16mo Wont Go to Sleep On Own

[KatrinaM]

Hi all. I have been reading The Baby Whisperer Solves All your Problems, and love Tracys ideas on the gradual process, but I have trouble with it. Declan has always woken up several times during the night, and needed help going to sleep. We currently pat him to sleep, and wait until hes asleep before leaving the room. I have been trying to just be in the room with him, and not pat him, but he doesnt go to sleep. He rolls around in his cot, laughs at me, plays with his curtain, gets tangled in his blanket. Anything, but sleep. So a boy that is tired when I put him down and would take 5-20 minutes to be patted to sleep, completely wakes himself up and I end up having to pat him to sleep anyway- which always takes longer because he has woken himself up so much more while playing in his cot. Anyone have any suggestions? I only have 3 months to go of this pregnancy, and am willing to try anything to get him to go to sleep on his own- hopefully making him self settle in the middle of the night also... Thanks heaps for any advice.

[*Mona*]

hi can you post your routine for us? might he be not tired enough at bedtime?

m

[KatrinaM]

Hi,

5:00am-7:15am Morning Wake Up (Varies but generally around 6:30am-7am)
7:00am Breakfast
9:30am Morning Tea
11:30am Lunch
12:15pm Put down for nap (sometimes this varies depending on the night before or the morning wake up time, but never before 11:30am)
2:30pm Wakes up from nap (never later than this- usually sleeps for 1.5-2hours)
2:30pm Afternoon Tea
4:30pm Dinner
5:45pm Dessert
7:15pm Put down in cot

[*Mona*]

hi there

well, I thought your LO may be not tired enough for the nap but now I think he may actually be too tired... there are almost 5 hrs between his nap and bedtime and the nap is quite short so I'd say you could move bedtime to 6:30pm or so and see if it helps. or maybe play with his nap a bit so that he naps longer for you.

m

[KatrinaM]

Thanks heaps for your reply. Declan cut out his 2 naps and went down to 1 when he was about 12 months old. I would love for him to sleep longer but he wont. I have been writing down his sleep and awake times since the 1st of July (4months now) because I thought there might be a correlation between his nap times, going to bed earlier, later etc etc., but nothing. We have tried putting him to sleep earlier but he doesnt seem tired enough, then wakes up even earlier the next day. I am about at my wits end. I really thought by 16months he would be sleeping through! It gets so frustrating. I am so tired myself, and so worried about getting up for two babies in January. I think that the gradual process sounds good, but I just dont know how to get him to sleep without me patting him- as I said, he just rolls around in his cot until we pat him to sleep.

[*Mona*]

HM.... do you think he might be a bit hungry to sleep through and not wake too early?
does he eat anything after the 5:45 dessert? 

[KatrinaM]

I have tried stuffing even more into his mouth but he wont take it. I guess dessert is a lot of the time later than that. He has his dinner, then will either have dessert first, or more food with us when we have our dinner...

Just to be sure after your post yesterday, I tried putting him down at 6:30pm, and it took an hour and a half for him to go to sleep- so even longer than if I had just waited till he showed the tried signs.

Thanks again for your help. I feel like Ive got no ideas of my own left at all. Maybe I just have to come to the conclusion that Ill be awake with two babies...

[*Mona*]

Katrina, I'll ask other mods to pop in and take a look

[KatrinaM]

Thanks heaps. Im up for any advice anyone will give! 

[Layla]

Hi Katrina... so for the last few nights have you still patted him to sleep or do you just sit there until he falls asleep.

I don't think the GW method will work for you if he is rolling around, laughing & trying to play with you rather than falling asleep. I would probably do the wi/wo method instead.

Here's a link https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

Have a read & let me know how you would feel about changing methods.

Layla

[KatrinaM]

Hi Layla, I have tried for the last few nights, giving him as little attention as possible while putting him to sleep- so Ive started with patting then gradually getting softer and slower etc, but it doesnt seem to be working. If I dont pat at all then he starts rolling around and wakes himself up even more etc. I did read through the wi/wo process previously but it advised that it wasnt best to do this for children that had never been good sleepers- which he hasnt. When he was 8 months old I went to Torrens House which was 24hour nurse care for 3 nights and they taught me to pat him 20 times, walk out, count to 30.- Which worked, for about 2months. Then he got sick and it all went out the window. I tried that again process again, but it wouldnt work.

We have recently been involved in a sleep study with Flinders Uni, and we were supposed to start on Friday night doing a type of controlled crying. Starting at 2minute increments. We only did it for an hour because he vomited twice, and it just didnt feel "right" allowing him to cry. Since Friday night he has been sooo bad everytime I leave the room. Sometimes in the past I have left him in his cot to play and get further tired if he doesnt look as though he will go to sleep straight away. He has been fine with this- but not since Friday night.

I am considering going to the doctors for a sedative for him for a couple of nights- which is something I have NEVER considered, but I just cant cope. And to top it off, my husband has just been told that as of next week he has to work 3pm-12midnight, instead of dayshift, so I will have no sleep time help whatsoever... 

Thanks for listening. I feel like noone else really understands what its like...

[Layla]

hang in there hon... i have to go & cook dinner & will be back to post my thoughts (hope you'll be around then)

Please don't feel discourraged. We'll help you get through this!!!

[Layla]

Ok... I think you should give GW another go but rather than sitting there set up a mattress on the floor. Lay down, switch the lights off & let him do whatever he is doing until he falls asleep. If he starts crying let him know you are there "its ok... go to sleep.. mummy's here". Try to gain his trust back cause it seems like CC has made him lose that trust (if things seem worse since friday). I wouldn't do any patting to sleep but you could try rubbing his back a few times until he calms down (if he's crying) & back on the mattress again.

Post back
Layla

[andibig]

just sending some hugs

[KatrinaM]

Thanks girls. I will give that a try! xx