Support for Raising Spirited Babies

[jenandben]

Hi all,  It's been awhile since I've posted, but things seem to be running much more smoothly here than before so I wanted to post an update.  Ben is finally sleeping during the day...still not in his crib, but we'll work on that next.  He's sleeping so much better at night too now that he's resting during the day!  We're taking  about 2 to 3 1 hour naps and 1 cat nap during the day.  I still can't put him down to bed earlier than 8 or 9 unless I want to be awake for the next day at 3 or 4.  BUT he's only waking every 3 hours at night now.  Before we were struggling with 1 to 2 hour stretches.  I think, because he's more rested, his tired signs are much clearer now.  Perhaps it's because he's actually happy when he's awake, rather than trying to distinguish tired cries from fussy or angry cries.

He's eating every 3 hours consistently and is even smiling and cooing now!

So, the next challenge I think will be assisting him to sleep less.  I'm afraid if I just let him cry a bit, he'll never stop!  He seems to work himself up to a "gag" cry then be unable to calm himself back down.  I've tried sh/p in the crib, but he cries right through it.  He only stops when he's picked up, but  pu/pd is too OS for him.  Any testimonials for things that've worked for you or ideas would be appreciated!  Ben is almost 3 months.

[pbmom]

Jenandben - no help here, but wanted to say that I feel for you.  I am a wimp...mine is 4 mos old and we are still working on going to sleep for naps alone.  My winddown is soooo long...it's ridiculous.  I did also find that shh/pat didn't work for us and pu/pd is way to OS.  So, we are going to work on a modified version as soon as we return from a trip home.  Glad to hear things have improved a bit! 

[macgrl26]

Hi all,

      My name is Trish, and I have a 4wk old Spirited baby named Wyatt. I just finished reading the BW last night, and thank the heavens for it! The description fit Wyatt to a T. After my 1st week check, my pedatrician recommended the cry it out, they need to exercise. OK, made sense... Well, we hated our crib, loved the boppy and sleeping in it on the couch all night long!! Finished the book, used the tips on helping to self soothe. After our 8 feed, we picked up and layed down 15 times, 11:30- 7 times, and 3:30- 7 times, and at 5:30- 4 times. Its working! How long do you all felt that it took for the babies to become confortable with easy?

[Esmeralda Andrews]

Hi Everyone may I join, I am Ez, and I wish I found this site 6 months ago.

I have a very spirited baby (who has just woken again!!) I have been Bf and just started weaning, and giving 2 bottles a day. I am desperate for a routine as until 2 nights ago I have been woken every 2/3 hrs, And I have done it all alone.
I want to follow the EASY routine it looks like it works. I am confused as 3 o'clock seems to early for dinner or am I getting it wrong?

I have loads more questions I hope you more experienced parents can help me with. I started leaving him to settle himself recently and slowly its working. Trapped wind was always a big problem but now he can sit up he seems to be able to burp himself more. And if he eats when he wakes and doesn't eat straight before sleep hopefully this will get better. He did need to BF to sleep but I need this to stop. Slowly I am winning.

He is such a happy boy, easy to make him laugh, sometime when i am not trying, and so inquisitive, but just so overtired.

Ez longing for 8 hrs sleep in a row!!!!

[maman_d_emily]

Hi to all and welcome to Ez and Trish,

Jen, you seem to be going better.  As far as what did work, mostly time for me but also swaddle at 3 months holding arms and legs if necessary.  Also, sh/pat until my arm was so sore but mostly pacifier did help a lot.  My lo was sleeping at the breast and had a good need to suck so I guess pacifier was a good thing.  Do a wind down routine because might not help now but will help later.  You can rock him or whatever until he's almost asleep and then put him in the crib.  He might be so sleepy at that time that he won't mine as much.

Trish, it's good that EASY is working for you but are you doing PU/PD at 4 weeks.  If so, this is too early and you should do sh/pat instead.

Ez, with EASY you don't have really dinner time until they have solid well in place.  But at 6 months, I imagined that you have started introducing solid.  At 6 months, this was our routine:
E: 7:00 BF
then 8:00: solid
S: 9:00

E: 11:00 BF
then 12:30:solid
S: 13:30

E: 3:00 BF
then 5:00 : solid

E: 7:00 BF, then in bed for the night.

The time may vary depending on your baby and you but I try to keep solids around the same time and BF can be more or less before solid depending at what time she gets up in the morning.  Sleep time might be different depending if your baby stay up longer or not.  Emily would sleep 1-2 hours for naps but didn't do catnap past 4 months but a catnap can be in between BF at 3:00 and the dinner and push the dinner a little bit later, I guess.  I'm not sure if they still do a catnap at 6 months.  You can check EASY for 6-12months on EASY board to have other variation.  So right now, milk is more important but you can start to implement a breakfast, lunch and dinner with solid for later.  My lo is not doing her full night, she will wake up in the early morning to BF but I don't mind much since she started to past that until we change time and now she is all screw up. 

Michelle, I hope Ben get better but I'm pretty sure it's the fact that it is  lighter outside since Emily is also waking up earlier.  In some place they don't change time because it might disturbe the cows or other farm animals, they never thought about babies (and moms too)

[macgrl26]

Hi again! it's new mom Trish..... We have been doing the pu/pd for 2 nights along w/ the shh/pt and it does work for me at night even though he is just 4 wks old. My challange is the day time. He is actually sleeping in his crib... 15 minutes now!    Whoo-hoo! How do you all do activity time during the day?? It is hit or miss for me? Maybe once he will sit in his boppy and self amuse. Today, even after an 1 1/2 hour nap he sat for 5 minutes and then fussed and I went up to lay him down, and now he is asleep. I feel like he gets overstimulated or tired really fast. (well, if I am reading the signs) I do not have a lot of toys, just 1 monkey and the paper with the lines (not together). I mean he is only 4 weeks, is this normal???


Trish

[benandmichelle]

completely normal Trish, don't worry....save your energy and let him have as much time alone time as possible. If he doesn't cry....leave him! I didn't understand how lucky I was back then when my LO was your LO's age and now he is almost 5 months I can barely leave the room. He wants me all the time and constant entertaining.

Annie - wow, sounds liek you have done such a good job. Did you use Sh/pat? Where do you live may I ask? Is it spain or Italy?

Michelle

[maman_d_emily]

I didn't do sh/pat, I just try to put her to bed later and I also did gave her extra milk in a bottle beside the BF to make sure she had enough milk for the night. 
I live in Canada, on the east coast of Canada.  Not as nice as Italy or Spain (never been there but seem really nice), but it does have a nice view, even with lots lots of snow in winter time.  This is coming too fast (cold, snow, snow suit).  Don't think Emily will like snow suit much, but no baby likes them. 

[NoSleepBaby]

Lucas is doing extremely well now.  He put himself on the 4 hour schedule, but he is still waking once in the middle of the night for a bottle and will not go to bed until he has one.  Have tried to do everything else (change diaper, soothe, ect) but he will start screaming and crying until he has a bottle

He has dropped his third nap though but he takes 2 great naps for 2 hours each and is in bed by 7pm

[pbmom]

Well, it's been better here lately.  Although I don't think it could have gotten worse.  We survived a trip home for memorial services for a friend's father.  I'm surprised with my spirited lo and toddler, I thought we were in for it.  My toddler is angel/spirited though so we can usually keep it to angel!  The baby was great...can't believe it.  Granted she spent more time in the bjorn than normal as I didn't have the arms for her any longer, but all in all, she was a champ.  She even slept in her pack 'n play which she will not go into at home...it's like she thinks it's a prison - I think her problem there is that she can't see enough when in it.  That must be the prob with the car and the stroller too then - LOL! 

She had her 4 mo appt yesterday.  She's 11lbs12oz.  Sleepy today...shots and all.  I think it's probably the tylenol too.  She went down for her nap this morning like nothing!  Poor lo - she's working the shots out I guess.  Get this - she got up at 11:45 from nap...ate at 12 and started to fall asleep at the bottle.  That's never happened during the day before...she must be pooped. 

She's been better at night as I now feed at 3 or 4 am waking.  What a dummy...I thought that she was waking out of habit so I give her the paci and she'd go back out until 5:30 or so when she'd be up every 15 min until wakey time.  She had gone through the night without eating so I figured she was fine.  Turns out...hunger - so I starved her for a few days until someone here told me that she was probably hungry since we don't DF.  Weird though 'cause she had gone so many nights 12 hrs with no feed.  Oh well...now I know!  So she goes 8 hrs, eats, then back down.  One wake at 5:30 (I know this one is habit now!) and up between 6:30 and 7:00.  Good, right?

Glad to hear others are having some success.

[jenandben]

So how much sleep should Ben be getting altogether?  Your babies seem to sleep way more than he does!  We only sleep at night from around 9 to 6 or 7 the next AM.  I'm not sure he would sleep longer...

[pbmom]

I think the range is 14-18hrs a day.  Someone correct me if that's wrong.  B is 18 weeks and gets 11 hrs at night and approx. 4 1/2 during the day so 15 1/2.  Not sure it's the magic number though as we are getting NWs here and there.

[maman_d_emily]

Hi,
Jen, like Robyn said, the range is 14-18 hrs a day.  My lo will do 14-15 hrs max and this is more than when she was younger.  My lo did improve her total sleeping time slowly as we improve the EASY routine and change gradually her bedtime to earlier (around 7-8pm instead of 11pm) and that she learn to fall asleep with less help. Probably with time, the sleeping time will improve.  It might help to change the bedtime to earlier gradually, maybe 10-15 min at a time.  One thing that did help me was to try to put my baby back to bed if she would wake up before 7am to feed, you might gain 1 more hour of sleep for him in the early morning.  I feed her in her bedroom if she wakes up before 7am and I don't talk to her, no light and doesn't change diaper and then back in her crib.  After a couple days of that, she was sleeping for maybe an extra 1-1.5 hours.  Good luck!  You've done a great job so far.

Annie

[jenandben]

When you say 11 hours a night, are you subtracting feedings your baby woke up for?  Ben goes down at 9 and wakes for the day at 6 or 7, but he's up about 3 three times for 45 minutes to an hour each.  So, he's only getting around 8 hours, right?

[pbmom]

When I say 11 hrs I mean that she usually goes down a little before 7:30 (always sleeping by 7:30) and then wakes up for the day at around 6:47 each morn.  However, she does eat once at 3 or 4 am...though I'm lucky...she yells for me and I pop in and feed her (usually only about 15 min) and she goes back in the crib and goes to sleep almost immediately (I'm always back in my room within 20-25 min).  That's why I say 11 hrs. 

Now...we have had some 5:30 yells for me...usually only needs a plug and she's out.  Since this takes only 2 seconds I don't count it.  We do not DF, so she goes about 8 hrs straight without eating or waking (well...she stirs as I see her on the monitor, but never really wakes and doesn't need me).  She's gone many hrs without eating at night from very early days though, so don't stress out over that   Plus Ben is younger than Brooke.   

I think if you move bedtime back you'd be surprised...I was.  Remember sleep begets sleep.  You have nothing to lose by putting him down a little earlier and see what happens.  It might solve your NWs.