Author Topic: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep  (Read 2583 times)

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Offline mkaes

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Hello

I need some help. My 2 year old who has always been good about going to sleep has started having a hard time going to sleep and often waking in the night.

Now, i should give you some info. She gets up around 7am, naps around 12 12:30 for 1 1/2 to 2 hours and goes to bed between 6 and 7 depending how tired she is or if she has napped or not. We have a new baby in the household (3 months), but these issues just started a few days ago. She often tries to find ways to delay bedtime or get me back upstairs, which we have worked through for the most part. Her latest is asking to use the bathroom (yes we are potty training). NOT sure what to do about this delay tactic, but.......

Anyway, getting very frustrated with the night waking situation. Sometimes, she goes to sleep without me going back upstairs, sometimes she calls out ot me. If I ignore her talking to me, she escalates until she is screaming. Same thing in the middle of the night sometimes. I try to keep her routine consistent and give her plenty of 1-1 time. Any ideas? Is this a phase that we need to ride out or do we need to intervene? HELP Please!!!!

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2007, 01:21:34 am »
She might be getting too much sleep.  The average for that age is 11 hours overnight and 1.5 during the day.  It could be that she just isn't tired enough to sleep at night.  Do you think that is possible?

As far as the potty goes, I don't know. I would check out the potty training thread and see how others are dealing with that as I am sure you aren't the only one.

I would imagine that the new baby has something to do with it as well. From her point of view it looks like her whole world has been turned upside down. 
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Offline theasmum

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2007, 15:45:02 pm »
Hi!
I too think that she probably doesn't need so much sleep now that she is 2. Thea was at 7.30 and she wakes at 7, 7.30 if i am lucky  ;)
About the issues before bed, make sure that she goes to potty before and be firm about any ways of trying to prolong going to bed. Ones they start to realise they get extra time like that they will ask for more and more things and it will get worse.
Good luck!

Offline mkaes

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2007, 17:01:16 pm »
She always goes potty right before bed. So I should tell her no when she asks to go again?

She might be getting too much sleep, but I have say that if she doesn't nap, she is in bed early and miserable the next day. If she gets to bed late, she is miserable the next day too. So, is this a transition that we just have to ride out or does she really need the extra sleep. Up until about a week ago, she was sleeping on this schedule without a problem (12-14 hours a day). She has always slept like this.

Offline Goldmum

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2007, 18:03:08 pm »
We are going through something similar with my DD and we seem (fingers crossed) to be coming out of the other side. We had 2 weeks of every delay tactic in the book - needing the potty, random questions to me (what are you cooking for Daddy's supper, how old are you etc? ;D)
Here's what has worked for us:
- only 1 potty trip after bed and this is a very 'no nonsense' trip. No books, no chatting and if she seems to just be playing, I count to 5 and she's off the potty.
- we've started a sticker chart for good 'going to bed' behaviour with a trip to the zoo as the reward when the chart is full. It took a few days, but now seems to be working a treat.
- and last but not least (and probably the one you don't want to hear), we've scrapped the daytime nap. She now goes down earlier (around 7 rather than 7.30) but is straight to sleep and is going through to 7.30-8 the next morning. When we were having bedtime battles, she was going down at 7.30, fighting sleep til 9 or even later (the worst night was 11.30) and then waking at 6-6.30. Even with the earlier waking she wouldn't have a nap til 3-4 which was obviously messing up bedtime. She does get a little grotty towards the end of the day, but I've changed our usual activities so we're home by 4-4.30pm so she can have quiet play time or a bit of TV before supper, bath and bed.
I hope that helps a bit. My friends with kids of a similar age all seem to be going through the same thing too - think it's just part of those terrible twos!!
« Last Edit: October 04, 2007, 18:04:39 pm by Goldmum »



Offline mkaes

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2007, 19:16:12 pm »
Thanks for all the tips.

I don't have a problem dropping the afternoon nap when she is ready. It just seems that she still takes it without a fuss and when she doesn't it is off to bed by 6:00 (and she goes to sleep without a problem). I have thought about extending her bedtime a bit (7:30ish instead of 7) and keeping her nap, but when she goes to bed late, she sleeps in and then I have to wake her to get out of the door on time. It ends up being a vicious cycle of overtired toddler. I should mention that this has only been in the last week or so (she does have a bit of a cold, so I may be getting ahead of myself) and she only does it to me (not my husband). There might be some separation things going on as she has been a mommy cling lately!!! I do try to make my visits upstairs as no nonsense as possible without loosing my patience.

I like the idea of a sticker chart, but she is just two (25 months) and I don't know that she would correlate good behavior over a period of time with delayed gratification. How old is your daughter?

It seems I have rambled on. Thanks for the input.

Offline sujoomama1

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2007, 19:36:20 pm »
 ::)  I thought I was the only one....but, then I knew someone somewhere was having this same issue!!!!  Thank God for company!  hahahaha  Well, DS is 27 months and was pretty much a good napper and sleeper at bedtime....; but the past 2 weeks have been absolute chaos here.  I am not sure where my head is.   :P   He was using the 'excuse' of having to go poopy to get out of napping and (we would have just finished going poopy)....(and there were times there was more and there were times he would end up playing around).  I thought I was at my wits end!  hahaha  (not really funny)  big sigh.   :-\  Well, then he figured out climbing out of the crib and opening the door and coming out...so, we changed the crib into a toddler bed, I got all new Mickey Mouse (yahoo) bedding, pillow etc...and even made a nice soft blanket for him (Mickey Mouse)...and made it exciting to sleep there....; the bed isn't the problem; 

He STILL cries at nap time and says he needs to go poopy...but i put a lock on the bedroom door (the inside door), where he has to grasp to open it, and he hasn't learned that yet...so that keeps him in there.  And, on occassion at night, he will wake up and say he needs to go poopy and cry and shout....

I have no idea what to do anymore or where to turn.  I have been trying to read the posts, but didnt' find anyone stating this excuse - potty time;.   This is so tough because we are going through potty training and I want to be able to support him if he has to go, but I get so frustrated with them simply being excuses to get out of going to bed.  I am hoping it is just a phase and will end soon.  I don't know what to do...I tried wi/wo for some time, but it seems every time I went in...he would be like 'one more story'  ....and that would continue each time...(not that i read it to him)...

I hope you find some help...sorry I couldn't offer much help here...as I am in the same boat and hoping to find someone who responds to your post with some good advice. 

I read about the no nonsense trip to the bathroom - but didn't understand what that meant actually....so hoping for clarification...and are you saying that after they get in bed, even though they just went to the bathroom, that they get one more trip?   

Sitting here thinking, made me think about a bathroom pass like they do in school.. hahahaha  Maybe, I should draw up a cute bathroom pass for him to use...and for him to keep it on his wall...and when he has to go...he can use it the one time..and then that is it for the nap time....no more passes..do not pass go...go straight to sleep!!  hahahaha
 ;D

Well, hoping to find some real answers...soon...as it is driving me insane.  He too...gets too tired if he doesn't nap in the afternoon and I think it is too early for him to give it up...In my humble opinion. ::)

Take care.

Offline Goldmum

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2007, 20:47:10 pm »
Ksellnow - with the sticker chart, you could try a little reward for each night instead of the whole delayed gratification thing. My DD is 30 months - at 2 she was completely obsessed with stickers so perhaps just collecting stickers could be a reward in itself? It is hard to stay no nonsense with the trips upstairs, isn't it? My all time favourite was going upstairs because DD was having a major cry to find her completely dry-eyed, sitting up in bed. When I asked why she called me, she replied 'I wanted to say you're so beautiful'! That one got me!!
It sounds like it might be too early to get rid of your LO's nap completely, so perhaps you could experiment with shortening it to see if that helps at bedtime. For a few months, my DD would nap for 45 minutes or so without it affecting her bedtime. It's only really been in the last couple of weeks that she has been fighting her nap which has been getting later and later and therefore making bedtime such a struggle.

Sujoomama1 - the bathroom pass sounds like a good idea. Might have to try it too! What I do at the moment is encourage her to use the potty before bed, but if she does call to go again, then she is allowed one trip only. Normally, during the day, she will sit on the potty and read books, sing songs etc, but after bed, it's straight down to business (so to speak!) It's usually clear pretty quickly whether she really needs to go or if it's just a delay tactic!



Offline mkaes

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2007, 23:27:25 pm »
So she is upstairs whining, it is not even real and it did not start until a few minutes after I left the room. Thank goodness she is still in a crib. I certainly hope that my dh is not working nights when we start that transition. I don't forsee it being an easy one as far as keeping in her bed.

I can usually get passed the delay tactics in getting up to bed without too much of a fight. I have to say that the whining drives me crazy!!! i don't respond until she gets to the point of crying. I miss the days of putting her in her crib and having her play a bit by herself until she fell asleep. Perhaps we will be there again one day soon.

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2007, 23:59:30 pm »
ksellnow,
Is there something that could have triggered the clinginess? Is that even a word?  :-\   I might try a longer windown time so she has some special time with you and a bit later of a bedtime.  I am going to try to keep Claire's nap until 1st grade!
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Offline mkaes

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2007, 00:24:57 am »
I am not sure what has triggered it to be honest. She was always a mommy cling until right before dd2 was born and then she was a daddy cling. She stayed a daddy cling for a few months, but is back to being a mommy cling. She goes to school and daycare. She has been going all along even after dd2 was born. I know there are a few new faces there, which is kind of when the clinginess started. I try to spend as much time with her as I can while dd2 is asleep.

Ideally, I would like to have dd2 asleep for the night before I put dd1 down. Unfortunately, dd2 doesn't always settle so easily. When I am home alone at night (which is m-f), I get the 2 girls ready together, bring dd1 upstairs and then put dd2 to bed. I do this because at this time of night if dd2 is not sleeping she is screaming because she is tired. I don't just want to throw dd1 up to bed. I figured she would get more time winding down time this way. I can't really wait until dd2 is in bed because one never knows how long it will take her to settle.

It wasn't too bad tonight. She goes up without a fuss, attempting to delay of course, but no major meltdowns when she I don't let her. A bit of whining after I left, but not screaming. I went up at one point and fixed her blankets as she has a hard time fixing them herself and she has been quiet since. She has been waking up coughing at night, so I am hoping that this has something to do with it. (I am not hoping that she is sick, just that being sick is making her extra clingy, you know what I mean). Thanks for all the help.

Offline Ennypen

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2007, 16:59:58 pm »
Hiya

Just wanted to send a hug.. from another mommy to a 2 yr old who has been struggling with bedtime!

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=104214.0

H xxx

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2007, 18:42:26 pm »
Hugs!  You certainly deserve a massage or night out for coordinating bedtime for two little ones, don't you?  Tell your husband I said a foot rub or a trip to the spa would be a good idea.   ;)
 
Does dd1 have a baby doll?  Do you think you could maybe let her be a "helper."  It's just a thought but apart from the normal 2 year old developmental stuff maybe she just needs to feel a little extra connection. Would she take her baby in your room or the living room and cuddle it to help it go to sleep while you deal with dd2?  If she will she might get the satisfaction of being a big girl and that special mommy/me connection she needs. It would also help her windown a little because she is putting her baby to sleep. After you get dd2 to sleep you and dd1 could read a little and cuddle and maybe talk about how the two of you are such a good team at night taking care of the babies.  It's just a thought and I might be WAY out there cause I only have one and woudln't dream of pretending like I would really KNOW how to handle bedtime for two. 

Hang in there.  This too will pass...someday.

 :)
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Offline mkaes

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #13 on: October 05, 2007, 21:34:59 pm »
Thanks for the support and advice ladies. I have tried a special bag of toys that comes out only when I am in getting dd2 (Emma) to sleep. This works for naps, but no so much for bedtime as I find that she just want to be near me especially since I returned to work. I will let Abby (dd1) in while I put Emma to sleep, but that doesn't always work either because 2 year olds don't exactly know how to whisper. Anyway, I am sure we will figure it out. Last night was not too bad. She remained quiet after I went up to fix her blankets and stayed that way until the morning. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it continues.

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 2 yo suddenly having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep
« Reply #14 on: October 05, 2007, 22:24:08 pm »
Keep me posted. 
I did have a thought earlier, maybe you should post in the 2 under 2 section of this site.  You may find that those who are in the same boat as you have more ideas and advice. 

Myia
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