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Author Topic: We Are Both Confused????  (Read 1942 times)

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Offline MumTo2Princes

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We Are Both Confused????
« on: October 15, 2007, 00:50:58 am »
Hi, I posted the other day and am not getting much joy or help from dh so can I get some ideas.
7am - bottle feed 4 oz
7.15 - 9 - A
9- 11 - Sleep May have to resettle with dummy after 1 hr (wrapped and dummy)
11 - bottle feed 4 oz
11.15 - 1.00 - A
1 - 3 - Sleep May have to resettle with dummy after 1 hr (wrapped and Dummy)
3pm - Bottle Feed maybe 6 oz
3.15 - 4.45 - A
4.45 - 5.15 - Cat nap
5.15 - 7 - A
7pm - Bottle feed
7- 7.30 - bath dress for bed kisses wrap and dummy
11 pm - dream feed
then the night start from around 2 am till 6 ish of up and down sleep on and off I may get up 2 times on a good night 5 on a bad night all I do is put the dummy in and walk out because as soon as i open the door he stops so last night I was that exhausted I felt mean and selfish I got up and gave him his dummy and he spat it out and started talking and squelling and I thought no you just want me in there with you so i stuck the pillow over my head and after an hour of angry yelling out at me and dry crying (So no tears) he finally went to sleep but then started at 5 am dh was going to work so he went in twice with the dummy and then he started at 6.10 am so I left him and he fell asleep at 6.30 and I had to wake him at 7.30 as he and I slept in!  I know he can stay asleep without the dummy and he has just woken now after an hour of his morning sleep I havent gone in and he is sleeping again so am i the problem??????  should I try and bring the dream feed forward as he is so peacfully asleep at 11 when I go in with no dummy I almost feel the feed is not sitting well with him or something and he is then uncomfortable??  Any suggestions??  Last week I was offered for dh to go in and he did it for one night and then I felt guilty as he works early and finishes late that I still got up so am i more a hindrens then a help??
« Last Edit: October 15, 2007, 10:58:52 am by MumTo2Princes »
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Offline Amandamom

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2007, 15:53:58 pm »
Sometimes the DF can disrupt sleep.  You could drop it and do a clusterfeed around 5:15 after the catnap.  Try it for 3 or 4 days and see if it makes a difference.
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Offline momofclaire

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2007, 18:25:38 pm »
Hi,
Do you think he is a little overtired?  2 hours of A time might be a bit long for his age.  Do you think he might go down earlier for his first nap?
I think the paci is probably the problem and I would think about weaning it.  I might also try moving his bedtime earlier by about a half and hour and doing the df around 10-10:30, or you could drop it and do the cluster as PP suggested.
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Offline Bryony

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2007, 18:41:03 pm »
I agree - I was just reading through and was going to suggest exactly the same things as momofclaire.

Please don't leave him to cry though - I know how frustrating it can be - but Tracey was concerned that this could break the trust between you.  Hopefully we can come up with a better solution  :-*

Bryony
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Offline MumTo2Princes

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2007, 21:59:07 pm »
OK last night we put him down at 7pm and i lifted him at 9.40pm before I went to bed and gave him a 4oz bottle he didnt finish it went to bed with no dummy and he woke at 12.30, 2.30 and then 6.10 am he was coughing heaps last night and is really sniffy this morning so he has a cold so maybe this has been my problem!  Ben has been a sick baby he is constantly getting coughs and colds and has reflux so maybe I just need to rid all of this out and fingers crossed when it heats up here in Australia and the cold germs go we might have better luck!  I just want to let you know I didnt let him cry he doesnt cry he yells out at me if he cries I definatly go to him.
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Offline MumTo2Princes

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2007, 22:33:33 pm »
Sorry just reread suggestions so this would be roughly the new routine??
7am - bottle feed
7.15 - A = dress play
8.30 - First nap = 2 hrs?
10.30 - A ?
11 - bottle feed
11.15 - A
12.30 or 1 - Second sleep 2 hrs
2.30 - A ?
3.00 - Bottle feed
4.30 - Cat nap
5.00 - Bottle feed ?
5.15  - A
6.30 - Bath dress cuddles
7 .00 - Bottle feed
10 - Dream feed??
How does that look??  I just really really need help ladies I am sooooooo tiered and emotional and its not fair on dh or my eldest son that I am sooooo teary and cranky and tiered!  Do you honestly think dummy is an issue cause I dont!  He stays asleep without it its more to get to sleep?
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Offline momofclaire

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2007, 00:52:37 am »
If something is used to get the baby to sleep and the baby can't get to sleep without it...it is generally a prop. 

You might try doing a 3.5 easy for a week, so feed at 10:30 instead of A time.  I know he is four months but he could just need a little transition.  It is ok if he does 3.5 -4 hour easy during the day. Remember things don't have to run by the clock but by the cues he gives you.
I would do this
7:00 wake and eat
8:30 nap 1.5-2 hours
10:30 eat
12:30 nap 1.5-2 hours
2:30 eat
4:00 nap 1.5 hours
5:30 eat
6:30 eat and windown for bed
7:00 sleep
10:00/30 df

That little cluster should help tank him up a bit.

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Offline MumTo2Princes

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2007, 06:06:16 am »
Thanks so much for replies ok it may soun dreally really bad but I know you guys wont judge me.  Ben has been on a 4 hr feeding sechdule since birth he has had a dummy since birth as he has reflux and loves the sucking I just thought if he needed the dummy to go to sleep what the problem he doesnt need it to stay asleep I know what you are saying with it that if he wakes during the night I need to put it back in but it isnt a huge drama I really dont think this is a prop issue!  If I leave Ben to talk and mantra cry 8 times out od 10 he will fall asleep on his own I just think for the first 3.5 months of his life I have rushed in and done what he wanted me to do ie be there for him when he yells out and now I am exhausted and he isnt happy that I am trying to stop it.  Does that sound bad??  I am going to try this afternoon to give him a longer cat nap so 1 hr to 1.5 and see if I can get him to be happier to go to bed.  I tried yesturday to just out him down without dummy and do pu.pd  but he hated it as soon as I gave him the dummy he was gone (I know thats bad)  but what do I do.  I am happy for him to have one no. 1 son had one and was ok with it he would resettle if I popped it back in ok I am rambeling but yeah I dont know if a 3.5 easy will be any good as he has been on 4 hr since birth
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Offline momofclaire

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2007, 17:19:57 pm »
If he has been on 4 since birth then you might be right. 
If you are fine going in and replugging then certainly keep the paci but you will probably be doing that until he can replace it himself.
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Offline Lolly

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2007, 21:43:12 pm »
We got rid of my LOs dummy at about 4.5 months. I wasn't sure if it was the problem, he used it to go to sleep and would sometimes spit it out. We got to the stage when I was going in to him about 4/5 times a night and putting it back in - it was more disruptive to me than him. I got very fed up so we went cold turkey and it made a huge difference. Once we got over the first 3/4 days he started sleeping more deeply/restfully and for longer periods.

To be fair on him once I decided to drop it I threw all the dummys out so I couldn't cave in, I didn't want to put him through crying and pu/pd to have to start again sometime. Day naps were worse than night for us but it really only took about 3 days to see a difference.

I know you feel the dummy isn't an issue - (and of course no-one is judging you, we all can only do what we feel is best for our babies) I didn't think it was either - (DH did, don't you just hate it when they are right :P) but now I am sooo glad we ditched it when we did! My Lo is a refluxer too!

Laura
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Offline MumTo2Princes

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2007, 21:49:50 pm »
I started last night NO dummy!!  it was heart breaking but I know for my failies sake it needs to be done!  thanks for support!
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Offline Bryony

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Re: We Are Both Confused????
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2007, 08:25:59 am »
Great stuff - hope you get better nights soon :) :)

Bryony
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