest of the day.
I read somewhere that if you put your lo down at the same time everyday, even if they don't sleep, their body clock eventually realises this is the time to sleep - I guess if you're not dealing with OT this kind of makes sense. I brought lunch forward to 11am this morning and ended up whipping him out of the high chair at around 20 past because he was rubbing broccoli in his eyes and really struggling. It took 30 mins of crying and climbing out of the cot but I eventually got him to sleep. He's been down for 40 mins now!!!!!!!! This is a long sleep for us these days!

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

fingers crossed for you Clare

[sherry lynn]

I know Lyle is a lot younger, but sometimes 5 minutes makes the difference between a 35 min nap and an hour and a half nap. So if he gets up at the same time tomorrow maybe try 9:15, 9:20 or even 9:25. It seems kind of crazy, but maybe it will work? He probably honestly wasn't tired at 9. I hope he took a nice long nap for you. I hope you have a good day.

[treebutt]

hi clare

sorry i havent really been following your story to closely but it looks like you lo might be similar to mine - at 10 months my lo started transition from 2-1 and it happended really quickly.  my lo is 1 on saturday!!

i have had some OT due to very EW - 4, 430 - feel like i would die!! know 530 is a sleep in - can u believe it? so sometime i have to do 2 naps just to get around the clock.  sometimes i do nap 1 in the car....nap 2 is usually no prob as he is so used to going down at 12ish. maybe??!!

but maybe you should look at the 2-1 transition nap board - i found this really helpful esp. once OT started to kick in....

hang in there - also , i read somewhere else, getting your lo to sleep at the same time each day by starting to do it in the pram or car? whereever your lo nods off to sleep easiest and then slowly try to get them into there cot - going on from your idea of getting there body clock set....so maybe once every 2-3 days try for cot, and the rest try pram/ car?? i know its BW accidental parenting but by 10 months you must be getting pretty over it!!

just some ideas

beck ;o)

[clareharley]

Thanks for all your great advice. I have to attempt a morning nap tomorrow as we've got an appointment at 11am (that's his lunchtime now) so I'll see how I go making it a wee bit later. Beck, I might take your advice and try the morning nap in the pram next week. I'd rather his lunchtime were later but he's beside himself by 11am. We have to rush through lunch and I'm sure that's not good for him. If he could just cat nap at around 9.30 then at least lunch could be a bit later and less rushed. I've been looking at Gina Ford's book. She suggests they have a catnap of no longer than 30/45 mins in the morning so that they sleep longer in the middle of the day. The problem is that if he does sleep in the mornings then it's almost impossible to get him down again for any length of time so, as he only ever sleeps 20 mins in the buggy that might work.
On a positive note, I did manage to get him down after lunch yesterday and he slept for 1hr 10mins. So far, he's been asleep for 45 mins so maybe we're getting somewhere.......
Thanks again everyone.

[treebutt]

i have used some of the concepts from Gina Ford too -  but i only use most of the stuff that BW support as well.  i use the pram too for the same reason as lo will wake after a short time.  altho with Very EW i sometimes try the cot - but i use a bottle to settle!! (cheating!!)

i have such a good run now with the lunchtime nap and i dont want any napping much after 215pm - like Gina Ford suggests to make sure lo is in bed by 630/ 7pm, that a short cat nap in the pram (i think BW call this a throw away nap?? so they are a little more relaxed as to how  you get them too sleep.) is the only way to squeeze in a nap to get him thru the day.

see how you go - let me know.  if it makes you feel any better ihave read about 10 books of varying styles and use  bits from here and there but i think BW manages to capture the essence of how i want to parent.

;o)

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Hi Guys,
I run a mixture of BW and GF and it works well for us apart from the middle of the night feeding ( habit now I think plus ds doesnt eat well so very likely is hungry). I did GF with dd and it worked fab for us but she was an angel baby.
My advice is dont get hung up on GF or BW cos at the end of the day if you look at the schedule routine it is basically the same. By 10 months both recommed a 45 min am nap if you are having pm nap probs and a longer pm nap with a certain amount of wake time before bed.
Honestly speaking half of my regrets I didnt GF ds from day one but her routines for small babies and their sleep times were just too short for my ds. Also BW was the way I went with my dd once she became a toddler as it does go with my style of parenting in a lot of ways. You can mix and match what suits you and your lo.