Support for Raising Spirited Babies

[Mileshunt]

I've just bought that book and it helped me understand myself more lol!!  I like it because it's got a lot in common with BW.  I think parents of touchy babies would find it helpful too because of the section on sensitivity...

Yes - our LO made funny cries in her sleep.  Chandler isn't on a growth spurt is she? That's the only thing I can think of.  We had a phase at about 15weeks when L would keep waking up after starting to sleep through and we never did get to the bottom of it!!  Sorry I can't be more help.

Linds x

[BillieHills]

PleaseHelp!!
Hello I have a 6wk old (4wks prem) baby boy who is spirited with a streak of touchy and textbook!!!
Right I need help. Lo sleeps well through the night wakes 3hourly but that is ok and usually goes straight ack down. However during day when he is awake he seems to just cry. Very rarely do I get any A mostly just E and S.
I watch for cues and he yawns almost immediatly after eating but still can take up to an hour to settle down. I have just started to get smiles so I know there is a happy soul in there somewhere. Am I expecting to much of my lo at 6wks? I feel he is upstairs all the time!!
Advise would be great.
Billie xx

[Grace's Mom]

At 6 weeks, 2 weeks adjusted your lo will most likely wake up, eat, have a diaper change and go back to sleep shortly there after....45 minutes-1 hour after waking.
New borns sleep 18-20 hours a day.  That's very normal and since he is a premie he needs the extra sleep.

Why do you think he is crying....in pain, OT, hungry?   

[BensMamma]

QUESTION FOR ALL: Does your LO every cry in his/her sleep? I sat beside Chandler during her entire 90 min. nap today because she was very OS/OT and HAD to sleep or else. Twice during REM sleep she just suddenly burst out with some very pitiful crying for no apparent reason. I put my hand on her and sh'd, and she stopped right away and went back to dreamland. Was she dreaming? I've heard her do this before, but by the time I got to her crib she had woken herself up. This was the first time I was right there when it happened. What do you all think? Do your babes cry in their sleep?

Yes, quite often lately.

[BensMamma]

Hi all,
welcome to all nwies with spirited Lo's. I wish I had more time to write to you all individually but hardly get time to ge ton the internet these days.
I just want to recommend a great book which has been helping me deal with Ben and what is to come and learn a lot about myself and my coping strategies and my intensity too. Ben is only 11 months but I am glad I am reading it all the same. It is one of those books (much like BW) that I will definatly read it again adn again the next few years.Even if just for moral support and to see I am not alone in it all.
Anyone with toddlers a little older will really benefit. If you are having a hard time and need some guidance...get this book. 'Raising your spirited child. A guide for parents whose child is more intense, perceptive, sensitive, persistant and energetic. Even those with spirited babies can get a lot from this book.
Hope it helps some mums out there.

All the best
Michelle

Thanks for the tip...DH saw this at the 1/2 priced book store the other day so we will definitely be picking it up!

[benandmichelle]

Crying in sleep.....well now Ben often wakes and SCREAMS so loud. I leave him and sometimes he settles but often I have to go in, hold him and talk to him fro 20 mins or so and then he may or may not go back to sleep but the screaming goes on and on. He is 11 months and I just don't understand why. When he does go back to sleep he wakes up smiley and laughing as if nothibng ever happened. It is freaky really. It scares me. Other times he naps so well with no peep and sleeps through the night and then this happens. The inconsistency drives me to tears. Maybe something is wrong with him pscychologically!?
I guess we mums of spirited Lo's will never understand the 'my baby slept through at 4 months ' concept. For us it is a process.
Michelle

[BensMamma]

Crying in sleep.....well now Ben often wakes and SCREAMS so loud. I leave him and sometimes he settles but often I have to go in, hold him and talk to him fro 20 mins or so and then he may or may not go back to sleep but the screaming goes on and on. He is 11 months and I just don't understand why. When he does go back to sleep he wakes up smiley and laughing as if nothibng ever happened. It is freaky really. It scares me. Other times he naps so well with no peep and sleeps through the night and then this happens. The inconsistency drives me to tears. Maybe something is wrong with him pscychologically!?
I guess we mums of spirited Lo's will never understand the 'my baby slept through at 4 months ' concept. For us it is a process.
Michelle

AMEN Sister!  I could have written the exact same post as you for my 6 month old.  I don't think it's psychosomatic though.....at least I really hope not......

[campbellchick]

Hey Michelle, my ds did that at 6 months too for about a month.  He would wake up just screaming and would not calm down for a while, maybe after 20 mins of cuddling.  I had read a little about night terrors and just put it down to that.  I couldn't explain it any other way and it really didn't last all that long (a few weeks to a month).  It was a bit scary at first because I thought he might be in major pain, but after it happening for a few nights, I realised it must there been something else going on.  Could there be the possibility that is what your ds is going through at the moment?

Billie, as Grace's Mom suggested, your LO probably just needs the sleep.  However, as he is crying a lot and taking quite a while to settle, he might be really overtired too.  When I first started sleep training with my dd at 7 weeks, she was way overtired and wouldn't cry all day, but at the end of the day she would have a major meltdown for over an hour or more.  It took me about 8 days to get her to catch on to self settling and catching up on sleep, but during that time, it felt like I was ALWAYS in her room trying to either get her to sleep or extend her very short naps.  Maybe if he is OT and he catches up on his sleep (and he may need more than the average baby), he will become easier to settle and start having happier A times - fingers crossed ...

[benandmichelle]

I think it must be dreams or sep anxiety. Hope it pases!
Thanks girls!

[Lilasmom]

Hi girls!!  I am the mom of a 2.5 year old DD (textbook/angel) and 8 month DS (spirited/touchy/textbook - he seems to be getting more spirited with age  ).  For the first 6 weeks of DS's life I would descibe him as a touchy/textbook baby.  Then it was like overnight the touchiness seemed to be replaced with spiritness.  Now at 8 months, I definetly have to say the last months have not been EASY.  It's really been a shock to both DH and I (after having DD who was an extremely easy baby) and we've been quite stressed at times (a lot of the time-LOL).  Since DS was 6 weeks old sleeping has been an issue.  For the longest time he would cry and cry and cry before he'd finally settle and we could shh him to sleep.  After months of being REALLY consistent (I mean rarely leaving the house anytime near nap time, for fear of the fallout)naptime became easier.  Around 6 months his naps got longer (thank goodness) and for the most part since then his naps are 1.5 hours each.  Sometimes we get astray for a few stressful days but then we're able to get back on track.  DS has never slept through a full night.  We usually get at least 6 hours and then he'll wake once or twice to eat.  I'm not convinced he needs to eat twice, but he REFUSES to go back to sleep without nursing.  He doesn't nurse to sleep, he just needs the routine of it  . 
DS is a VERY impatient eatter.  When he sees that I'm getting the nursing pillow out, he SCREAMS until I have him set and he starts eatting.  Also, meal times in our house are VERY loud.  He even screams between bites from the time I take the spoon out of his mouth to the bowl to get another bite.
Activity wise DS is very active.  He doesn't take to being put somewhere that he is immobile.  Exersaucers are good for maybe 5 minutes and then he will just YELL and YELL like he's mad.  He used to love the jumperoo, but now is bored with that too.  Now he likes to be on the floor with lots of toys so that he can practice getting around.  He doesn't crawl yet, but I tell you he's resourceful.  If he sees a toy he wants he'll find a way to get it-LOL.  If DD has a toy he'll often try to take it from her  .  If he's starting this already, I'm scard to see what he'll be like as a toddler.  The thing that really gets to me is his constant yelling.  He seems to get bored so easy, like he constantly needs something new challenge to conquer.  I often feel guilty because I spend so much time trying to calm DS or fighting with him to get down for naps, that my DD doesn't get the attention she needs.  Also, she watches WAY more TV then before DS was born, just because it's hard to be doing everything for both at the same time  .  Anyways, that's my story.  If any of you have any suggestions or advice I'd love to hear it (I'm sorry I'm not able to read through the 28 pages on this topic-not enough time).  Thanks!         

[BensMamma]

Hi Lilasmom.  Sorry, no advice from me...just really BIG HUGS!!!

[campbellchick]

Hi Lilasmom, no advice from me either as my spirited dd is almost 4 months old, but I have a feeling that I am in for a very similar experience to you as most of what you've said sounds very familiar and my toddler ds was also an Angel baby.  A few people in this thread have pointed me to a book called 'raising your spirited baby', which I have on order and will be reading that for any tips.  Big hugs to you though and I hope you get some great advice (and I also might be able to use some of it!!!)

[BensMamma]

Also, meal times in our house are VERY loud.  He even screams between bites from the time I take the spoon out of his mouth to the bowl to get another bite.

I just thought of something that may help your mealtimes...I use several spoons for feeding my DS so that he isn't ever without a spoon in his hand or mouth, except when he throws it on the floor Also, you might try sign language since screaming seems to be the way he is communicating with you right now.  Perhaps if he realizes he can communicate by signing, he'll calm down a bit...it may not help, but it might be worth a try. HTH.

[Kriegs mom]

Hi all. My name is Cat and I have a seven week old spirited son named Krieg. We are just figuring out that much of his crying is b/c he's easily OT and OS, so we're working on putting him down earlier. Apparently by the time he yawns, he is past tired. Any help on what other tired cues are to look for? Also, when he refuses to fall asleep, how long should I attempt to put him down before giving up and feeding him again? He is on about a 3 hour eating schedule when he actually naps.
The one other question I have is how in the world do I manage things like grocery shopping, etc, when his window of A time is so short and he easily gets overtired and impossible to put down. He has also refused to sleep in the car, stroller, etc lately.
I'd love some feedback. And thanks for all yalls posts. They've been really helpful for me to understand my son and know that I'm not alone in this!

[Peysmom]

Hi I'm new here and I am hoping someone can give me some advice. 

I have a 7 week old spirited baby.  She seems to have so much energy.  She can sometimes stay awake ALL day (yes, I do mean all day with no nap).  She wakes between 6:30 and 7:00 am and goes down to bed at 7:30.  So over 12 hours with no nap!!!!  Of course by the time bed roles around she is so overtired it's a sturggle to get her to relax.

Additionally, if I'm holding her she seems calm and relaxed but the minute I put her in her bassinett she start to kick her legs and swing her arms all over.  She makes grunting noises (like she is angry).  She also tries to bury her head in the mattress.  It is so hard to get her to relax.  I pick her up relax her again and put her back down only for it to start all over again. 

During the night I wake her before I go to bed (about 10:30) and give her a bottle.  She will wake up once during the night to eat and goes right back to bed (of course with the same arms and legs and grunting).  She also will make these grnting noises all night long sometimes.

I'm not sure what it's from or how I can get her to relax.  Have any of you ever heard of this?  Any suggestions on how to help?