BLW and table manners

[ishkin]

Hello all,
I need advice regarding BLW feeding.

My LO is almost 8 months old, we started solids around 5.5 months, first in the form of purees.
But he started to refuse spoon after a months or so, and we started to offer him cooked veggies/fruit in large pieces which he's able to put into the mouth and chew on himself.
Actually it's great fun - I can see which foods he likes/dislikes, he really likes to explore, and he manages to get much more food this way when I managed to get into him with spoon. But - there's a BUT - I'm not sure it teaches him appropriate table manners.

He is still very small and cannot handle the food properly- therefore large portions of it end up on/under his chair and on his clothers. And when he's full and not interested in the food as food anymore he starts experimenting with throwing it on the floor, until I understand he will not eat anymore and take it away from him.
When we're done, I take him into the bathroom and wash him and his clothers, and then wash the chair and the floor.

 But I'm not sure what kind of message all of this sends to him - that it's OK to play with food/throw it around/smear it on the clothes? Should I say something about throwing the food or creating a mess? I know that at his point it's not intentional but just developmental thing, but I do not know when it will become intentional and how to behave to not allow this to happen.

Any advice?

Thanks a lot in advance!

[noonie]

Hi,

My LO loves to make a mess - it seems all i do is washing & cleaning ....  I believe they learn by playing with hands and mouth, they learn about things, touch taste etc.  & especially love to watch things drop from high chairs - so much to learn, gravity - whats that?  and it great to see mum pick them up.

I would try not to get to worried about it, there is plenty of time to learn table manners, one thing at a time and learning to eat i think would be a pretty hard thing to do.  (Ive brought more cleaning cloths!).  We have made it a game to wipe hands and face by allowing him to play with the face cloth afterwards. 

Our table has a plastic table cloth & plastic mat under his chair, alot easier for me to wipe.

good luck. 

[Bryony]

Hi there...  isn't it amazing how one small person can make so much mess?!!  I am a real tidiness freak so I do find this quite hard to manage. And we are also doing BLW.

However I think like noonie, it's one thing at a time. At the moment they are learning to eat and I think if I get all uptight about it I am worried it will send a message to Katie that eating is stressful or something. I would prefer her to enjoy experimenting with her food.   I have a large washable / wipe clean mat under Katie's high chair, and I just shake this out into the garden after each meal (the birds are very happy!) and put it into the washing machine every few days.  And a large bib. And a mat which goes onto the table with a little "trough" that catches a lot of what she drops (the "TinyDiner" mat). If Katie seems to actively throw something across the room I calmly tell her that we don't throw food, but if she just drops something accidentally or pushes it off her mat, I dont say anything.

We have started getting a problem with mice in the house in the last few weeks which I suspect is due to the toast crumbs etc that are appeariing on the floor since Katie started BLW (!), so I do also have to hoover every evening, and make sure that the floor and high chair are spotless before I go to bed 

Katie really *hates* getting undressed / dressed, so she has her breakfast while she is still in her pyjamas and then we get dressed afterwards, lunch I make sure is fairly non-messy, and dinner is just before her bath so it doesn't matter how much mess she gets into.  So I don't ever have to change her clothes because she's got food on them 

I think as parents we all have to do what we feel is right in terms of teaching manners etc, but my feeling would be to leave it a while yet and let them have the space to learn to eat and enjoy their food.

Bryony

[Aly Mac]

Ditto to what Bryony says!!!  We are a little further down the BLW track and my lo likes to throw the food on the floor to the dog or throw the spoons on the floor. I was makign a fuss and it seemed to make it worse, so I just tell her that we don't throw food but in a calm voice and kind of ignore it and it's started to work.  I've been reading Tracy's toddler book and the next step is to take her out of the chair if she still does it and then try again 15mins later.  I figure L is a little young for this yet though, and so far kind of ignoring it seems to work.

[ishkin]

Thanks a lot guys, this have been my feeling as well - as long as it's not intentional, just ignore it!

[Lippy Chick]

Do you do baby sign language?  If not, you could start that and do the signs for more and finished etc and then at some point when your baby starts "telling" you he's finished, you just get him out of the high chair and that's that.  We're at the very beginning of BLW, but when I think Alice just isn't interested at all any more, I sign finished, she smiles and I start the clearing up process.  Then at least less food will go on the floor because you have stopped when he's done.  Does that make sense?  You should join in the discussions and support on the BLW weaning thread.  Thread number 2 has just started.  8 months is a really great time for baby signing, because it's around this time they understand what they want and have the co-ordination to start signing back, if you know what to look for.  Alice is still very young to sign back and I look forward to the day when she can communicate with me and tell me what she wants or doesn't want, before she can talk.

I agree with the other comments about ignoring the behaviour you don't want to encourage, but also let him explore and have fun.

Pauline