Woo and I need your advice and support please...

[Ennypen]

Guys Woo and I need some help... We have been having some really really horrible bedtimes recently and its been telling on our nerves, so I am hoping that you might have some ideas for me.

Ok.. I will post the schedule he has in a moment but will decribe the difficulties we are having first....

Woo's bedtime is 7.30pm. This is because DH gets in at 6.45pm every night and Woo likes to see his Daddy before bed. DH and he read books and do a few puzzles or have quiet games as a bit of a wind down before bedtime. When we say its time for bed Woo will happily nod and head up the stairs and go into his room. He stays fine, settled and happy and quite often yawning.. right up until the point where he is put into the cot.. which is where he yells, throws himself around, tries to climb out, screams. cries and whatever it takes to raise the roof. He throws his bedding out.. his dummy (which he he has only in his cot) flies and his beloved lovey Theodore flies.. and then he shouts for them back... this will go on and on and on and on.. some nights its been only about 10 mins before he decides to lie down and sleep.. but on several nights one of us has been there until 10pm and past.

If we try to walk out it gets worse.. he will initially shout.. and if we don't return he cries and cries and as you know I will not leave him in there to cry for any amount of time, also WI/WO seems to just wind him up even more.... if we sit in the chair he thinks we are playing.. so we end up lying on his bedroom floor.. sometimes for 2 hours.. when we should be eating our meal, washing up, actually speaking to each other and preparing for the next day..

Most nights he is tired... but not over tired as far as I can tell.. I have recently tried shortening his afternoon nap which at first was great as he would settle himself to sleep just like he used to.. but we still have several nights a week when we have all the shouting and banging. I really dont want to decrease the nap any more unless I have to as I think we'd be looking at an overtired monster when daddy comes home but am open to suggestions xxx

Anyway I will stop rattling and see what you think.. heres Woos average day..

7.30am - Get up
7.45 - wave bye bye to mommy as she goes to work
8am - Breakfast
8.30am to 12pm - Activity.. some days tumble tots, play group, going to the park, shopping with nanny etc 
        etc and others playing at home in the garden unless its pouring with rain.
12.pm - Lunch
12.45 to 2.45 Nap
2.45 - 5pm - more activity usually playing at home, doing crafty stuff, puzzles, games outside etc.. I get home from work at about 4.15.
5pm - Dinner
6pm - TV time
6.45 - Daddy comes home - they read books and do quiet activities.
7.15pm - go upstairs and get changed
7.30 into the cot.... and you know the rest!


Other things that are relevant... Woo is still in his cot but he is having his Big Boy Bed this coming week.. so you can imagine I'm rather nervous about it. He also has a humidifier running every night which creates some white noise but he is used to it. He also has a dim night light which he has had for a very long time and he likes.

OK.. I'd love to hear any suggestions....

Hugs from me and Woo xxxx

[em_here]

Hi Helen, I am no expert, but could you perhaps make the nap something like 12pm - 1pm, so a little earlier or would he go mad, as often lo's of this age need 6 hrs A time to be really "worn out", does he go down for the nap ok? Maybe he is so excited to see daddy and finds it hard to wind down after this?

}}}}}}}hugs hun{{{{{{{{{{

[ryan's mum]

I was going to suggest the same , any chance of moving nap time a bit earlier .I know when Ryan hit 2yrs old we had to move the nap sooner so he was awake before 2pm otherwise it took him over an hour to go to sleep as he wasn't tired enough .I liked his early bedtime so didn't want to put him down later so i worked on shifting the nap ,Ryan was a grump if i woke him from a nap and he needed 2hrs so moving it sooner helped

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

I was going to say what Emma Lou did

Also, one thing I discovered with ds was to let him climb into the cot on his own, rather than me putting him in, made a BIG difference. I think he feels he has more control, you know? Can you do that with Woo? It's still at the hazardous stage, where I'm hovering behind him as he's trying to scramble up (tonight, he said 'oo, Mummy this IS hard work'), but it seems to be much easier than being 'placed' into the cot - he has a real hissy fit then

[Lana]

Helen I agree with pp that you may need to limit your nap to only 1.5 hours at this point.  He may not be tired enough at bedtime so that could be why you are having the problems.  I hope you get it worked out soon.

[andibig]

Helen ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Woo has an almost identical routine to Sasha .only difference is her dinner is slightly later.
Her nap time is 2hrs but we start it at 12.30 (usually upstairs in bed 12.20) and wake her up at 2.30.
I know sasha did this a little while back (throwing things out of bed etc) trying to delay her bedtime and we would stay in the room but make no eye contact (actually read one of her books LOL) etc .not sure how you feel about that??

[Mariek]

I've waffled at you enough this evening but just wanted to add some {{{{HUGSSS}}}}

love

[Stace]

Hay Helen,

Not read pp but personally I would make a HUGE thing about his big boy bed (get him to pick bed covers etc?) and try to switch him straight over hopefully he'll be so distracted by the new bed that he'll forget to misbehave?

Good luck,

Stace x

[daybyday]

hugs to all of you...I'm the last to give night night advice, but couldn't read and not say...BEEN THERE!....love to you....think pp's gave some great advice....

[Shdef]

How about that?

7.00 am - Get up
8am - Breakfast
12.30-2 pm nap
5pm - Dinner
6pm - TV time
7.15pm - go upstairs and get changed, bath???
7.45 bed

The first routine looked like a LOT of sleep, Scotty isn't tired for night time if he wakes after 2.30pm...

Good luck with the big bed 

[rinajack]

Hey Helen

I too was thinking wow, that is alot of sleep.  Maybe his night needs to be a little shorter?  It is 12 hours right now, but I think many this age are doing more like 11-11.5 - so instead of shortening the nap, maybe allow him up a little later, or wake him earlier in the AM, move the nap earlier, then bedtime same time?
Just a half hour change might make the difference.

Also, when Zara was doing that to us (she did it at 12mo) we decided things coudn't get any worse, so did the big bed switch and sleep trained in that. 

She too got too worked up with WI/WO, and played if we stayed.

So we modified and did a combo.

We put her down, gave a kiss, said good night etc, then slowly backed out of the room, shhing her if she moved, she would keep looking for us.  If she cried, we returned to her bed, kiss, night night etc start again.  If we made it out the door, it would take us several minutes to shut the door...and if she cried, we returned immediately, no counting.  If during this, she tried to play or engage with us - we would say No Zara it is bedtime if you are going to play we are leaving...and would leave the room and close the door - she would instantly scream and we would immediately return, no counting.

But she got the idea that if she plays, we dont' stay, but we will stay and help her if she tries to go to sleep.

Does that make sense?  Let me know if you need any further clarification.

[*Natasha*]

Dito to what Rina said. HUGS

[Layla]

Hey Helen... everyone's given you great advise! Just wanted to say that at around age 2, Isabella's total sleep hrs went down too... nights from 11+hrs to 10.5hrs & nap from 2 to 1.5hrs.

HUGS from me too

 

[Ennypen]

Thanks all... I think I agree.. too much sleep! lol..

Woo has always loved and needed his sleep.. and until about 2 months ago was having a 12 hour night and a 3 hour nap and thriving on it! So as I said before I had reduced the nap by an hour.. but it looks as though firstly I havent reduced it enough and secondly it needs to be a bit earlier.

Having the shorter nap won't be a problem at all but the timing will create a couple of difficulties as his toddler group and tumble tots are both until 12.30.. but thats only 2 days in a week so we will find something that works.

Rina thanks for the suggestion - we have tried that.. but Woo ends up getting so wound up by it that we end up with a choking snivvelling wreck.. not what I want to have before he is supposed to get a peaceful night's sleep - so I prefer other ways xxx

Thanks everyone else who mentioned the big boy bed.. I cant wait to get it here.. he's already chosen his bedding.. its Balamory and he absolutely adores it.. lol.. I can't prepare him for it verbally as he hasnt got the language skills to talk about it.. but when its here I have my plans to get him to know that its his bed.. not just a new toy.

Amazing how the need for sleep decreases when they hit two isnt it.. and how sometimes we are too close to the situation to realise!

I shall let you know how we get on xxxxxxxxxxx

[**Clare**]

Argggghhhh... been there.... I mean am there!!

I'm sure you know Helen that we have similar problems, I'm sorry to say that they all started when the bed arrived   Before it was in the cot, night night, shut the door... 30 seconds later fast asleep! Not a peep until the morning.... now, well not to take over your post but its 30 minutes to settle using accidental parenting methods, wakes at least once a night where he wanders into our bedroom and gets into bed, sometimes he goes straight back to sleep other times he can kick an mes about for up to 3 hours... we get that about once a fortnight.  I'm not sure it could get much worse and to top it all off we have a baby coming in 5 months!!!!!!! LOL I have to laugh or I will cry...

Anyway, back to Woo! I don't think I need to give any more advice as I agree with everything pp have said! Def bringing the nap forward, this will work wonders I'm sure!! And maybe shortening it abit, Harvey can have 2 hours but only if he goes before 12.  He used to do 1 - 3 and wasn't going to bed until 9 at night.  Now we try an give him an hour only an he goes to bed well (I mean well for Harvey!!) at 7.30 and wakes at about 7 the next day.  Although as I say he is not staying in his own bed

His routine looks lovely, similar to Harveys although his days vary as he's at nursery 2 and a half days.  And I'm really glad to hear he sleeps all night!!! Thats great!!! 

Now maybe I should think about starting my own thread... Im too scared of what people might say/advise to be honest