Author Topic: What is the next step?  (Read 887 times)

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Offline jmhappy100

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What is the next step?
« on: October 16, 2007, 18:29:15 pm »
Hi, I'm Jill and my son is Samuel.  Samuel is 13 months old and has always "needed" a warm body to go to sleep.  This is a case of accidental parenting big time. 

He has been sleeping in his crib since he was about 4 months old.  He is a frequent night waker, most nights 4 and 5 times a night.  He honestly does not know how to put himself to sleep or back to sleep when he wakes up.  About 2 months ago we started bringing him to our bed after 4am wake ups.  Neither of us had the energy to put him back to sleep after 4am.  Then about a month ago we got a new rocking chair in his room and then my husband started falling asleep with Samuel in the chair when it was his turn to get the baby.  This has been getting out of hand.  We want Samuel to sleep in his crib on his own.  That's how we came across the baby whisperer.

About 7 months ago I did some reading about sleep stuff and learned how much a scheduel would help.  So from that point on I have him on a pretty regular routine; meal times, nap time, outside play (he has been walking since 8 and a half months!), a very structured bedtime ritual.  We started using the PD method 4 nights ago, we are on day 5 today.  I have to say it has been wonderful!!!  But, I can already see that having my hand on him as he falls asleep is becoming his new prop.  As long as my hand is on him and he can put his hand on mine he will go to sleep fairly easily (in 10 to 20 minutes).  But if I try to move my hand before he is totally out he starts up again.  I don't want to trade one bad habit for another so I'm looking for a little guidance.  I think the next step is to do the PD and then just stand there not touching him.  I tried that at his nap today and it took about 40 minutes of PD and him rolling around fussing before he finally fell asleep.  But he did fall asleep without me touching him which is the next goal.  Eventually I would like to get out of the room, but one step at a time.

Does anyone have experience with this???

The PD method has been a such a gift and Samuel has taken to it really well.  Last night he actually slept 10 hours straight.  I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to rush things, but what he has always wanted was to be touching someone while he falls asleep, that is why I am concered about continuing to let him fall asleep with the physical contact.  Is doing the put down, using the reassuring words and then standing there without touching him the next right step?

Any advice would be great, thanks for the help.

jill :)

Offline MDHmommy

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Re: What is the next step?
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2007, 20:06:58 pm »
Jill, did he sleep 10 hours straight even though you held his hand for a few minutes at bed time? What time was that 10hr wake up and what did you do?

Congratulations, BTW, PD is a wonderful method, so glad it seems to be working for you guys! :)
Kate
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Offline yaya

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Re: What is the next step?
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2007, 20:12:56 pm »
welcome!
 i was where u r for a LONG time. TBH u have to go by ur LOs needs, my LO needed me there for a long long time but the way i weaned the hand on back was to remove when calm, cry , replace, cry, replace etc a sort of pu/pd (kwim?) and eventually he got bored and stared to play around in his cot and forgot to worry that my hadn was goen but i really do wthink it was more to do with him being ready for me to stop doing that if that makes sense?

Offline Paulsmama

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Re: What is the next step?
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2007, 20:22:32 pm »
Congratulations on your great progress!!
Been there (twice).  Sleep trained my now 13 month old about a month ago using PD and gradual withdrawal.  Before that he was held or patted to sleep and picked up for nightwakings, I'd often fall asleep with him in the early morning hours.  This stuff really works.  For us it took 3 weeks until I could put him in his crib, say goodnight and close the door.  I think this is a little longer than most and we had a major regression one night before things fell into place.  (For older DS who sleep trained the same way at 15-16 mos it only took 10 days.)  Just keep working your way out of the room.  Good luck!
Cynthia

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lilmonkey

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Re: What is the next step?
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2007, 20:51:24 pm »
Congrats on the 10 hrs of sleep!  Have you considered placing a stuff animal or something heavy in place of your hand?  There was a time where dd needed a hand on her to settle down and what we did was just placed an animal over her tummy to give it that secure feeling.  Eventually she just out grew the need for it.  HTH

Offline jmhappy100

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Re: What is the next step?
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2007, 00:28:55 am »
Thanks for all the feedback.  :)  He did fall asleep for his 10hr run with me having my hand on him, then when he woke up I did the PD process for another half hour with him because we set the goal sleep time at 11hrs at bedtime and it had taken about a half hour to get him to sleep last night.

It is nice to know I'm not the only one who is doing this...thanks for the support :)