Support for Raising Spirited Babies

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Peysmom have you tried swaddling her? I used a miracle blanket with ds, after he got out of a normal swaddle once too often and I found him at the bottom of his cot completely under his sheet. I only used it until about 3 months then I slowly weaned him off it and into a grobag. If she likes to bury her head in the matress how about introducing a very soft lovie. Your night time sounds really good.
Cat hi, I am sorry I am not very good with routines at such a young age, maybe have a post on the easy board.
Hi Lilasmom, your ds sounds just like mine, he was scooting around the place at 4 or 4.5 months on his belly after his sister. He cant be still for 1 minute unless kneeling at the toy box pulling out everything :-). DD was an angel baby toddler too so dh and I still dont know what hit us, he is still on a middle of the night feed which still has me knocked for 6. But he is soo much fun. Re the food, a few spoons might work or how about finger food, at 9 months I had to give ds a bread stick to eat along with food or I got nothing in.

[pamelat]

Hello, my 19 week old is called Ella and she is a spirited baby, she loves stimulation (and cries when she isn't getting it) but then gets over tired and cries anyway .. !

she is my first baby and we are finding it hard.

Having reached the 4 month stage the conversation has turned to sleeping through the night but we are a long way off that!!

I was breastfeeding but stopped 2 weeks back and she is now fully formula fed. A typical day is as follows

Wake 630am
Feed 7am
Play happily half an hour, then grouchy (needs holding)
Sleeps 9am ish for half an hour
Feed 930am (cries for this as though I have starved her!)
From 10 until 12 she is a mixure of happy and grumpy, usually needing lots of cuddles or a walk in the pram
12 ish feed.
At this point my friends baby's (they say!) go to sleep for an hour or two. Not Ella!! I did try to just put her to bed but she screams for half an hour, I genuinely don't think she is tired so we just get on with our day together.
At 2 ish she will often fall to sleep (after some persuasion, a walk or being rocked to sleep in my arms) for half an hour
3ish feed.
Afternoons tend to be better, but she wants to be held, sat on my knee or me to play with her on her mat (that initial half an hour in the morning is the only time she will play by herself, whilst i grab cereal and a cup of tea)
At 5 ish she falls to sleep for 20 mins or so
bath at 6, feed 630pm, put to bed (usually without any fuss and awake) at 7pm

Nights are interesting!! The dream feed has never worked for us, it back fires as she suffers a lot with wind, put her on to colief in the last few days as we suspect a lactose intolerance, or at least a digestive upset of some kind (doctor cant find anything wrong with her)

She used to go to 2am, 5am and wake at 7 (needing feeds each time)

Last night she woke at 11pm to feed then 2am and then cried until 5am!! Did lots of pick up/put down, shushing etc and eventually had to let her cry it out (which made me feel terrible) She fell to sleep until 7am

I love her to peices and she is a very sociable, bright (if babies can be considered intelligent for their age!) and beautiful little girl, very spirited but we are both suffering with her lack of day time sleeps

Anyone else just put a spirited baby to bed during the day?

Sorry this is a bit of a ramble, tired after last nights farce!

[benandmichelle]

Hi Pamelat,
Just wanted to quickly say; I could hae written that post myself when Ben was that age. It is all so normal what you are describing. Horrible I know but it will get better I promise. There is not a lot you can do but just stick it out and try to keep doing the great job that you are doing. Try not to let her CIO, if worst comes to sort try to at least stay with her. I know it is so hard....I have forgotten the feeling.
Sleeping throuhg the night is such a massive expectation and one that mothers of angel abaies just can't and will never understand. Stick to your guns, try again and again to enforce the routine and I reckon she will (albeit later than other babies) in the next months sleep through at least sometimes.
Good luck. I could write pages and pages and reading your post bought it all back but I have to go and do stuff. Let us know how it goes!
Michelle

[Peysmom]

Fiona, thanks for responding.  I've tried swaddling and she manages to get out of it.  Maybe I'll try that miracle blanket that you mentioned.  I think I saw a link in an earlier post.  I'll have to go back and check.  Today was not horrible and went as follows:

up at 8:00
Play time until 10:00 when she had a bottle
Play time for 30 minutes
20 minute nap in her crib (she doesn't like the crib and is still in the bassinett in our room).
Woke up VERY cranky and overtired.  Screamed her head off for 40 minutes.
Nap in her bouncy chair for 1.5 hours.
2:00 bottle.
Play time until 3:00
Walk in the stroller until 4:30 (nap for 15 minutes)
woke up again very cranky because she was still tired.
Cried for 40 minutes - napper in my arms for 30 minutes.
Bath at 6:00
Bottle at 6:30 - starting fussing again.  I brought her right up to the bedroom turned off the lights and did shh/Pat in my arms for 20 minutes and another 15 minutes while she was in the bassinett.  She is now off in dream land and should stay asleep until 10:30 when I wake her for a bottle.

I find it so difficult to do anything with her as she is so easily Over stimulated and her schedule is so tight.  I have to give her her bottle at 6:30 at home and in her PJ's or all hell breaks loose.  So basically my day needs to be done by that time.

Is there any way to have a normal life without OS these little ones???  I'm hoping as she gets a little older she will get a little better but from reading all of the other posts I'm not holding out much hope.

Kete

[campbellchick]

Hi Cat, I just wanted to mention that one of the tired signs that is often overlooked is actually jerky movements.  When your baby first wakes up you will notice that their movements of legs and arms are quite smooth.  Once they start getting jerky, this is probably your first sign of tiredness.  I have forgotten a lot of the tired signs, but one other is eye rubbing.  This is one my dd does a lot and she also buries her face into my shoulder and rubs it.  When they get a bit older, ear pulling is one as well.  I know exactly how you feel about trying to get out of the house for errands when their A time is so short.  My dd is only just now being able to stay awake for up to 1.5hrs some of the time, but until recently, she was always just 1hr.  I couldn't even do a grocery shop during this time and the grocery store is just at the end of my street.  Sometimes she would fall asleep in the cart while I shopped, but then I would only get a short sleep out of her - which seemed like a waste of a nap.  Or I would have to wait until a Saturday that my dh wasn't actually working. The other thing I would do, since the store was so close, was take the kids for a walk in the pram and just do a little bit of shopping each day (what ever would fit in the bottom of the pram plus maybe carry a bag or two home).  All of a sudden one day she seemed to be able to have longer A time.  I always look for her tired signs instead of the clock and she started being able to for up to 1.5hrs, which makes it so much easier now to leave the house.

Fiona, I just wanted to ask you, do you use the Grobags for naps as well as nighttime sleep?  I have always used the Grobag at night and wrapped during the day.  My LO is now almost 4 months old, so I am only still wrapping just as a sleep cue more than her actually needing it (she always got her arms out, so it defeated its purpose anyway), and have been thinking about using the Grobags during her daytime naps too.  Does this work well?

[campbellchick]

Cat, I also forgot to mention that when I was sleep training my dd I would usually try for about 40-45 mins if she was refusing to nap, then get her up.  I would feed her if it was within about an hour of feed time anyway, then only leave her up a short time (maybe 10-15 mins) and then try all over again.  At the time, it felt like I was forever in her room trying to get her to sleep or trying to extend her very short naps.  But eventually it paid off and she caught on to self settling (it took 8 days all up).  The only time we now get off track is when she is OT/OS, which was happening about once a week whether we went out or stayed in, for some reason.  Now that she can have slightly longer A time, it doesn't seem to happen as often, but does still happen (one of the joys of a spirited baby I suppose). 

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Grobags work fantastically well, would have gotten ds in his sooner if I could, and they are a marvellous sleep cue. But ds needed the swaddle until about 3 months prob near 4. I started leaving one arm out of swaddle for am and cat nap but left him swaddled for his long day time nap, then went to one arm out even for long nap. Then second arm. But I completely swaddled at night time. Then I went to grobags for day time sleep and then eventually for night time. I would say it took max 2 weeks, I didnt want him to get too used to any of the alternatives so as soon as he was comfy I went to the next stage. He was in his gro bag full time by 5 months.

Sorry cant help re getting out of the house, ds had really long wake times from very early on except for before his am nap.

[Lilasmom]

Hi everyone thank you for your responses.  When I go back and read my entry I feel like I focused a lot on the negative, so I thought I'd add some positives about my sweet baby boy.  He LOVES to cuddle!!  I love when he just lays his little head on my shoulder cuddles into me.  It's so sweet, and instantly melts my frustration away.  He's also got the biggest, cutest smile that melts my heart.  It's so amazing to see him get so excited about something.  His arms and legs kick and you can see the anticipation and happiness on his little face.  I wish we could all feel that intense excitment everyday!!  He loves his big sister.  His face lights up when he sees her.  She can make him stop crying in an instant.  They're so sweet together!! 

Campbellchick- Thank you for the book suggestion, I am going to pick it up tonight.  I'll let you know what I think of it.

BensMamma - The spoon idea really does help tune down the noise!!!  Thank you so much.  I also picked up one of those mesh feeders and DS LOVES it!!!  It keeps him occupied while DH and I eat.

Kriegs mom - I feel your frustration, it used to seem impossible to get anything done with DS was your LO's age.  Often I would send DH out in the evening to do the grocery shopping, or if I really couldn't avoid going out, I'd put the infant carseat in the grocery cart and cover it with a blanket (obviously not tightly so air could flow in the sides) so that it blocked out visual stimulation.  I found this made a world of difference and sometimes he'd even fall asleep.

Peysmom- I second the idea of using the Miracle Blanket!!!  It was a life saver for me.  I swaddled both my kids until they were 6 months old.  DS almost always cried when we wrapped him, but it made a huge difference in his ability to relax and fall asleep (and staying asleep). 

Sorry those I haven't responded to, DS is waking from his nap. 

[Mileshunt]

Hi all,

welcome to all the new people!!  Sorry I've not got time to address you individually but just wanted to say - hang in there!! We have always struggled to get good naps from DD but since about the 12week mark bedtime has been ok.  That's only because we stick to a routine that we can do ANYWHERE!  If it's any consolation even now at 8months I still miss DD's tired cues sometimes.  I spent the first few months so confused and wondering what i was doing wrong, now  wish I'd lightened up a bit.  We love grobags here too! Miracle swaddle was a lifesaver in the early days too - until we had to start putting her to sleep on her tummy (that's a very long boring story!!). It will be interesting to see if we have another one if they'll be spirited too!

Linds x

[kitten1]

Peysmom -

C used to do a lot of grunting and leg raising etc when he was younger. Was wind.  Have you tried something like Infacol or Gripe Water?? Worked a treat for C as he was a very windy baby until about 3mths (13wks). It used to have DH and I wetting ourselves laughing in the middle of the night when his legs would come up and he'd fart, really loudly, then go back to sleep!! 

Sorry for lack of personals but I'm knackered!! C thinks that 5am is a good time to wake up at the mo.

[Peysmom]

Kitten, it's so funny you mention the wind.  She passes gas A LOT!!!!  I mean all the time.  DH and I crack up too.  I will have to ask the Dr. about that at our next visit.  The good news is over the past few days I have been getting a little more sleep from her. It is so very strange because she did well at first and then it was just horrible and now it seems to be getting better again. 

I hope this schedule is working.

[AshleyB]

The Incredible Shrinking Nap!

The last four days have been just awful. Chandler (now two months) used to take a 1.75 hour nap in the am, then a 1-hour, then 30 min in the afternoon. However, for the last few days, she has been unable to stay asleep for her morning nap, waking and crying every 20 min. or so. Of course, starting off the day this way causes the entire day to go downhill from there. She gets OT, then can't sleep for her other naps. She's also had trouble eating--she fusses through the whole feed. She then goes down like a ton of bricks around 6:30 p.m. for the night (earlier than her usual bedtime), then wakes twice in the night for feeds because she didn't get enough during the day. DH and I are just on our last nerve. We went to the doctor yesterday because I was concerned about her feeding. They just weighed her and saw that she was up from her last visit, so they weren't worried. They gave her some prescription gas drops, but they haven't made any difference. I just wish I knew what to do about her constant waking during her naps!

[sherry lynn]

Ashley,
What A time are you doing for the first nap?
Also if she is in an OT cycle you might need to decrease A time for just a few days to catch up?

[AshleyB]

Intentional A time is never more than 30 minutes--EVER. However, she often decides to have a couple of hours of A time whether I like it or not. I often feel that the only part of EASY I have any control over whatsoever is the E. I can give her my very best nap winddown ritual every time, but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I really am starting to think that I'm just doing all this EASY stuff for myself--to tell myself I'm making an effort--but that she's really the one in charge and she will play and nap when SHE wants, not when I or any "method" tell her to. Sigh . . .

[Peysmom]

Ashley, I had a smilar problem.  My LO would get so OT by 7:30 that I had to put her to bed but then she would wake up twice during the night instead of once and it was really difficult for me.  What I decided to do was feed her, put her to bed at 7:30 but then I wake her a few hours later right before I go to bed for the night.  Then she eats and goes right back down and only gets up once between the time I go to be and 6:00 am which is the time she usually gets up.  Try feeding her before you go to sleep and maybe she will only wake once during the night.

Good luck.